The workers are here to start prepping the house for paint.
Called Social Security and am waiting for a call back.
Found out the date I must show up for jury duty.
Slept 5.5 hours.
Missed garbage pick-up.
Still with intestinal issues.
Will start making new files in a minute, after I have enough coffee to face it.
When I get overwhelmed with the files, I will go to the paint store for colors.
Four things on the list. Surely a fifth will rear its head.
Much love.
Dont forget time to be kind to yourself just for one moment each day xx
Can you be excused Jury duty?? My stomach problems cleared in about 3 weeks. I find I can’t eat bread anymore. Never had a problem before. You take it easy, you have been doing far to much x
Ha! After talking to the accountant the the benefits manager, I napped. Despite electric saws buzzing, hammering, and banging, I slept 3 hours through it all.
I also slept through Hurricane Katrina, so. . .
Sleep - the ultimate avoidance. When you “just can’t”, check out and take a nap.
I will never get selected to serve as a juror, but none of the exceptions apply either. It isn’t until the 4th week of November. I have time.
Much love.
Mbg - you may have developed an allergy to gluten. Don’t eat anything made with flour and see if things clear up.
The BEST part of my week thus far is the new hemorrhoid and the cream that smells fantastic to dogs. I thought it was love, but it’s the Preparation H.
Much love.
Bread has not been my friend. I can eat sourdough bread. Glad to hear the cream makes you irresistible 
Hmm. Thought I would go to pick up the cremains and DCs today, but chickened out.
Instead, the workers arrived and the banging began, the plumbers came and fixed the running toilets.
My second cousin came and WOW! My husband’s leather bomber jacket fit him perfectly! He and his son also took some shoes, winter gloves and duffle bags.
Then my cousin from the other side came and took 5 big bags of shirts, undershirts, pants and shoes which will go to North Carolina via his church this weekend. For those who do not know, North Carolina is a state in the mountains of the eastern US and was hit with a devastating flash flood which erased whole villages and towns as well as cutting off larger towns with the collapse of bridges and roads, estimates are 500 dead and 10’s of thousands without homes.
I think my husband would approve.
My cousin will return in 2 weeks when the church makes its next trip up. I’ll be bagging clothes. Can’t think of a better reason to let it all go. Men there have only the clothes that were on their backs when the water came.
I’ll also be getting bags from my closet Nothing like a natural disaster to make you want to let go of things to give to others in need.
My cousins rolled a dresser to the curb. I thought it was very moldy, but it isn’t. I hope someone grabs it before it rains.
Files coming along, slowly but surely. Feeling good about the decisions made thus far.
Now back to the file cabinet. Ick.
Much love.
You are making a lot of progress.
I sent a lot of stuff to a day centre. More to the charity shop I used to work at.
Still plenty to dispose of but replacement hip operation last week has stalled my progress for a while.
Xx
Oh Willow! So sorry about that hip!
It was not just a coincidence that my cousin came to pick up things for my 97 year old aunt and mentioned his church’s bi-weekly mission. These were all clothes I had stacked for a thrift shop. I didn’t have to carry it downstairs. Angels work in mysterious ways.
Much love.
Very proud of myself. I took a bath. I wash and styled my hair. I went to the bank, the pet food store and the grocery store.
That is it. 90 minutes out in public and It exhausted me. I couldn’t wait to get home.
The only good news is that the workers are doing an excellent job and require no supervision by me. They have been here before and I am sure they were curious as to why I wasn’t running lemonades and iced teas to them until they found out that my husband died.
But, I can barely do for myself. Making pitchers of cool drinks is just too much ATM.
Found yet more old paperwork that needs shredding. Endless.
I feel buried in an avalanche of things that need my attention and I have little to spare.
I hate everything about widowhood. Mostly, I hate having to create yet another life for myself - alone.
I hope our tomorrow is better than our today.
Much love.
R was a hoarder!! I am completely overwhelmed by “stuff”
You have managed so much, be kind to yourself. Your post have mirrored my own feelings and I am sending you a huge hug , I know how hard it is and hope the support here gives us both strength xx
Mbg - all I can say is I am sorry. This is the second week that I am de-hoarding my husband’s office and it seems never-ending.
Just pick up 5 things that are certainly trash and toss them. Then go back for 5 more. Take rests in between if you must. You will get there.
Lost - I am sorry for you too. This is just an awful place to be. I want my brain back.
Much love.
My brain has deserted me. I have always been quick and decisive. I am just shocked at the amount of expensive things he had squirreled away. Clothes and shoes are ridiculous. I am taking a break from it. I am going to decorate a bedroom. You take care x
It seems we were all married to hoarders, it is going to take me months to sort all of this out, I knew this year’s ago but the reality of being left with it to deal with is daunting, the plan is one cupboard a week, this week if was a cupboard full of niff naf and bits and pieces, broken watches, keyrings from those drop machines in arcades, the gifts from Christmas crackers… Yes you read that right, she kept the gifts from crackers and amongst all of that nothing I found that she had kept my dog tags from the navy after I had thrown them out years ago, and I was crying again, everything of theirs you go through might seem silly to you but for them it had meaning and for me it feels like I am taking that meaning and discarding it, I soldier on and carry on sorting and bit by bit, pieces of her life, her meaning are disappearing from where they were in the house, I understand why people leave things, not because they are avoiding it, but because removing those things is the last step in their removal from your life. I am going to admit something now, I found a photo of us today that almost killed me, it was a picture that captured everything that my wife was, it was so powerful that my chest crumpled, I collapsed crying and asked to die and in that moment if I had died I could of happily gone, but I didn’t, I am still here and must soldier on and live as I can, sorting through her life and memories.
The feeling of despair and total anguish are so powerful. Everytime I cry, one of my dogs gets so distressed. I miss him so much. I didn’t think anything could hurt this deeply. Today i cried when I was looking at his whatsapp. I saw the last videos and pictures i had sent him of our grandson. This lovely little boy will never know this kind, gentle and funny man.
Sent at least 45 pullover shirts with collars to flood victims. There are more. I got it.
Much love.
I have sorted jackets and warm clothing. Bags of socks, gloves and boots. They are all going to the homeless. Plus all his unopened toiletries. The designer stuff my son will put on vinted. I can donate the proceeds to the Christmas food fund for the homeless. There will be some very smartly dressed men in Cardiff x
Picked up my husband’s cremains and DCs. My SIL drove me there from her house. I feel so sorry for her, my husband is all she had left of her family. It is heartbreaking. My heart hurts for her.
It wasn’t awful, probably because I have received cremains before, so I wasn’t surprised or shocked.
It is all the widow stuff I did today. Done. 90 minutes out of my house and I couldn’t wait to get home. Left the house and walked the dog for a hour and a half in the neighborhood. Completely spaced out.
Giving myself a point for driving to my SIL’s house which is the farthest I have driven in 5 weeks and for only misjudging 2 curbs with the back tires of my husband’s giant SUV.
My dog is super charged, even after a long walk and a big meal. One of us needs a nerve pill. I volunteer.
Much love.
Mbg - my husband’s closet looks like a expensive men’s clothing store with cedar flooring and a 7 foot tall wall of shoes. It can wait. The attic and the office first. The sanitation workers must be tired of me and my bins.
Every room and cabinet is getting the purge treatment as I ramble around the empty house.
Much love.