Beautiful x 
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I feel the same I just want my hubby to come and get me so we can be together again
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Broken doll, we all wish that would happen, I’m afraid it not going to happen, I still wake up and think I’ve just been dreaming about it but reality hits and it’s all true. We don’t want to but we have to make new memories. It’s still very raw for you, you will get there. Take care 
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I second that. Every day
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You are a very thoughtful person and that was a large donation of food going to a needy family, well done you xxx
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Lizzy I think going into a new year is always going to be difficult, to me its like leaving my husband further in the past, plus his birthday (70th) and 10 days later our 49th wedding anniversary are in January so always will be a hard month !
My 13 yr old granddaughter messaged to ask if she could come for a sleepover, so at least it wasn’t just me and the cat seeing in the new yr x
Last yr her and her brother came for a sleepover so to date I have not spent a hogmanay on my own.
Hope your doing ok today, take care xxx
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I agree with all you said, Peaches is a remarkable woman and I for one have huge respect for her, over the time on this forum she has always managed to say just the right things to help all of us xxx
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That was just horrendous and even more so because he was an American born & bred, those poor families who have lost their loved ones needlessly, my thoughts are with everyone who has lost a loved one. What is happening in our world today, Germany at christmas and now this its heartbreaking xxx
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Georgi, I’m glad you had company, it must have made a difference. I was doing really well this morning, went into Glasgow with my daughter and grandson, went for lunch then told her I would get the bus back home, she even came to make sure my buses were on before she left me. Bus was late getting into bus station, an hour passed and it said next bus wasn’t due for another 90 minutes. I went and checked and man said no buses going my way today, I could have cried. Went down to Train station, managed to get a train, but my problem was no buses from station, I had to walk for an hour on a dark country road, my husband would have been furious with me. I sobbed all the way home, two women were attacked a few weeks ago at this rural station. I did get home, my daughter is mad at me for not phoning her. Now I can’t heat up, I’m so cold, have heating up full and a big oodie with hood up and still can’t heat up. It’s -4 outside. Im trying to be independent and not call everyone all the time. So much for a good start to the year. Will start again being positive tomorrow, need to send loads of stuff to attorney abroad and get the ball rolling, please let my printer work. Wish me luck. Take care xxx
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Oh Lizzy that was awful I don’t know if i could’ve done that, I can’t even go out to the bin in the dark! You’re one brave lady, but yes it’s too dangerous you should have called your daughter!! Don’t go doing anything like that again, please xxx
But I’m thankful you are safe xxx
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Georgi, it may gave been a scam and the woman was not needy, but I couldn’t know and the thought of 5 people - 2 of them under 4 years of age - with no food to eat and living in husband’s childhood neighborhood was something I could not overlook. “When I was hungry, you fed me.” I feed everything, crows, birds, opossums, racoons and even leave trays of water in the yard so the lizards can get a drink. I am a Pit Bull lawyer, always representing the “little guy” against the big corporations and have a soft, squishy heart. I always won as my lawyer ego is as mean and deadly as a viper.
The CPA FINALLY called me. He is coming to the house next week, so we can figure out what I owe the government and he will teach me how to file the quarterly returns. Whew! Instead of the 1/15 deadline, it has been pushed back to 2/3 because of the hurricanes and flooding. How generous. People who lost everything they ever owned get an additional 19 days before penalties start. Grrr. I want to sue for them.
My friend was to bring his dog over for a lay date with the beast, but haven’t heard a peep from him. Why not just call and tell me yes or no? Been waiting all day.
My upstairs robot vacuum arrived! Hope I can get it working, I am a technosaur and had the first one for 11 months before my friend got it working for me.
Hair salon tomorrow. As I’ve said, I don’t have to look as bad as I feel. Going to check the weather forecast as I am hearing of a deep freeze coming and predictions of power outages. Just what the doctor ordered. Also hearing that we should have 5 days of food and water stocked up as well as alternative heat sources. What? Should I start chopping trees for firewood now? What kind of alternative heat source are they talking about for someone in an all electric home. I guess a snuggle dog?
I’m so done today.
Love to all.
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Georgi, I know it was stupid, I’m feeling rough now, will be sore tomorrow, not used to doing all those steps and I did go at speed as there were not many houses around. A couple of farm houses in the distance, I won’t be doing that again. Having a large glass of red wine to relax me, didn’t sleep well in a single bed at my daughters so I’m glad to be home in my own bed. Electric blanket on and my hot water bottle coming to bed with me as well. Must be cold up your way tonight as well. Stay cosy xxx
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Peaches, I could do with you being my lawyer, I’m sure you could sort all my problems out. I will feel better if I can get everything my lawyer abroad needs to be sent over to him and get him to start the process of my husbands Estate. . I just want this all to be complete and let me get on with my life, all this paperwork stresses me out. I need to write all the things I need to ask him and butter him up a bit as I’m sure he is pulling a few strings but I’m not selling it to him for the price he is asking for. Don’t want to upset him in any way. Glad you are getting help, I’m sure you will manage it. Take care xxx
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Oh Lizzy, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. I went for a walk in the local nature reserve yesterday before it got dark. There was a very nasty attack there last year and no one was caught. I realised that there was not many people about so cut the walk short. You also need to worry about traffic when it’s dark. But don’t let this knock your confidence. I too am guilty of doing more than I should. I shouldn’t have got up the ladder, I shouldn’t have dragged that heavy tree across the garden, but I don’t want to be reliant or beholden to people, even people I love. There is probably a psychological reason, we are feeling weak and vulnerable so maybe we are trying to take control. Also find out why you thought there was a bus. If someone is to blame complain. If you put your destination into google maps and ask for directions using public transport it should tell you when the next bus is due. Maybe there is a local app you can use too. Put it behind you now. Learn from it and move on. Nothing bad happened.
It’s cold down in Cambridgeshire tonight too. Enjoy your wine, keep warm and get a good night sleep. I have had two poor nights of sleeping, only 4 hours last night. I do hope I do better today.
And take care!
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Peaches, you really do seem to be doing amazingly. Things are getting sorted. Do you feel that deep inside? You should do. You are a generous woman but you are very vulnerable now so do take care that people don’t exploit that. We have food banks in the UK, do you have them there. How bad it’s become that we have people going hungry in wealthy countries.
I wouldn’t have a problem to have 5 days of food. I think I could live on my freezer contents for a month. No alternative fuel source though as no fireplace. Not even a dog. Have gas hob though.
Hope the hairdresser makes you feel as good as they make you look.
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Debsie, I did look at the app and even in the bus station it said the time of next bus. When I realised it didn’t come I asked the man at the bus station and he said there is none going my way and he said it wasnt updated and there should have been a note up beside the stance. I wasn’t the only one waiting but he was going up to tell the rest of the people there was no bus. My daughter was going to take me home but I didn’t want her going all the way down to my house then having to go back up again. I hate putting people out. I am actually shivering at the thought of what I did, it was a very dark road with trees and farms all around. I hate asking for help but I need to take my Xmas tree down and try and get it up in the loft tomorrow, I’m sure I can just push it to the side without actually going right up. That’s the plan lol. If you don’t hear from me for a few days you will know I’m stuck. I will take my phone with me. Maybe we should ask for help but I hate the thought of being a vulnerable widow, I forget I’m 70, I still feel younger, but maybe I should learn to ask for help. I will work on it. I hope you sleep better tonight, I’ve had two nights like that as well, I read a whole book last night, hoping my wine knocks me out. Take care xxx
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Do I have to come to Europe to keep you ladies off ladders and keep you from freezing to death on dark isolated country roads? Come on Girls. I am 69 years old and I, too, think I am still 25 and can do it all. But, then I suffer for a few days which didn’t happen at 25. Stop doing things which can cause you serious injury like broken hips, frostbite and torn rotator cuffs. 
Lecture over.
Debsie, yes we have food banks, but they do not deliver and she has no vehicle. That’s her story anyway. I have been so blessed in life that sharing some, even if I am exploited, is what I am supposed to do. It is not their intent that matters, but mine. It is a one and done with this lady. An emergency rescue, not a sponsorship. So, everything is cool. Thanks for worrying, though. 
My dearest friend has contracted the RSV that is going around. She is so sick, the sickest she has ever been. Unable to get her on the phone for 3 days - too sick to talk. Her husband is a physician and she, a pharmacist, so I know she has all the right meds, but she sounds awful and pray it doesn’t become pneumonia. The families with children came in for the holidays and we all know kids are walking petri dishes and will bring everything crummy from school home. So, they gave some to Nonna.
Soooooo glad I didn’t join them for Christmas Day dinner.
Starving, I picked up some fried chicken to eat. BIG mistake. I don’t eat fast food because it is garbage, cooked in garbage and is poison, but I smelled it and couldn’t resist. I need restraints before I hurt myself further.
Researching dog trainers (and dog owner trainers) or walking is going to cause injury to one of us. He is determined to trip me or knock me down. He’s still young, but we need to nip this in the bud. He is 65 pounds of muscle with the play brain of a puppy, he has no concept of personal space or that he isn’t supposed to stand on me when I am in bed. Oof!
Stay warm and dry my friends. Old Man Winter is making himself known.
Much love.
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Lizzie get yourself a proper lift ladder if you don’t have one - even I wouldn’t be going up there without one nowadays. Just be careful. We’re not as young as we like to think and bones break more easily if we do fall! M xxx
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Peaches it’s not just the girls that need to be careful - I’m still climbing ladders to wash the windows at 75! Maybe time to pay for a professional to do it? Us men are not known for asking for help much - but hey, I’m really still only a teenager! 
I actually cooked the first meal from scratch since Mary died. Crispy sweet and sour chicken with egg fried rice! It looked and smelled amazing but would it taste all right? Well it was tastier than our local takeout and our local Chinese restaurant! Made enough for three meals, so I’ve frozen two boxes for later! Made a massive mess - now see I shouldn’t have complained about the same thing when Mary cooked! This was the dish she was hoping to cook for us the day she went into hospital - so a big challenge overcome last night!
5.30 am here in the UK so as you’d guess, not a good night’s sleep! But your post and ‘lecture’ cheered me up! Guess I’d better either try to sleep or just get up and potter.
Much love M xxx
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Marnee I do have a fixed one but I hate heights, I could get up the ladder half way but that’s all I can do, if I managed to get into loft I would freeze, getting back onto ladder is the problem but I need to overcome this fear. Wonder if there are any magic pills for this. I can’t keep asking family to come over to keep getting stuff for me. Any tips on how to overcome this fear? Xx
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