Goodnight xx
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Hey guys.
It was good to see the beast finally after all your stories. Although part of me wanted it to be a poodle! Just for the comedy.
Wow Nigel! Bravo with the outfits. I send most of Neal’s stuff to the British Heart Foundation but still have his wedding suit and a couple of other items. I guess I’ll vinted them when I’m ready.
It’s been a hard Easter weekend - you see he died on the 29th March 24 bit it was also Good Friday and so it was a double whammy.
It’s the inquest tomorrow. The paperwork has been gruelling.
Chin up Dave. Remember my mantra - we live on to honour living. If life wasn’t worth living then we wouldn’t be mourning their loss. We have to honour their memory by trying to live well and respect each day as we can.
My Neal never wanted to be 60 and as it happened he never made it. I say love every age.
Lots and lots of tears this past weekend.
You know guys sometimes I try to imagine all of you round my dining room table laughing and talking, crying and sharing photos and stories. And I feel less alone.
Happy birthday stories:
Neal had a jigsaw made and when it was put together it had a map of Paris on it with the Eurostar and a restaurant and the dates of our trip. It was a lovely idea and such a romantic holiday!
Come on share your own birthday memories xxx
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The beast is beautiful 
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Another night of messed up sleep I fell asleep too early yesterday I couldn’t be bothered asleep by 4pm. I miss my wife awfully. 5 weeks
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Good morning all.
KtG I was pleasantly surprised by how easy I found it! I actually enjoyed describing it too. I guess it was the right time for me to start.
I was talking with my best friend on Sunday and he lost a baby boy many years ago, 51 actually, on what was Easter Sunday. So he has a similar situation to you in there being most often two days every year that relate to the loss. I’m so sorry that that makes things so extra tough for you. I’m having lunch with him and his wife today and although the baby was with his first wife, she’ll understand his feelings. I see big hugs happening today - and tears.
I truly hope the inquest goes as you hope/expect. Have you got someone going with you for support?
That’s a great mantra to hang on to KtG!
I’ve often thought how much fun it would be with us all in the French house! All sitting and chatting on the balcony or in the garden! Enough seating and space for 10 or 12, but only 2 double and 1 twin bedrooms! 
I can’t think of a birthday stories atm, but will have to try!
Take care today. Nigel xxxx
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Grieving. I still have rough nights 5 months down the road and at 5 weeks it was dreadful. It gradually got better and most often it’s back to ‘normal’ now.
I miss Mary immensely and I have to keep busy to cope. I don’t mind saying that I kiss her picture on my phone many times a day and tell her I love and miss her. I always raise my glass to her when I have a drink. It’s a long road we’re on my friend.
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Peaches, what a beautiful dog, full of mischief, well done for posting. , now we really know what the beast looks like . Love love the pictures. We want more, keep posting in case you forget how to do it , 
Well a miracle has happened I slept all night, just wakened at 7.30. My eyes are not quite functioning yet, think I have an infection in my left one. Still need to call the hospital to get my plugs back in. Haven’t had time to do that yet.
Georgi, Happy Birthday 
. Please have a lovely day with no sadness. We will have a real cake when I get on the Gold bus to Aberdeen, soon,
Ktg,
We are all thinking about you today, it will be over soon, you will be able to put it to bed soon and get on with your life. I thought I’d never see the end of this probate with the lawyer but the end is near, the bill is paid yesterday, just need the last statement telling me how much the worms are taking off me and it’s finished.
Sending massive hugs, we are with you, think about us sitting at your table laughing when it’s getting tough to listen to. . Sending massive hugs 
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Georgi, I really hope you have a good day today. George will be toasting you, as will my friends and I at lunchtime. 
With much love. Nigel 
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Happy Birthday Georgie hope you have a good day xx
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Good morning, everybody.
Happy birthday, Georgi. I hope the day is full of nice surprises.
Ktg, I will be thinking of you. Sending you all the strength you will need. 
Peaches such a cutie. He doesn’t look very beast like. What is his name? Hopefully, not The Beast.
Lizzy, I do hope you get the estate sorted. I hope they don’t question their share. Maybe just send a cheque and forget to sign it. 
We have never been big on birthdays. I had a work team building event in London one year which we decided to stay there and it was turned into a great birthday with dear friends. Trying to watch a play with severe double vision was a challenge. My husbands 61st birthday was a good one. We were camping at the foot of Ben Nevis. David was recovering from gout, and I hadn’t been feeling well. We woke up to a beautiful day, we both felt a lot better and just decided to climb the mountain. It had been 35 years since we had done it before. Weather was perfect, and the views were amazing. The next day, I had trouble stepping down from the camper van.
Weather a bit cloudy here. I have a bad tummy. Hopefully both will improve. Xxx
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I feel like a cheat sitting here whilst my wife is on a slab. I feel guilty
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Hi Grieving, i am afraid we all go through the guilt stage. Due to my personality, i still feel guilty, i could not save my wife. It will be 3 months on Friday 13 weeks Saturday. Sue died of cancer, so i could not save her. I tried my best getting stuff ready ,booking stuff in advance to give her stuff to look forward to. To giving her cpr till the Ambulance arrived when she collapsed and died in hospital. I feel guilty because i had to tell them to turn off the machines which were keeping her alive. I know it was for the best and under there advice. I just feel like i killed her how am i supposed to live with that. Sorry gone of on a ramble.
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Debsie good morning, I hope you are not coming down with anything.
The sun is shining this morning. I need to get up, have a shower and then sparkle the glass again. I’m hoping to go and see my friends tomorrow for a coffee, I also need to tackle some of those weeds. My fav job (not). I keep putting it off.
You have a wicked sense of humour and I love it, unfortunately I don’t have a cheque book but my mobile banking could be down for a day or two, or my iPad playing up. The lawyer would need to give me their bank details if they want me to pay it, I haven’t received any info. They are just making sure I have paid their bill first before any other money is paid out. This will be the last thing in the Estate to be paid and I can tell you after their fees, there is not much left.
I really need to move myself, time to move the log and see if my shelf is holding up. I wonder what will go wrong today. I checked all my radiators and none of them are leaking. Don’t feel so bad about the boiler as my daughter said she had to top hers up a few days ago.
Hope today is a good one xxxx
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Lizzy - if it hasn’t held can you put two logs to hold it up - as if it’s a feature shelf?
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Nightwish,
I think it’s normal to feel like that, we shouldn’t feel guilty but we do. I feel guilty as I couldn’t bring him back to life, I did cpr for what felt like hours, I was almost collapsing but the 999 caller kept counting and telling me to keep going. I knew he was gone, when the paramedics came they tried everything but they had to stop, he didn’t make it. It was his time to go. It was very sudden as he was doing so well. It’s the shock we have to bear, it will never go away but perhaps gets a little easier with time.
Take care xxx
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Nightwish, You did everything you could with the knowledge you had at the time. We all feel guilty, Why did I not insist the I took Elizabeth to A&E, why did I not go with her in the ambulance, why did I not call 111 earlier, I did not know. Do not go down the road of what if. You are just hurting yourself and not helping her. Please try and look back on something you did that made her happy, perhaps made her smile, when these thoughts start getting to you That is what I try to do. We are not perfect, just human trying to what is right.
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Nightwish it is normal to feel guilty it’s part of the grieving process. I felt guilty that my husband had gone to play tennis he had a heart attack on the tennis court and died he suffered from high blood pressure and i wanted him to take up a less strenuous sport as he was 72 but he wouldn’t if i had made more of it who knows but I believe life is mapped out for you when it’s your time to go nothing will save you be kind to yourself x
Peaches the beast is very handsome now i can put a face to the name
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Oh no, it’s not worked, I think the problem is that I couldn’t get enough of the stuff down the side because the wallpaper is stuck to the shelf and I didn’t want to completely take it off as I don’t have the wallpaper to fix it. I need to try and get more glue under it. I’m thinking of cutting a bit of thin cardboard, putting the no nails on both sides of it and slotting it between the shelf and the wall from underneath the shelf. That might work, need to look for gloves. Or as you suggested put some more logs up to the level of this stupid shelf. I do have some nice big logs that I could do it. Might look daft
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Love on your birthday, we all know how hard it will be for you without your other half.
Birthday hugs xxxx
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Sorry it didn’t work! Daft looking or not Lizzy, they probably wouldn’t even realise! Sort it out properly after the photos are taken.
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