KtG. I’m so pleased that you are moving, it’s like you are starting a new chapter in your life albeit one you didn’t want, but it’s a start. I guess Rome wasn’t built in a day, you will get there with all the stuff you want to do to it. I was quite lucky with Insurance companies, they paid out quickly but they were for the funeral Costs. The one I did want had to be put into the Estate so that’s going to be months and I’m only getting one third of it. All I want now is for everything to be sorted and start some kind of normality again if that is possible. Yes you have done them all in one go, all the stresses and you are coping. You wonder how you actually cope with it all. Thinking back before I met my husband, I coped with a house fire and lost everything, I thought I’d never get over that but I did, the next major thing was getting over a cheating husband and going through a messy divorce and coping with my sister who only had weeks to live and then surviving cancer. After coping with all that I have to say is that this is the worst pain I’ve ever experienced, it tops the rest by miles. Keep well and best wishes for the future xxx we will survive xxx
Amanda, I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s so hard and painful, I guess there is no rules on how to cope and grieve. You seem to be coping better than me at 13 weeks now. You are doing the right thing, do things when it suits you, cry when you want to. Take one day at a time and pop in here if you need to chat to us, they are a great wee group.
Take care and sending hugs 
Thanks for replying.
I appear to be coping on some levels. I think the time dealing with his illness and the knowledge of how it would end in many ways meant I was grieving long before he died.
I try not to think about the future alone and that helps me.
It’s hard to know how well we are coping.
Sending love to you. It’s very early days for you too. I am so sorry for your loss.
My husband said I had to remember him rather than miss him. That’s quite impossible but we did have so much fun together and those memories are precious yet painful too.
Amanda it seems that you have this grief sussed. All I can say is be prepared for set backs. We don’t really have any choice but to cope, I can see that my emotions have settled down, but I still miss him just as much and I can’t see that changing. It’s nice looking on here, not just to support those having a bad day but to celebrate those little victories that we all so badly need. It’s nice to hear good news too.
Wow Peaches you are on a roll. There is no stopping you now. The little victories are what keeps us going.
Debsie
I wish that were true.
Grief and heartbreak are not new to me.
Thank you for the gentle reminder that there will be setbacks.
I realise that everyone has different ways of coping and I am trying to find mine.
I am sorry for your loss and wish you peace in the future.
I am glad to have reached out to this community as I am sure I will learn so much from others who are also dealing with their grief.
What is your story Amanda?
Are you ready to share?
Remember he is by your side he always will be
Lizzy thank goodness you are progressing, its so good to hear you getting dome good news for a change, so happy for you xx
Georgi Thank you. I’m scared to even think about tomorrow as it can hit me with a thump at any time but I will keep the little bit of better news that I had today, tomorrow another day. I feel like and old woman (which I prob am lol) sitting by the fire watching tv having a small g &t. Is this my new life,? After last night I will take this as a good night. Xxx
Glad to here of some more goodness, may it continue for everyone on this forum having issues since the loss of their loved one
Enjoy your g&t Lizzy its well deserved xxx
So sorry for your loss Amanda, but you have joined a good forum with good people to support you through the grief journey, I am sure you will find it helpful.
There is always someone here to listen or if needed advise if you have issues.
I hope you find it as helpful as I do xx
@Amanda16 i am so sorry for your loss i too share some of the experiences you have spoken about and i know it is a very hard time, everything is still raw. Look after yourself is what i get told. Take care
Debsie, hope you are feeling better, my headache still with me but I know it’s just the stress I’ve been under. I hope I will sleep longer tonight, cuddling my furry hot water bottle is helping me, it’s still warm in the morning, think Im cuddling it too much lol. You have the same problem as me with the car, I really need to take it a longer run as battery was sluggish yesterday when I turned it on. Again the weather has been -5 for the last few days which isn’t helping it. The car would give me freedom, the next car I get will be one with a map telling me which way to go, this is the one problem I have, no sense of direction and no confidence. ATM it’s a waste of money having it. The road tax is about £300, we used to split all these bills, it’s a big car as well. If I can afford to move I’m getting a smaller car as I won’t be on country roads as much. I get headaches after I’ve driven, again it’s the stress of it all. I just wonder if it’s worth it. I do need it where I live just now but if I move I will make sure I’m within rail and bus routes. Hope you get a better sleep tonight,I had zero sleep last night, read most of the night. .take care xx
Marnee that seems very rude & blunt of them, my husband had a small pension from a company he had worked for years ago for only a short time, just before retirement age he received a letter from a company hired to find him, and when he passed at 68 after only 2 yrs of getting the pension my son-in-law dealt with them via email and the pension automatically was transferred to me, it does not seem right that some can do it and some don’t !
My husband was diagnosed in 2021 with Lymphoma and after lots of appointments and treatments of chemotherapy was told he was cured.
Last November a very small tumour was detected in his lung.
Radiotherapy in February 2024 and by April he had excruciating pain.
In August he was told he had incurable lung cancer and was admitted to a hospice in September for four weeks where I stayed with him.
We came home and I cared for him right until he died seven weeks later.
Those are the facts.
It’s been a horrible year.
I have been told I am suffering from trauma.
I am lost, alone (although I am told that my husband is with me ) by people who believe in that. It’s a comforting thought but unsure if that’s the reality.
Thank you for asking.
Yes Georgi, I thought so too. A little empathy would have been nice! And an explanation as why that’s the case. As a former pension adviser I know there’s only one answer to every pension question - ‘It depends’! I guess there was no spouses pension included, so the annuity just lapsed on death. It was a huge pension - £38 per year!
Amanda I think we all feel we are alone. I hate it when people say I’m not, I know people are there for me but it’s not the same as the one who knows you inside out. In my early days of grief I couldn’t feel my husband at all. I couldn’t remember anything about him and felt complete loss. Once the shock wore off I started to let my feelings through and now I feel him very much with me. That is what is helping me through. It certainly is a most horrid time.