Lizzy it sounds like you more than survived the day. Well done. I have the opposite problem for New Year. I absolutely hate it and have done for longer then I can remember. For some reason instead of being excited about a New Year I feel really down and depressed of another year passing. The last few years we had taken to going to our cabin and I liked that as we are in nature and the hotel down the road had a nice atmosphere. We sold it in August and I expected to feel the loss this year, but of course along with the sadness I normally feel I will feel the sadness of starting a New Year without my husband. I think an early night with a book is what is called for. Today has been fairly good, but a bad night sleep and feeling a little off I am feeling exhausted.
On another note - two of my children have bought me a keyboard. I will now have to learn how to play it. Something to focus on for 2025.
Marnee I think the ups and downs you are feeling are typical of what most of us feel. Just when you feel you are doing good, and giving yourself a pat on the back for coping you have a relapse and you feel you have gone back to the begining. You just have to roll with it. Give yourself what you need, cry if you want, go out, or hide away. Whatever you need that is all ok. It sounds like you have great daughters who are taking care of their dad wonderfully. Make sure you tell them that.
Mjfoo - you are doing as well as you can be expected. Don’t get too worried about the sadmin. Just take each step at a time. It seems never ending but you get there in the end. Just prioritse the important things first and worry about the little things later. As for feeling tired, I’m nearly 12 weeks in and still feel exhausted. Sleeping is haphazard and all social interations drain me but I do get through it, and so will you. Just keep looking at your feet and not on that long road ahead, one step at a time. And the advice you were given is good, a walk really can help to destress you. Pick somewhere where you are unlikely to bump into anyone you know and just be at peace with yourself. Wishing you all the best travelling this road.
Well that’s me back home, I had a lovely time, went to the park with the dog, stayed for dinner then they brought me home, the reality kicked in again coming into a cold dark empty house, when will this end? I went into the porch to find my front door open,I couldn’t believe it, the key was in the door and I didn’t close it or lock it. How stupid was that. Needless to say I didn’t tell my daughter I did this. I went through the house and no one has been in it… I could not believe I actually left the door open, my brain is not connecting to my body. I’m shaking just now thinking what could have happened. Going to have a wee brandy to calm me down. Take care xxx🤗
Lizzy I did that a few months ago went in town, more for a walk and fresh air was gone for a few hours and when I came back was mortified to find I hadn’t locked the door,I have a fear of dementia having worked with the elderly for 36 yrs but I honestly think it is all part of the grief process, I have not done it again if thats any help to you xxx
I never leave the house without putting some lamps on. Brain fog can make you forgetful. I found the first few months were awful. I couldn’t remember where I put things either
I don’t even remember opening that door as every one usually comes in the side door. The fact that it was opened about a foot was scary. Anyone could have came in, my neighbours wouldn’t make a good neighbour watch would they. I’ve had a good cry, I knew I’d be like this, I’m just glad I decided to come home tonight as they wanted me to stay another night, I just thought they needed a wee rest after doing all the dinner yesterday. I just need to be more careful. It maybe grief as I still go up and down, I’ve settled down, got my PJs on, watching tv., that was a bad mistake, catching up with Emmerdale, watching Kim doing CPR on her husband. It was like watching me do that to mine. Right switch off, back to a Christmas movie now. I’m not even tired will need to stay up a while yet, Not a good night. Xx
It’s a nightmare when you can’t sleep, I’m just waiting for the washing machine to finish its cycle so I can get to bed , babysitting my youngest grandson (10 mths old) 2moro he will be dropped off at 06.30 till about 1.30, I will be shattered I’m not an early morning person lol xxx
The finance guy called. Seems my husband and I have a joint account that I didn’t know about. Hmm. But, they are sending me a $14K check which is the mandatory withdrawal that he had to take once he was 72 years old. So once again, thank you my Sweetheart - always taking care of me. It is almost enough to pay the insurance man.
My dearest and longest term friend called with bad news. Her momma who is like my second momma is coming home from the hospital into hospice care. She is going downhill quickly. She is the last of our parents and again, that life is coming to an end. 65 years of friendship and sisterhood and 65 years of a second mom. She was my mom’s best friend and her second husband was my dad’s best friend.
Tired of losing people already.
Ha! Misplacing things is my new specialty. I’ve left doors unlocked, keys in the drive, eyeglasses disappear, even St. Joseph from my nativity set vanished only to return the next day in his RED box sitting on the sofa. Just couldn’t see it? What?
My cousin called. His sons will take all the animal mounts to their hunting camp/mansion. One of the boys is a retired NAVY Seal now doing contract work in war torn countries the names of which we can not know or providing security for high profile foreign political figures. The other is a Texas oil tycoon. They are both rich with money, hunt, have been to Africa, but do not have these trophies. They are 6’4" and built like Superman. I am happy they are going to the boys who will appreciate them. My husband was so impressed with these young men, they are indeed a special breed. I think he would approve. I need them out of the house no matter as it is time for me to make our house into my house and my house does not include animal trophies as decor. The Africa theme is over and it is time for a new look.
Have done a whole lot of nothing today and not finished yet. So, back to nothing.
Georgi, best wishes for tomorrow, it certainly is very tiring watching them at that age, such an early start . I hope I will still be sleeping at that time but who knows, I’m not tired at all tonight. I need to start sorting out what I’m making for when the family come down to me on Sunday, might be a trip to supermarket. Will be the first time I’ve cooked a proper meal in ages. Xxx
Peaches, it seems to nothing but bad news just now, all I hear about is friends waiting for results from tests they have had or going through cancer treatment. That was good news on getting the cash. Nice to get a surprise for a change. I hope your luck continues. We could all do with a bit of luck, mine seems at rock bottom just now. Take care xxx
Mgb, that makes me feel a bit better, I have all my lights on a timer and funnily enough my daughter asked me If I had my ring doorbell on last night, I said no as it never seems to work when I put it on with my phone, she took my phone and it worked first time, the thing is none of my neighbours would probably do anything if the alarm went off and I would die if it went off in the night. I do have it on tonight and doors have all been checked twice tonight. Take care xx
Lizzy I’m so surprised you have not left the key in the door before. I certainly have when I have had no excuse. My problem is locking the back door to the garage. It has a key and a padlock. My husband was always in his garage and every night before he went to bed he checked he had locked it. I have left the keys in several times. Several times I have clicked the padlock without changing to combination. And a couple of times not locked it at all. Seems to be a blank spot in my head. My husband would be furious with me, his precious motorbike is in there. On Christmas day the family went for a walk. The little ones were dawdling so a few of us went on ahead to put the kettle on. I didn’t have my key. Someone said I had given it to my son as he had forgotten something and needed to go back to get it. I had no memory of that. But she was right he had it. Our minds are full of all sorts of things and there is a limit to what it can do.
Oh Peaches unexpected money how nice. I bet that gave you a boost. My father died 6 years ago. We found out this year he jointly owned a lockup no one knew about. Maybe you will discover more surprises.
It sounds like you will have some space in your home to fill. There is nothing like the feeling of being in control. It sounds like you have got this.
Debsie, you have made me feel better, it was stupid of me, I will be more careful, it will make me check it more carefully, I always struggled with the keys in this house, you have usually got to wiggle them about, checked the door twice last night and put the alarm on. I’m sorted (till the next time) lol. Xxx
Thanks Debsie, and yes, my two girls and my two boys and all their other halves certainly are wonderful and all look after me, almost too much at times!
Hi Lizzy, he was good as gold, he is such a happy smiling wee boy /and had my daughter and my 2 grandchildren (19 & 13) visit this afternoon and evening, it will be lonely 2moro on my own but that is our life now, the solo life xxx
Locking up has taken me a while to get used, I check the door several times in an evening!! My husband always did that cause he would stay up later than me so security and ensuring everything was switched off was always his job!
Funny when you have been married for a lifetime (47 yrs for us ) how you fall into certain duties you always did or he always did without actually any discussion xx