Peaches, capital gains tax on your main home! Wow that’s tough. Hope you can get round that with the way you suggest. I guess as long as you stayed the 2 years in a new property then sold for what you paid, or even a but more, you’d only have a small CGT liability if anything? We all hate paying taxes but 50% of something is better than 100% of nothing! M
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Mbg, Im with you on that, it can be very lonely. I do have neighbours, a few have carers going in and don’t get out much but honestly I never see anyone. They keep themselves to themselves. As soon as I can I will sell. Best wishes 2025 must be a better year for us xx
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Debsie, this waking up at that time is awful, I can’t seem to break this waking up at stupid o’clock. My coal fire is blazing away, so I got up, will try not to sleep in afternoon. My husbands ashes got scattered in a lonely field surrounded by a loch, hills and wildlife. This is where he was happy. Loved the peace and quiet. When I pass it on the bus, I actually smile instead of crying now. Xxx
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Lizzi, the early hours of the morning must be the loneliest time. It’s when I feel my lowest and my grief the hardest. I did get back to sleep for a couple of hours, hopefully it is enough.
I wonder how long it is before I actually accept that he is gone. He is still very much with me. I talk to him and write to him, and I can’t see me letting go anytime soon. I don’t want to. It will make me smile thinking of him in Yorkshire. My friend thinks it needs to be somewhere close by that I can visit, but I don’t need to visit him, he is always with me.
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Marnee funnily enough my son mentioned that we need to be careful. My husbands dad was born in a small village in the middle of the Yorkshire moors. It is high up there and often windy. If we do misjudge it he would be laughing. We will also have a pint of Theakstons Old Peculiar his favorite beer pulled fresh from the cask. I have just got to get my driving confidence improved as its a 3.5hr journey.
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Debsie now you’re talking! Haven’t had a pint of Old Peculiar for years! There was a pub just below the hill where we scattered mum’s ashes, and we had a nice pint in there. My brother has been back as he has family near there, The rest of us did laugh but brother didn’t really see it that way! 
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Debsie, yes early hours, 2.30, 4.00, are waking times for me too. My problem is partly that staying hydrated means I get up often at night anyway. It’s just harder to get back to sleep now. I talk to Mary everyday and my daughter in law, and my son in law’s sister still send her WhatsApp messages. It was a bit strange at first as her phone is still live and receiving messages, but I’m used to that now and it’s part of their way of grieving. So I told them to carry on. The ones that get me are the emails from the church, about the reading and Eucharist Minister rotas. I can’t seem to get them to take her off their email list, despite her funeral being at the same church!
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Debsie thats what my nights are like too, I have 3 types, nights where I don’t fall asleep till near 6am and then I sleep late till 9.30 am, other nts I sleep to start but then wake up at 3am then toss & turn the rest of the night , I’ve even had a nt where I didn’t sleep at all and got up at 8, ( thankfully that was a one off) no pattern at all, just what my body dictates on any night ! Drives me nuts, thing is I slept good last nt but got up and was doubled over with lower back pain till lunch time(arthritis) never rains but it pours ! Getting old and grieving is a terrible combination xxxx
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I find that drinking a glass of whole milk when I get in bed helps me sleep all night. Sleep on your left side to eliminate acid reflux of the milk. It works with babies, and we are just big babies, right?
I hope you all get some good sleep and wake rested.
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Not heard of that before but good point about babies, I don’t have whole milk in the house, maybe I will buy some tomorrow to try it xxx
Georgi - get the lactose free whole milk.
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US President Jimmy Carter died. He was 100 years old. He was POTUS in the '70’s when we had gasoline rationing because of his policies and he gave away the Panama Canal built by, and paid for by, US taxpayers. Bad policies but, he did make an impact on Habitat for Humanity which builds houses for the poor and he and his wife continued to live in their modest house on his peanut farm. Good hearted man - bad POTUS.
Another phone call asking for some of my husband’s things. I just do not understand people at all.
The kitty condo isn’t working. She urinates in her bed and sleeps in it. I left the gate open so she could get out a bit and she did her business on my floor. I don’t know how much more patience I have with this situation. VERY tired of cleaning up this mess on the daily, but euthanasia is out of the question. Don’t know what to do! She is elderly, was a stray, is blind and has been here for nearly 8 years. I liked her much better when she was an outdoor, feral, cat.
Cleaned one bathroom, the kitchen, loaded the D/W, in between telephone calls and telephone calls and telephone calls, then just quit. Please stop calling me, people. I am busy trying to put my life together bit by bit.
Not in a good mood this evening. Wish I drank, but I don’t.
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Peaches you must have a lot of patience putting up with the cat, maybe it has an infection or something. You are certainly putting me to shame I’ve done absolutely nothing today. Saw on Facebook people saying not to leave the house as it’s like an ice rink everywhere, cars are skidding, people falling and no gritters anywhere to be seen. I stayed in all day, done nothing, spoke to my sister on the phone for over an hour, my friend from Ireland FaceTimed me for over an hour as well. My daughter and grandson called me as well so I guess I’ve had a phone call kinda day but a bit different from you. My lawyer abroad emailed me back and I nearly missed it as it went into my spam. His partner who is Welsh is calling me on Monday which I’m so pleased about as she is lovely and we have spent a lot of time talking to her in the office. I will feel more at ease talking to her. I will have to write all my questions down that I have to ask her. First thing they will want is money to start the proceedings to change the title deeds into my name before I can sell up. Things have gone quiet at this end which means they have everything they need and are now waiting for courts to prepare paperwork before I can sign them then it’s back again to courts to get it stamped. It will be 10 weeks before first documents are ready then same again for it to be finalised. Why is it all so complicated. I’m glad I’m not getting bombarded with more paperwork from the Scottish lawyer. I’m getting so stressed with it all. Wish it was all done. In between my phone calls I’ve been sleeping most of the day, I will no doubt join the 3am gang waking up or maybe I will do an all nighter again. I usually get up and have a hot choc with my lactose free whole milk when I waken up. Wish us all luck in the sleep department tonight. Night night everyone 
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Hi Lizzy, hope your still asleep, its 02.54 and I have not slept yet, just the usual as soon as I try to sleep my thoughts turn to my husband, tho this time its because it was his 70th birthday yesterday, it was a difficult day and now a hard night, we couldn’t go visit the grave because the weather is bad here and a lot of snow. My mind is now in overdrive and feeling guilty because I couldn’t visit on such a special birthday even though I know he would have understood and would not expect anyone to go in that weather, but doesn’t stop my guilt !
Roll on morning xxx
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Peaches I forgot your advice yesterday when I went shopping so didn’t get the lactose free whole milk and only have my usual milk fat free!
And lying here wide awake at 03.08 not slept a wink yet, I’m going to be shattered tomorrow or should I say today but Sunday is a boring lazy day anyway, I don’t like Sundays never have xxx
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Peaches, I think you need to see if a vet can come out to see your cat. Cats don’t show their pain as it makes them vulnerable to predators. When we took our cat in, he had a tumour in his heart. He had probably been suffering for some time. it’s only because he couldn’t lay down to sleep and struggled to breath that we finally noticed. It was still a hard decision for us and he was in distress. That was last April my 2024 was truly a shit year. I wish people would come and ask to buy my husbands stuff. Got to sort out selling the campervan and motorbike this year. That is going to hurt me a lot. I just want someone to take them away and sort it for me. I keep asking my sons if they want his things but generally don’t.
Lizzy, great news that you are no longer being bombarded with requests for documents, just a waiting game now. We have a sprinkling of snow. I’ve been listing things on eBay. What a chore that is, but I don’t need 12 pairs of binoculars and steam engines. Although I must admit to hanging on to more binoculars than I planned. Have to do what I’m comfortable with, and if in doubt, keep them for now.
Georgi, I hope you got at least a few hours. I actually slept well. Another thing to try is magnesium supplements at bedtime. As you know, they don’t work great for me, but it helps some. They are supposed to help with migraines too but can’t say I have noticed, I forgot to write to my husband the other day and felt horrified. It’s not like I forgot him as I think of him constantly. I do think the tears are much less now. I don’t think I’ve gone a day without a few, but when I do, I will feel guilty about that. What a strange bunch we are.
Take care.
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Debsie would you believe I’m already taking a magnesium supplement ,last nt was my worst for a while but I think because it was his 70th yesterday and I couldn’t get to visit him because of the snow, I will hopefully sleep tonight, take care, I hope you have a good day today and migraine free xxx
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Peaches if things have gotten that bad with your cat I think its time to let her go, she will be really suffering as cats are clean animals and she won’t like being that way either, I feel its time to let her go now, you should contact your vet xxx
I know its hard because I have an elderly cat too with cancer as you know and I thought recently it was her time to go because she had terrible diarrhoea for a couple of days but I bought probiotic drops for cats/dogs and it settled her tummy almost instantly, plus as you know I have her on CBD oil too! Though I think I will need to let her go too sometime this yr because she is really thin now!
My husband when he was dying said he wanted her in with him I said “George I can’t just have her put down just to be with you, I had our other 2 cats cremated and they are in a lovely china cat shaped ornament and when its her turn she will be going in with them till its my turn to go and they will all be buried with us ! Thats the plan anyway xxx
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Georgi, this must have been a horrible day for you, we both celebrated our 70th Birthday last year, February for me and March for my husband, because we were both quite close together we went a wee holiday which I’m so glad we did. This year will be hard for me as well, I’m afraid I didn’t sleep till about 5am this morning, I went and made my hot choc, had some toast with it and put the heating on as the house was freezing. We have black ice everywhere, no snow yet. It’s during the night it hits you the worst, your mind doesn’t switch off. This weather also depressing, not being able to get out, I need to do a shop, but scared to drive the car, I might find my snow boots and try and walk to the nearest shop for bread. This year is going to be a lot of firsts for all of us, I’m so sorry you didn’t get to celebrate his 70th. My Mum died when she was 70 and we often talked if we would still make it till that birthday. I had a sister who died at 67 so the women in our family not doing that well. I’m still here, 71 in February and yet the government seem to think we are all living to a great age, not for us I’m afraid. And not even getting a widows pension anymore, it’s all so sad. Sending hugs Georgi xxx🤗
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Debsie I had one of those nights, was still wakened at 5am, I started putting things on Vinted and was amazed when I did waken at 10am this morning I had sold something. I panicked as I can’t get out as roads are too bad for me to drive on. After reading the instructions this item needs to go to a post office which I can take a walk to if I wear good boots, fingers crossed this ice starts to ease off by tomorrow. I’ve started clearing more stuff out, I went crazy at the beginning then stopped. I did also clear my wardrobe at the same time. I’m trying to sell his camera just now, it’s practically brand new, my grandson used it more than him. I was going to give him it but he told me to sell it. If it doesn’t sell he is taking it. I would say it’s getting a tiny bit easier, I only cried a few times yesterday and it was during the night again. If I could only sleep better it would help. In for another long day, I’m really looking forward to spring when it gets lighter, I’ve had enough of this horrible time of year. Peaches, can we all come and stay with you, we need sunshine lol 
xx take care xxx
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