Typical of families come out of the woodwork when money and properties are mentioned i was going to leave my house to our niece when i passed but she let her aunt down when she.ess ill so in the end i have signed to the British heart foundation so her niece gets sod all
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Oscar, well done that you have managed to do this, in Scottish law family would contest that and probably win I’m afraid. I will be checking everything I have now. Only good thing is I don’t have anybody that would come out the woodwork, I’m glad Step children can’t claim on anything so they can’t claim on my Will. Just hope I don’t die till I get my house into my name. It’s getting done just now but I will be happier when it’s completed. Xxx
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Debsie good luck with the driving today, it’s -5 outside here, the windows in my porch are frozen on the outside. My car would take ages to defrost, I almost did it yesterday, I went in and turned it on, it was very sluggish, I need to take it out a run but not while the roads are so icy. Take care on the roads and well done for doing it xxx
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Peaches an amazing post as always, you brighten up my day xxx
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It’s a lot more difficult to leave property to a spouse in France too. At present, half goes to the spouse (even when the house is owned jointly) and the other half is split between children. I’m not sure whether step children come into the equation. However there is a court case going on to ensure UK will requirements are honoured. As it stands currently France law would override a UK will, even if you are a UK resident. Even more difficult to leave to whom you want if you are a French citizen. That’s partly why there are so many abandoned houses in France - the family can’t agree what to do with it and it needs all to agree to do anything!
I guess there’s a lesson for others here, (it’s too late fur all of us) that a professionally drawn up will can be so important, especially where there are step children. Mary had two girls and I have two boys by previous marriages. To us they’ve always been “our children” but not necessarily considered that way in law. But the trust we had between us meant Mary was happy to leave everything to me (and my will left everything to her) so that on the second death the estate would be divided between all four.
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OMG I feel for you, what a nightmare to go through when you are grieving, it is just horrendous, I hope for your sake this can all be sorted soon. I think all of us on this forum will be keeping our fingers crossed for you xxx
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Lizzy thats true, hopefully karma will get them one day for their actions now! Its just awful reading what you and KtG are going through, I can only imagine what that feels like whilst grieving, my heart goes out to you both xxx
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Well done x
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Georgi, just had a long chat with the lawyer, she understands my concerns, she is checking with her boss to see what he can come up with. She was so lovely and caring and has given me a tiny glimmer of hope, at least I’ve got it off my chest.hopefully I can have a wee nap now, what will be will be.
Hugs to all 
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Thats great Lizzy,it sounds promising, fingers crossed xxx
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Georgi, I’ve been getting a double whammy today. I spoke too soon and have been getting the dreaded emails from the Scottish lawyer as well, I was a bit nippy with her as I felt like saying who are you working for? I’m the one paying this. I did send another email apologising, I hate being nasty to people but she did hit a nerve. My headaches back, then another one popped up from the other lawyer, she was so nice and I think she has resolved my problem. She is re-wording the documents which I am happier with. Now all I need to do is get them all printed off again. Please printer, give me a break and work first time.
I might even order a take away tonight and eat something. That’s if they are delivering as weather still below zero here. Take care xxx
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The main thing is Lizzy things are moving forward. I think it does people good to be reminded who they work for. I also don’t like to be stroppy but if people get my back up they know it. Fingers crossed that things work out better then you feared.
I am having a sensitive day and finding little things are upsetting me. I am taking part in a research project and had my height/weight and BP done. I have apprently lost an inch in height. He went on about how amazing my BP was, and how healthy my heart was. Just as well I stopped taking those tablets or it would have been lower. A few months ago I would have mentioned how my husbands BP was high since he was a teenager and how unfair it was. And how he had just had open heart surgery. Stopping myself saying it upset me. I don’t see a healthy heart as good news, I don’t want years and years on my own. Then I went for a walk and bumped in an ex work colleague of my husbands. He had taken up jogging to get fit. My husbands ambition was to be able to run again and as he jogged away I thought that should have been him and got upset again. Then I passed another walker I see regularly and he asked where my husband was. It seems that everything I do today is just hammering home that my husband is gone. Staying in now - hopefully no one else will upset me.
Have a good evening.
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When you see other couples sometimes it upsets you i talk to my wifes cousin a lot she lost her husband 9 years ago she understands more than most other people in the family dont understand but one day they will as they say in life 2 certainties death and taxes no one escapes anyway i know we are going to see our loved ones again thats what keeps me going and 8 know in the last 2 years my wife suffered and she is now at peace
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Debsie it’s so so hard, you would think things would be getting better but it’s not. I had to look out more paperwork today, and even just looking at the Death Certificate brought it all back. I have bundles everywhere and just waiting for the new lot coming in an email to get printed. How did your driving go today? , I was hoping to give my car a trip to the supermarket, but between icy roads and my head, things are not good today, maybe tomorrow. I went outside to get a meter reading today and honestly like you said it’s the smallest of things upsets us. I have a smart meter and I’ve still to send them readings. Waiting on them to change my gas meter. I could not get the thing open, I’ve done it before but it wudnt budge today. The ice had sealed it all up, I went and poured a kettle over it and eventually it fell off, hinges broken 
I managed to put it together and turned the key thing. Next time I open it, it will just fall to the ground. This has been the coldest month, I put the heating on all night as it was very cold last night and don’t want to risk getting burst pipes. I did have a few words with hubby last night again, telling him to help me out here with all this mess going on. Honestly I don’t know whether to say this, but as I kissed his wedding ring this morning, a flash of sunshine or light came in the room and disappeared again as quick. I actually jumped as we don’t usually get sunshine in there till late afternoon and it’s Scotland for Pete’s sake. Maybe I am going crazy but today has given me another glimmer of hope with these legal things going on. This is why I need to get away from here, I’m just a Widow with no real friends, when I go out I just get people avoiding me, my daughter sent me a flat for sale in the area I would love to stay in, it was perfect but I’m stuck here for at least another six months. I miss him so much. I’m sure today is just a bad day and tomorrow will be better for both of us. Best wishes and some hugs coming your way
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The estate laws which you are all suffering was meant to protect descendants and insure that wealth was passed down the line of sanguinity. Here in Louisiana, we had the same until a few years ago, but now adult offspring only get what is left to them by last will and testament. If no will, they get 1/2 of what the deceased parent possessed, the surviving spouse gets his/her 1/2 in their own right, plus 1/2 of the deceased’s estate.
Neither of us had children, so there was no need to address descendants.
Lizzy, I would not tell anyone about your husband’s personal belongings. Ask the lawyer if there is any way to dis-inherit those awful people for neglect/abandonment, etc. There must be a work around somewhere.
I am so, so sorry that the laws are working against you after you put your money, love, work and sweat equity into these properties.
My mantra has always been “come see me before you put pen to paper” I am quite sure that the holiday homes could have been placed into a trust with you having usufruct of your husband’s half for life, and 100% sure that if the assets were transferred into your names before the inevitable death, you would all be singing a different song.
Nothing new here other than I purchased a new kitchen sink. The sink is as old as the house, it is a specialty one, enameled cast iron, with 3 separate basins and 43 inches wide. It is beat up, no longer shiny, has deep scratches from constant use and as here are no 43 inch wide sinks anywhere, to replace it would require taking out all the countertops and I just don’t want to go through all that.
Well, lo’ and behold, I found one online. It is the same sink, brand new in the box but white rather than brown. OK! I ordered it. Why not? Whew! So excited.
I also found a 45" electric cooktop to replace the 45 year old one! Haven’t ordered it yet, it is a new product and there are lots of them, so I have a bit of time. Same situation, no one was making 45" electric cooktops so to set in a new one would mean the counters on the island/bar would have to be replaced as well.
It is like winning the lottery! Well, maybe not, but still delightful to me.
The sink has been gross for the 25 years we lived here and the cooktop has only 3 working burners, is stainless steel and scratched from here to Japan. Upgrades! Gees, it only took 25 years to find replacements and believe me, I have searched.
Calls to make today to straighten out homeowner’s insurance and the alarm system. I’ve decided to not buy flood insurance, I am in a no flood zone and on the highest point in my zip code, the house will never flood and as I have no mortgage I am not required to purchase it. This alone will pay for the cooktop.
Cutting expenses. Miss Cheap Skate is on a roll! Was it Ben Franklin who coined the phrase “a penny saved is a penny earned”?
Love to all.
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Yes Lizzy, some days are harder than others. I’m not feeling that well today, my tummy is playing up kept me awake last night. I have also hurt my back. Not a good day. I planned to take my husband’s car out today as the plan is to keep that and let my son have mine. I need to get used to it but a neighbour is having work done making it difficult to get past. That and the icy weather I just wanted to be in a car I’m comfortable with. Logic says to keep my husband’s car, but I do love mine. It’s 16 years old though and not very comfortable for longer journeys. I really need to be brave and get the practice in. I hope your weather improves before you run out of food.
Take care
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Is the pension company Aviva who I hate most of all they told the executive the world that their pension was in the world and it isn’t. And now they’re saying they’re going to follow the guidelines of the will. They’re taking ages and have no compassion at all about how what’s going on for me.
Zedra who worthy life insurance company took six months and I pointed out to them that every month that they were taking was costing me a huge amount of money And this was so they could send letters to his daughters to find out if they had a claim and one of the girls didn’t fill the form in and they let her do that to me for six months. I knew she didn’t have a claim, but by doing that, she cost me money.
On the good news looks like I’m going to be exchanging contracts tomorrow. I don’t want to leave this place because I love it too much but we’re renting and I can’t afford to keep forking out on rent. And now I will have my own place – my husband‘s legacy to me.
I wanted to do it up, but if the Aviva money doesn’t come through, then I won’t be able to do that.
But I am quite pleased with myself. I finally plucked up the courage and took all of my husbands old medication to the pharmacy. I’ve sorted out an 18th birthday party for my daughter. I’ve sorted out a removal company.
Now I need to sort out a fridge and freezer. A desk for my son. And then face all of the end of contract moving activities that need to be taken like the dreaded gas meter you’ve just spoken off and every single thing else that mustn’t be forgotten.
You know the top three most stressful things are death, illness and moving house! I would’ve done it all in under a year.
Here on the east coast, we haven’t suffered much with the snow. It came and went very quickly. But it is bitterly cold out there.
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I so love your posts! Much love M xxx
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It’s six weeks since I lost my husband.
There were hospital appointments all year and then a month in a local hospice where we stayed together.
The last seven weeks of his life he was at home where I cared for him along with community nurses and carers.
I watched him deteriorate whilst dealing with what was in front of me.
I felt physically and emotionally exhausted and at the end I too felt numb,
I don’t think that’s unusual.
It’s been hard attempting to deal with the stuff that’s left behind.
I am taking my time with that and only dealing with the necessities. I am in no great hurry to organise everything.
I try not to think about the future and take one day at a time.
My sleeping and eating patterns are off but I am hopeful that this will resolve eventually.
I do have moments of tears but they pass. I allow them to flow when I am on my own.
I have isolated myself a lot as being at home gives me the most peace. Being with others is difficult especially during the festive season where everyone is trying to be joyful.
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KtG. Well done to you! I’ve not had the guts to take the medication back and I think it’s criminal that even fully sealed boxes are just thrown away! I’m taking this waste up with Wes Streeting. Surely there must be a better way? I’ve a huge box full as not only was Mary on lots of medications, and stand by ‘rescue kits’ but she’d just put in an extra order as we were due to go away for three to four weeks the day she died. Then to cap it all the hospital wouldn’t use her own medications and ordered a new 4 week supply from the hospital pharmacy, which has just added a further three weeks of medications to the pile after her death!
Rant over! Fingers crossed the exchange goes smoothly tomorrow.
I don’t understand how his children get money from his pension? I presume it’s the accumulated lump sum and if they’ve got knowledge that it was meant for you, they should honour that. Mary had a small Aviva pension and I have to say their letter to me was disgusting. It simply said, after a one line condolence, “We were paying an income to her in regular instalments, which has now stopped.” Then a question “Is there anything left to pay?” With their own answer, “No, there is now nothing more for us to pay.”! GRRR! M xxx
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