Lizzy its funny since tues I have had a sore throat and feeling miserable & last couple of days no voice ( my husband would’ve said”yes peace for a while🤣) but saying that the milk is working and I am sleeping better, I think I might go back to bed cause whats the point in sitting in living room feeling miserable when I could be comfy in my bed watching tv xxx
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Debsie, if I could start them I would, but I’ve no idea how and then I know you have to mix the oil and sumthing else into them, I can’t even begin to look for the stuff or I would have got the guy that wanted to buy them to do it, maybe I should go out and look, they must be together. One is massive, way too heavy to lift. The Stihl one is smaller, no idea what the other ones are like, thick with sawdust. He was only after the good ones. Would be great to get the four of them away, I have no use for them and I’m just buying kindling, my hubby would be shocked at me doing that. His friend brought me a bag of kindling a while ago but since I seem to be invisible to them now, no calls, xmas card or anything now, no idea what I’ve done but so be it, don’t need folk like that in my life. He even told me he knows someone that would take a trailer away for me but now I don’t know if that’s happening. I was giving it away for free. I will give the guy a few more weeks then I will put it on gumtree or something to get rid of it. It’s an eyesore in the garden. I’ve no idea why my hubby wouldn’t sell it, my car didn’t have a tow bar on it and he got rid of his precious Landrover years ago. It will be gone by the end of January one way or the other . Hope you are feeling a bit better, I’m hoping the bit of sunshine will defrost the car, just looked in my fridge and everything is out of date, need milk and almost everything. I should have done an online shop yesterday but have left it too late. The roads will hopefully be ok, I’m only seeing my wee road which is an ice rink. Fingers crossed the car starts. Or if I’m even brave enough to drive. Take care xx
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Lizzie, they’re probably 2 stroke engines in those saws, and that requires very careful and accurate mixing of petrol and oil, or they just won’t start. Personally I’d leave them well alone, unless you are really confident. They’re such a dangerous tool if you get things wrong, they can take a leg or an arm off in seconds!
You hit the nail on the head when you said “His friend” - there’s many reasons why they cease to be “your” (plural) friends! Better off without them I’d say from experience.
Last weekend I made the dinner Mary was going to cook the day she went into hospital - 10 November. The ingredients were still in the fridge, peppers, onions etc. They were WAY out of the best before date - but the green and red were in perfect condition. The yellow (not required for the recipe) was well gone off! Don’t get that! And the crème fresh - use by date November 2024 - was also still perfect. In fact I had it on some fruit another 5 days later!
I always say that food doesn’t know its use by date! If it looks and tastes OK - it’s probably OK!
Get that stuff on Gumtree, or whatever and also take care out and about today!
Much love M xxx
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Georgi, quite right, stay in bed, my living room is so cosy with the coal on the fire all night. I’ve just looked at my bill for the month, I only use the gas to heat the house in the morning for a short while, my multi burner is heating me. The bill is a lot higher than last month. I have solar panels and they really help keep the bills down, again December was a really dull rainy month and dark most of the day. I only need a clear sky for the batteries to start charging, sunshine boosts it quicker. I’m not letting this government freeze me, I hate being cold. Take care xxx🤗
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Marnee, Yes! you are right, it is petrol and oil, I couldn’t remember what he mixed the oil with. Yes it’s outwith my comfort zone I will leave well alone. My sister just called me, the guy is coming at the weekend now to see the chainsaws. Now that I know what I’m looking for I will go looking for the chainsaw oil and petrol can so that the guy can try before he buys. I’m sure my husband used to take the oil out in winter for some reason, but didn’t happen this year. They are a hit and a miss these chainsaw things. I think that’s why he had four, he changed them around if he was cutting a lot of logs.
Glad you had a clear out as well, the thing that worries me is since I had chemo and lost my sense of taste and smell, it didn’t come fully back. I can taste some things like anything tomato based is good. Milk is a no no so I tend to throw it out if I’m not sure. I buy lactose free milk and that’s harder as the dates are always longer, my car is still trying to defrost in the bit of sun we have. Just hope it starts since I am geared up to drive to supermarket. It’s a necessity now. Wish me luck. Take care and happy cooking xxx
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Lizzy lately I have my heating on all day in this weather, I pay by direct debit a set amount monthly. I have been between £500 and £600 in credit for last year and half, I could take some of the credit out myself but I always feel well its like a back up for the winter months, currently it stands at £502 but we still have a lot of cold weather to come xxx
We had a multi fuel burner in our last house but rarely used it because it was too hot 
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Marnee I’m with you re dates on food, if it looks good, doesn’t smell bad I will use it, I’m sure most of the time those dates are there for supermarkets benefit making you buy more when you can use what you have!
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I feel exactly the same. I feel guilty for coping so well when others are all in tears! I cried for a long time over my dog but I can’t cry for my dear, lovely husband.
Like you, I’ve had to deal with so much paperwork, including all the bills which my husband always paid online. I didn’t learn because I thought he’d always be here!
I don’t think my heart is grieving yet because it still doesn’t seem real. I can’t help feeling he’s still around somewhere. My body knows though. I feel strange, not quite well. I’m losing weight and have to make myself eat.
We’ve just had Christmas, our wedding anniversary, New Year and a big birthday, none of which I was looking forward to, but I’m pleased to say I’ve survived! One day at a time x
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Meggie - my husband was like you. I tried to show him how to do the banking but he just didn’t want to know. He was convinced he would go first and he was right. It takes a while for the shock to wear off. I’m often convinced that I am coping fine then just break down into tears for no reason. We just have to go with it. Our minds will only allow in as much as we can bear.
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Lizzy, there’ll be two different types of oil. Chainsaw oil which is used to lubricate the chain itself, and that usually goes in through an oil plug on the side of the saw. Then there is 2-stroke oil which is the one that is mixed with petrol to get a ‘petroil’ mix, which goes in the fuel tank. Make sure you don’t mix these up or it will just not work! And could ruin the saw as well!
I lost my sense of smell due to having a Septoplasty (nasal) operation back in 2018. That completely did in my sense of smell, from bad to zero! Still have sense of taste though - thankfully.
Simple fish and chips tonight, Thai Green Curry tomorrow and Anchovy glazed salmon on Sunday - well that’s the current plan anyway.
Take care. M xxx
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2 stroke oil rings a bell. I will look for that, Or I might just let him take a chance and buy them. I’m sure they are all working. Thanks for all that info, my mind is muddled just now. I decided to jump on a bus to get to bank and get them to send money abroad to the lawyer, even they had difficulty so I didn’t feel so bad. Got 8 passport pictures as well, went for a coffee, picked up somthing for my dinner. Even got the documents printed I need to get to the next step of the lengthy process I have to do. On bus back home now and I didn’t cry when I passed the fields that my husbands ashes were scattered. I’m on a roll now. Take care and thanks again xx
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Meggie, I am so sorry your husband died. It just sucks and every one of us here knows exactly how it is.
Not all of us cry. I don’t know why I haven’t cried but once since my husband’s funeral. It could be that we were given a terminal diagnosis 2.5 years ago. My knees gave out and that day I started to grieve silently every day, lived in fear and dread and would check his breathing if he napped. We knew he could pass at any moment and those years were like walking a mine field. My husband had to take nitroglycerine 5 to 7 times a day to stop the chest pain from his damaged heart and the inoperable aneurysms. My anxiety was sky high but I hid it from him, only discussing my worries with my best girlfriends and their responses would be “we could be hit by a car this afternoon, we never know”. His physicians, who were my friends after I represented them in litigation 35 years ago, would not violate HIPPA and would only say “he is not well”. My mental response was to distance myself from it all and pretend all was well while inside I was a complete wreck and lived in denial.
Everyone says “you are doing so well” but they do not understand how I have been living the last few years.
I am not so foul this morning. Not great sleep, but enough, admittedly with the help of an excellent sleep aid which takes about 1/2 hour to work and gives me a full 4 hours of blissful rest.
In case y’all do not get news from the US, there are massive fires on the west coast.
The California southern coast in on fire. There are about 6 separate fires, one estimated to engulf 40 square miles. None are controlled yet as there is no water in the system. Seems the water supply was rationed to save the smelt fish which are not an endangered species. Environmentalists. I am all for saving the environment too, but smelt versus people? Thousands of homes, businesses, churches, etc. have been reduced to ash and 250,000 unburned homes, businesses, etc. are without electricity.
These cities are on the coast of the Pacific Ocean - but they have no water to fight the flames. Someone explain this to me.
Georgi, I am happy that the milk is helping.
Lizzy - I hope this guy takes all the chainsaws. Let him have a look around too, there may be other things he wants to buy. Counter offer the lawyer.
Marnee, it is nice to have a man in here to help us with things like oil/petrol. Your knowledge is so helpful. You are like an online husband and I know it is much appreciated. Thank you.
Cold and raining. Again. Today, I will tackle the pantry cat condo mess, sort some paperwork, let the robot vacuums earn their keep, change bedding, and move some things that are clogging the hallways to the downstairs man cave. With an extra pair of hands it would be a 5 minute chore. Without, it will take forever. Oh and retrieve the mail which I forgot yesterday. Also forgot to put the bins on the street for collection. These were 2 things my husband did for 25 years and now it is my job but I keep forgetting to read my job description and duties.
I hope I get fired.
Oh well, onward into the storm.
love
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Georgi, because I have just changed names on the account, I haven’t managed to build up credit yet, I did put and extra £100 in just in case I went over and just started getting the direct debit set up. We used to share all these bills, it’s tough now having to pay for everything. I’m just keeping a close eye on what I’m spending till things get a bit more settled. I know my husband withdrew about £500 before we went on holiday as the solar panels reduced our bills a lot. I wish though it was still in the account. If I even keep a buffer of £100 credit I will be happy. I think December January and February will be the three worst months for heating. Although I pay for coal, I feel I can heat the house freely without worrying about heating costs. As you said it stays very hot but I open the doors and it heats most of the house when it gets like that. Hope you enjoyed snuggling in your bed watching Tv this morning. I don’t have a Tv in the room, I have to get up lol. Take care xx
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Meggie thats exactly the best way to cope, one day at a time. i am so sorry for your loss, do eat though you must eat, you need to keep your strength up. You did the right thing joining this group, you will get lots of good advice and support from the lovely people on here, we are all in similar position but at different stages of this grief journey, I hope you find comfort here xxx
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Peaches, the fires are awful, it’s been on our Tv all week, I lost my house in a fire, lost everything, it’s tragic, even when people say at least you are all ok, they don’t realise how devastating it is. Our insurance paid for a hotel for us to stay in, but you have no clothes, no bank cards to get money , we got a breakfast in the hotel. One of my neighbours came round and handed me two packs of underwear and £50, honestly it was the most thoughtful gift I have ever had. The day of the fire my neighbours rallied round, bought pizza for the firemen, let us have a shower, the support as great, unlike the neighbours I have where I live now. The first fire crew had to be taken away in an ambulance because the roof came down on top of them, it was another day in my life I want to forget. I feel for all those people losing their homes. I have a friend in California, she was very close to the fires last year and keeps me posted about what’s going on. I have had to do bin duty now, my husband did that as well, I get a text now reminding me what bin has to go out. We have four colours of bins that go out in different days. Occasionally if they have got out of bed the wrong side, they think they are bin police, we have to put the right stuff in the right bin, if they see it’s not we get the dreaded sticker on it to get it sorted before they lift it. Honestly what difference is it to them! I accidentally dropped a carton of milk in the plastic bin today, I’m petite and almost fell in it trying to retrieve it back out today lol . Picture the scene xxx
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Oh God, Bins!
What’s the teenagers were home? I made it their job. But my daughter forgot or didn’t take it down just before Christmas and so now there’s a complete and utter mess out there. I asked my son to take it to the tip and he only took half of it and had to go on a second journey And I’m desperate for next Monday.
Bins is a man’s job. I’m all very feminist and everything but Bins is definitely for men! 
I spent another agonising day waiting for us to exchange contracts. And it’s very cold today and I’m sitting under a blanket. I’m also exhausted and struggling to concentrate on anything.
I feel quite stressed because there’s so much to do about the house, but I’m supposed to be going into work for a couple of hours every day next week we’re only allowed one moving day. Am I move? Is gonna take two days.
I wish I’ve taken a full six certificate of now and have done with it.
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Peaches I have been following the news about those fires, it’s just horrendous, I watch and it feels like I’m watching a disaster movie. Like you say how the hell do they run out of water, you have to feel for all the people who have lost their homes, just tragic xxx
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Hi, I honestly would go to your doctor and get a sick line, I’m not one for doing that lightly but there are times that you need to do that. Now is that time. You are going through a lot just now, give yourself that break. Any decent doctor would not hesitate giving you it, please do it. Take care xxx
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KtG speaking of bins I live in a 5 flatted building we have a communal bin in a binroom at back of building we also have a large recycling bin and a waste food bin, they all get emptied weekly but only the food bin was emptied last week.
The bin room I have not seen its so bad the bin is full up to the ceiling and the floor in front of it is now heading towards the roof with bin bags and a xmas tree🤬
I went online to the council site to be told they already know and are working on it.
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KtG moving is stressful enough without adding grieving into the mix, I wish you well for next week and hope it goes smoothly for you xxx
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