I agree some fall away, Ive experienced that too but I have friends who keep in touch no matter what, those are the special ones xxx
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KtG that sounds good, I will give that a try, have to admit I do get a boost conversing with all the people on here its done wonders for me over the last yr( I cant even remember if it is a yr, not sure now when I joined) my husband passed will be 2 yrs on May 1st, just knowing you have people who understand fully to talk to at any time is so comforting and the advice they give is priceless xxxx
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I love winter cause I love my hot water bottle, the cover came from my daughter’s hot water bottle when she was a child( she’s 47 this yr),he’s a gorilla & he has bald patches now and old like me but I love him !
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Yes im lucky i have a few really close friends who are always checking in on me xx
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Lizzy thats one thing I did in the beginning cause it was scattered in different places, I bought a folder that had lots of different sized pockets with labels to say what was in each pocket and an index in front telling you where everything is, so now when I go my family will have that and know exactly whats what , from insurance policies to funeral plan and much more, great idea, well I thought so anyway and the amount of paper that was out of date got shredded was unbelievable ! Great idea well I think so anyway🤪
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Georgi, I was going to sort all this out today and I started to till I got a email from the lawyer abroad, why is it never simple. The assistant has moved back to Wales but still works for the lawyer abroad. She has emailed me with loads of forms, my head is hurting, think I need Peaches to sort it out lol. I now have to fill them in, get Power of Auttorney done, go to a Notory Public then get it stamped by the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. My printer is playing up and I just want it all to go away. My head is hurting with paperwork, my folder is in a worse place than it was this morning.
Not a good day for me today. I really hate dealing with lawyers. Xxx
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Lizzy, just breathe. You have got this. Break it down to bite size pieces. I think the cleaning and sorting and organising is just our way of taking a bit of control back into our lives. We hate the chaos our lives have now become. We like order and until you can get your estate sorted you feel stressed and unsettled. I get that as I’m the same. But all you can do is your best. I got stressed yesterday filling in a claim for a lost parcel. I’m not sure if it’s age but I’m sure I never found filling in forms as hard as I do now. I finally decided to call HMRC to ask about his tax. They say I will need to fill in a return and will send it to me. The question is why did I have to ask? Would they have done anything if I hadn’t? What a mess our country is in.
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Oh Debsie, it’s awful the things that are upsetting us. My brain not working properly just now. This is all very complicated for me, I’m not coping. I thought things were getting better but it’s clearly not. Lawyers stress me out so much and it shouldn’t be this way. I know I’m going to be up all night now, my mind is churning. I’m back on that horrible roller coaster. Going to force myself to eat something, not eaten all day apart from a biscuit , here we go again. Take care, xxx
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Hi Lizzy, it was such a cruel twist of fate, neither you nor husband deserved that. The only thing I can say, which is the same for all of us to focus on all the happiness we had, a lot of us for many yrs, with our partners before illness struck, I know its hard because I too feel bitter and say why him but it does none of us any good to dwell on their period of illness before they passed, we need to focus on the happy times & I need to practice what I preach!
Thinking of all of us on this forum & wishing us all some peace from the torturous thoughts xxx
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Debsie, I used the government “Tell Us Once” service and that got round having to tell everybody. DWP, DVLA, Civil Service Pension Scheme, Council Tax and HMRC etc. all sent me the relevant forms, or took action immediately, without any further action on my part. I’m in England but I do know it’s a bit different in devolved nations.
Hope you get it all sorted OK?
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Essexgal those are the friends to focus own, they’re special xx
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Oh Lizzy I wish I could help, those things are a nightmare, you would think they could simplify things when dealing with people who are grieving ! I really hope you get it sorted soon for your peace of mind xxx
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Georgi it’s just all the aftermath that we have to deal with eg the lost lost daughter that didn’t want anything to do with her dad after a divorce, I’ve never met her but she is really upsetting me. I told myself before that I would not let her do this to me again, but I can’t sign these forms knowing she is going to get a share of his happy apartment abroad, I can’t lie either because she is a blood relative of his. I need to speak to this lawyer not keep emailing her. Sorry for the rant but this girl has no heart. I will have a good cry and eat and hopefully I will be ok in the morning to deal with it all again. Take care xxx
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Debsie our country sure is in a mess and fear it will get worse, its so depressing the future looks grim, but hey thats not what we on this forum should be thinking about, we need to concentrate on us and on making one another feel better xxx -
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You have no need to apologise its better to get it all out of your system and once you’ve ranted you can focus on the problem and get it sorted xxxx.
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I think I’m doing a “Peaches”! Proud of what I’ve achieved in the last few days. Started cooking real meals, dealt with a couple of credit cards firms, visited the grave without tears and then today started clearing Mary’s “dressing room” (our spare bedroom). Managed to clear a couple of shelves, a suitcase of handbags and six drawers in cabinets that had a lot of her things in them.
I had to laugh to myself though - how does one woman have so many tubes of lip moisturiser and Vaseline? There must have been at least 20 tubes and tins! Obviously moisturiser is not a “man” thing I guess!
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Marnee, thats our Peaches she’s like a breath of fresh air and uplifts us all to do better, thank goodness she joined this forum xxx
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PS Marnee, forgot to say well done to you for all you achieved in these few days thats amazing, onwards and upwards xxx
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Thank you - just hoping it holds up that way as I continue the clearing! Clothes will be hard I guess.
Much love to all M xxx
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100% agree with that - she’s a real inspiration!
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