Two weeks of widowhood.

Nigel you are putting us all to shame here, I don’t think I’ve sat at the table since my husband died. Another lovely meal. He always sat at the table with a small glass of wine, he loved his wine, I enjoy a glass as well but not drank much since he died. He was in a wine club, had to cancel it, I couldn’t afford to keep getting it. I used to moan that he drank a wine and loved a whisky at night. I wish I hadn’t done that now, I look at his nice wine and whisky in the cupboard and it makes me sad. :tumbler_glass::wine_glass::heart: xxx

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Oh Lizzy, my husband too
We loved drinking wine together. But he had a Tantalus which I bought him for our first Christmas.
He always bought very expensive whiskey and brandy to put in each of those counters. I have to confess when I was a little drunk with my friends at the weekend I did have some of the whiskey and he would be furious because I mixed some ginger ale with it.
I need some new knives new throwing them away because you’ve got hundreds!
Do you have to dispose of knives in a special way?
There is a cat circus going on around me tonight. Everyone’s home and everyone wants my attention 100%. If ever I needed some teenagers, now would be the time and then each cat could have a human and the war would end.

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I guess it depends how much you like soup. Mary loved soup and her soup maker and I was sort of ok with soup. I’d rather have a meal. They make quite a bit so we always froze several portion for later. So horses for courses I think. Im not saying don’t get one but they are quite expensive so the cost needs justifying.

Do you know anyone who has one you could see in action? Or maybe there’s videos on YouTube etc?

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Good omelette making is an art Debsie, one I guess you have. I’d never turn down a nice omelette and did one last week myself.

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I’m sure you’ll get back to cooking Lizzy - in time. We’re all different and there’s things I’m not doing yet that others are.

Sleep well. Nigel xxx

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That wine - on my kitchen island - was Nosecco. An alcohol free Prosecco from Sainsbury’s - just £3:50 a bottle. The rose is good but the white is a bit sweet for me. I took some rose to a friend’s house last week and she’s hooked on it. Her husband not so much. I’ve put ginger ale or ginger wine in a single malt before now but tonight it’s a Talisker with plain water!

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KtG, we both loved a nice red wine, he liked most whiskies, but I always got him a special one for Christmas, he loved Glenfarclas with a splash of water only in it. I bought him a whisky tasting at a Distillery a few years ago, I’m not a big fan of whisky, I thought it would be small sips walking about the distillery but we sat at a table with about 8 small whisky glasses in front of us. As I said I’m not keen on it, didn’t like the first one but the man told me how to drink it with a tiny drop of water in it, no, still didn’t like it. By the fifth one it was my fav drink, the last one made me buy the one I thought was the nicest one, don’t remember walking back to the hotel, lost a half a day, conked out. Needless to say I’m not a fan again. I prefer brandy. In fact I might just have a small one to help me sleep tonight. Xxx

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:rofl: :rofl: I can just see the after effects of those whiskies Lizzie!

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Nigel that was another favourite of my husbands, he loved a nice malt. I can picture him just now sitting on his chair savouring his whisky . :tumbler_glass: Enjoy xxx

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I bet that was delicious xx

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It was really nice Georgi.

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Morning all, I think it’s going to be a long day today guys! Been awake since 3.30, so just 4 hours fitful sleep, and I have my granddaughter to take to school at 8.00. So I can’t now go back to sleep, or even try. So many things going round in my head, things to do urgently, people to phone, which I’m finding hard because I’m crying in the calls I’m making. The sale of Mary’s car seems to be dragging on, and dealing with the financial side is stressful, as I need to deal with her things to make sure I’ve done the job of executor correctly. It’s quite a job deciding what Mary owns or what is mine/jointly owned! Time to do a “Peaches” list! Nothing booked in the diary for today, so maybe try to tick just a few off where I can.

I’ll be glad to get away, as there’s not so much to do there (other than the massive shower room job) - Mary tended to take her things there and back each time, so mainly her sewing stuff to pack and bring back to the pig sty! That’s getting me down too, so will try to clear the dining room, take pictures of her sewing machines here, and then I can at least box them up, and stack them tidily.

One good thing is that it seems the pensions are now all in place, even if there are some niggly bits to do.

Hope you all had a good night, and have a good day.

Much love to all. Nigel xxx

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Well, I think for a first, I have had 8 hours of sleep. I have got in the habit of falling asleep at about midnight, waking at 5am and then if lucky getting back to sleep till about 7am. Today I went back asleep again till 8.30. Its wonderful. Feel properly rested. Sorry Nigel I know only too well how you must be feeling. Keep away from bedtime drinks as when the alcohol wears off you are wide awake. I too can’t sleep when I have lots to do. What I have is a notebook by my bed. I write in there what I need to do or remember and it seems to get it out of my head. You could try that.

I am going out with some friends tonight. I was invited yesterday and I really wanted to say no. I just want to sit in front of the telly at night. Grief is exhausting and I run out of energy by evening. But I am forcing myself. And it really does need force. Had a bad stomach yesterday and was hoping that would be my excuse today. They are nice women I have known between 20 and 45 years. Still don’t want to go.

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Not me Debsie, I do basic cooking as I had too not because I enjoy, in later yrs when he cut his hrs my husband did most of the cooking, he was a much better cook than me and he enjoyed it, I dont, he also liked planning a meal and going shopping for the ingredients xx

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Morning Nigel, I did an all nighter last night, I couldn’t sleep at all, I read a whole book, my mind was going ten to the dozen, too much still to do. I think I was starting to doze about 8 am when I heard my phone buzzing. It was my grandson calling to see if I’m ok, I think he is the reason I get up every morning, he is such a caring boy. My head is not in a good place today, having tea and toast, I need my head back together, lots to do. Log splitter getting picked up today, need to go to the man cave and give it a clean. Need to finish the small cupboard in hall and get it painted. My next fault today is water coming from my towel rail in bathroom, honestly. I don’t really know how to bleed that type of radiator, think I will pass that prob to my son in law. He is coming over to make sure the log splitter sale goes through. Maybe I could quickly ask him how I fix the radiator.

Debsie, I’m envious of your 8 hour sleep, maybe I will have a nap later. I’m so pleased you are pushing yourself to go out with your friends, I will be thinking about you when I’m painting that horrible louvre door, I m glad I did the big one yesterday, they are soul destroying. I just kept telling myself I will never have to paint this door ever again. I am the opposite of you, the only way I can cope with this grief is to get out the house, meeting friends for me is a tonic, I hope it eventually helps you. If I’m not doing that I’m working like crazy in this house. Gosh by the time I am able to sell it, it will need painted again. Anyway, you have a lovely time today even though you don’t want to go, at least you are doing it. Go for it! Take care :hugs::hugs::hugs:

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Thats great Debsie the world looks a better place and its easier to cope when you have a good sleep xxx

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Nigel its a nightmare when you don’t sleep well, everything is exaggerated a seem much worse than they are, take a breath and on days like this just do the basics and rest today, tomorrow is another day xxx

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Debsie, only a single Talisker, which I thought would help me sleep - doesn’t seem so. I should do that with a notebook - I’ve loads that Mary had as she was an avid list writer! If you recall you all encouraged me to go to the show recently. so maybe now is the time for you to go out with your friends? If you don’t, you’ll be saying no next time too. I really hope you enjoy the time out - I now do think it’s good to do things like this.

I’m going out with my son’s father in law and some of his friends to a local micro pub tomorrow - one of whom is a widower too. That’ll be the first I’ve met face to face! I’ve also got a lunch on Friday with one of our oldest friends - and another of Mary’s bosses at BT. Their house is like a show house and Mary always dreaded them coming here - even though it was spic and span when they came. So we’re meeting in the restaurant she and Mary always went to with her friends - Cote Brasserie, not too far away. They couldn’t make the funeral so this will be first contact since Mary died. Another two ‘firsts’ this week then.

Georgi, Mary was what she would also call a ‘basic’ cooker, and left much to me when I retired. I did like shopping for the stuff, but was in a bit of a dream getting the beef this morning, so bought some Penguins to cheer myself up a bit!

Unfortunately I can’t really rest much today - I’ve still that awful tax return to finish and grandchildren to pick up this afternoon.

Lizzy, I haven’t had an all nighter yet, that must be awful. I’m not a reader so would have been on my iPad - even worse for stopping us sleep of course. You certainly have a lovely grandson - just like mine next door and one particular granddaughter a couple of miles away - always checking up on me, giving me HUGE hugs and telling me they love me! Ah bless them!

I hope the guy turns up for your log splitter. They’re very heavy aren’t they?

If you have a leak on the bathroom radiator, bleeding won’t necessarily help that, as all that does it let air out and more water in. Sounds like it needs looking at and if your son in law is into plumbing he’ll hopefully by able to fix it for you. My family next door have had almost every radiator in the house leak this year, thank goodness the new system is now going in as we had to remove and shut off most of them due to the leaks. The painting will be done soon, and you can then stand back and admire your handywork! I’ve several photos of Mary decorating - roller in one hand and a glass of rose wine in the other. Probably 50% of the photos we used at the wake showed her with one in her hand or on the table in front of her!

So a couple of cups of coffee to keep me awake, and it’s now the Crispy Chilli Beef tonight! And an early night!

Have a good day, evening and sleep everyone. Nigel xxx

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Nigel Marnee Penguins- they’ll take longer than the beef :joy::joy:

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Nigel, Took 5 bags to the dump, 4 from the man cave. Log splitter gone. I dumped all his fishing reels and said sorry to him. He would be horrified at what I’m doing. All the roads are closed here at night for resurfacing, not that I go out at night, but wonder how I would escape if I wanted to…They have diversion signs up, dread to think where they are going, probably one track roads. Sitting having a coffee before I start painting again. Don’t think I will manage much more today as my head too fuzzy with tiredness. Will sit and look for wallpaper for my small room at back of house. It’s needing a lot of work, I had planned on starting that room before all this trauma started, it will be the last room I do. Son in law getting a new washer for towel radiator in bathroom, he tightened it after I spent an hour looking for spanner’s, bingo! found them all in a big toolbox. Will be putting some of them in my “Lizzy toolbox”. Hope our coffee keeps us awake xxx

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