Georgi can I swap you, I prefer painting, I can’t say I’m brilliant at papering. Mind you I’m in an old house and the walls are awful, we were getting them plastered one at a time but this small room was the last one and I’m not spending the money on it. I will have to make do , I dread to think when I get round to papering it.
One of the light bulbs in my kitchen just popped, it’s one of those spot light ones, I will need to google how to change a light bulb lol. That’s another thing on my list now, but my phone is fixed and my radiator sorted. Wonder what it will be tomorrow? Off to bed, hopefully to sleep. Night night xxx
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I am on my own in a large detached 6 bedroom house. I have no intention of staying. I want a managable little house. It is bloody freezing, the cost to heat this house is horrific. We lived here for over 25 years and I feel no attachment to it. It has just been a high maintenance, expensive project. We never had the time to enjoy it. Richard was 61, he left far to soon. I will always miss him. My memories will be with me, wherever I live . Hugs
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Mbg, that’s a large house, I’m sure you would love a smaller house. We downsized when we got married almost 12 years ago but it’s taken all those years to get it to where we liked it. It’s only a two bed semi bungalow but I’m going to struggle to get a house when I move. I live rural and house prices are a lot lower than where I want to move to. They sell quickly but houses are selling within a week where I want to live. It will be interesting to see what happens when the time comes. Our lives will never be the same again and when I leave this town I will never return to it. New house, new chapter in my life, I have my memories, I sometimes get angry that he has left me too soon. We were both 70. My mum died at that age as well, maybe I will be happier when I turn 71 next month. You will move when you are ready, I always told my husband that I would never stay here if anything happened to him. We don’t know how long we have left, I am ready to move on now. Take care xxxx
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Mbg - we all totally understand the pain that you are feeling. My husband was 59 and died last March.
I have just moved and thought I had cleared out before we moved 
Oh my!!! Here I go again…
My cats came back yesterday and they have spent last night fighting over who was going to sit where on my bed. We used to have a rule that there were no cats on beds but the kids broke the rules and now the kids aren’t at home the cats still want to be with somebody and will howl at the door for hours. I gave in…
The handyman came round today. It’s funny how we find happiness in the moments. And I look really hard for those moments at present. He put three hooks up in the bathroom for three towels. They look beautiful. He put a catflap in the back door and mended the plug hole. He and I wrestled with the filtered water system under the sink and discovered that you can’t reach the stock cock in the house because they put it behind a panel in the bathroom downstairs.
The water softener man came round. He was good fun! And as everything else in this house, somebody’s done a Heath Robinson on it but with no intention of returning to it again.
I filled in 3 forms linked to utilities and made two phone calls. I had a lovely email from my landlords thanking me for leaving the place spotless. Now my main worry is where the deposit is supposed to be going back to cause if it’s my husband’s account I’m gonna go mad. Especially as the original deposit was always from me.
I rang my mother-in-law last night and spent half an hour getting her with stories of different bits of the house that had fallen off and narrowly missed hitting me on the head.
Peaches, I’m thinking of you. I think you’re five hours behind and will probably be in the courtroom as I write this.
Sending love to all let’s hope for better nights sleep. What was the book which took the whole night last night? Is there a recommendation?
Kt xxx
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I hope you settle into your new home and can enjoy it. I have 4 dogs who follow me everywhere! They wouldn’t settle at night and now they have half of my bed. I am not keen on sharing. They love it. Hugs everyone x
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Goodnight Lizzy I hope you sleep well tonight xx
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Georgi, I call a turnip a turnip. I like “neeps” much better, it is so cute sounding.
Marnee. that is why all items should be listed as yours and not go into the estate. Don’t you remember being a seamstress and a cross dresser? Lizzy was a lumberjack with 4 chain saws.
Mbg, I know you are dreading the start, but put on some great music and dance and sing while you work. Give it a a good hour and quit. Later on, give it another hour.
There are days when I do one thing each hour and just sit like a lump in between. I still haven’t wrapped my head around the idea that my husband is gone. It is 18 weeks today and I miss him terribly. I thank the Good Lord that my husband is now pain free and whole again, he suffered for so long, but I mostly wish he were here and healed - selfish me. We didn’t get enough time together, but we had a great time together. What a life!
Today was the day! I got showered, dressed with make-up and hair done, organized the paperwork, the last witness came and signed, made all the copies, fed the pets and scampered over the Mississippi River to the courthouse. Caught a draw bridge and encountered the least pleasant civil service employees of the year.
But, it is filed, the judge will sign it in the morning and they will mail the certified copies to me. DONE!
Huge. Just. Huge. So flipping proud of myself for functioning enough to get this nightmare completed.
Bought a faucet. The style suits the kitchen. DONE!
I broke the ball shooter. I don’t know how. Ordering another.
Sink and dentist tomorrow! Everything is going to be shiny white!
All in all, a good day. Looks like a freezer meal tonight. Yummy!
Much love.
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Well done Peaches you have done really well, finally it is sorted ! You must be over the moon !
You will either sleep well tonight or lie awake thinking of all you’ve been through to get to this point, really pleased for you xxx
Not heard of neeps being cute before, but I do love them,” haggis, neeps and tatties” I eat that all year round not just for Rabbie Burns birthday!
You will sleep well tonight Peaches I’m sure of that, take care xxx
Its now 12.30 here I should try and get to sleep, goodnight xxx
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Georgi, I keep going into the kitchen to gaze into the beautifully organized kitchen drawers. Yes, it feels good to have completed this ginormous task of legal work. I was avoiding it for so long, procrastinating. It took me 18 weeks! Feeling relieved of that burden which has been on my shoulders.
I hope you all sleep well tonight and wake rested to sunshine and blue skies.
Feeling a bit upbeat tonight. Almost. . . happy. Perhaps pleased is a better word.
Amazing what accomplishing an enormous task can do for one’s spirit. Onward.
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Hi, sorry for your loss I know how you feel and having someone who loves you for you after having years of your life being told you nothing to the having a lovely person who thinks the world of you and tells you how great you are and should not listen to those people who puts you down has it not true. 3 weeks I lost my husband unexpectedly, we didn’t even know he was seriously ill just thought he had a bug what was going around.
He was my rock and my everything. It’s just me and my daughter and her bf but I’m still by myself as some day my daughter will have to get on with her life. I don’t want her to put her life on hold but at the same time I’m grateful to have the company at the moment, plus we both finding it really hard and finding it hard to believe it happened. He was only in his mid 50s too young to go. I’m in my mid 40s so feel like i have ages and I really don’t want to carry on with out him. I just want to die. 2025 been awful and I just want to go back to the days he was still alive and with us.
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Peaches, I was thinking about you yesterday, I had to go to bed not knowing how it went. I had 6 hours sleep and it was lovely reading this morning it went well, I am so pleased for you, what an achievement . I would be dancing on the table if it was me. Well done 
. I wish I could say I’m waking up to sunshine but I’m afraid not, raining and windy. My music will be blasting from Alexa while I am steaming the wallpaper off today. That’s my goal for today, then will do another dump run, getting to know the moaning men that work in the place. I drove in and all the barriers to the machines were closed. I had to ask them if they were opening them up anytime soon, they huffed and puffed and said “oh I suppose so, we have been closed because we are short staffed”. Honestly what a cushy number they have, I felt like telling them I will press the button for them if it’s too much bother, go back in their cabin and watch tv. No doubt I will see them today, maybe I will take them some biscuits, sweeten them up, I thought they were going to offer to help me, but no they just stood and watched me. I will need to take something out the freezer for dinner tonight, I was wondering if I should sell my freezer, it’s only 6 months old but is an extra one and it’s in the garage man cave. I probable won’t have room for it if I don’t have a garage. Will think about that one later. It’s full of homemade lasagne dinners. Feel a lot better knowing I’ve actually had a good sleep for once. I hope we all have a good day, hugs to all 
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Ktg, I’m so pleased that you got help to sort out a few things, depending on how bad this room is when I strip the paper off, I might need to get it plastered, although I can’t afford to spend any more on it.
Oh you don’t really want to know the books I read, I only read happy books that bore me to sleep lol, “A new arrival at Duck Pond Cottage” this one didn’t put me to sleep that night but it was boring but I kept reading it. It’s about an animal rescue centre and of course romance with the local vet.
Time to get up and start steaming, this room is going to give me a lot of problems, will do one thing at a time. Take care
Xxxxx
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Peaches what a weight off your shoulders. I hope you sleep well. I know I wouldn’t because I would be thinking of all the things that I might of done wrong, or if they lose it etc etc. Its what I do. You are going to miss that worry.
Lizzy I am glad you slept last night. I envy you having lots to keep you busy. I need to get something else in my life, besides worrying about a loo seat. I’m reading a book that I’m loving too much. Reading one more chapter when I should be going to sleep.
Met my friends last night. It was nice. I did struggle however. Lots of talks about holidays. They all agree how lovely Italy is. Where I have always wanted to go, and where we planned to go this year now David had had his heart op. I just kept quiet. My future, my dreams are gone. Would not want to go alone, would not want to go with someone else. Miss him. Why does your heart not believe your head. Its still searching for him, still waiting for him.
Ktg, I wish you well in your bodged house. You deserve some happiness. Again I am envious of your purpose. I am just drifting. I have no plans, no idea what I want to do.
Sun is shining though. Everywhere is so wet and flood alert again. Will walk into town. My life is so boring now.
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Lizzy sell the extra freezer.
You don’t need it, it won’t fit where you are going and while it is new and working, sell it!
I am so much calmer now that the succession has been filed. Such a huge step. Still much to do, but now I have proper authority to do it all. While the plumbers are installing the sink, I will be getting ready for the CPA, the next huge step.
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Angel, sorry you got pulled into this miserable club. I thought I had been dealt a bad card with my husband only being 66 but so many on here were younger. They say people are living longer, hard to believe if you look on here. His was unexpected, he did everything right, ate well, exercised not overweight didn’t smoke, still died young. He only got 4 months of pension. The government are rubbing their hands together.
I was with friends last night talking about nails and eyebrows and waxing. I have never been into all that. My husband was always telling me how beautiful I am. I most certainly am not but he really seemed to believe that. Made me feel so special.
3 weeks is still so early. So much to do. I have no idea where the last 16 weeks have gone. I have survived that long and so will you.
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Angel I am so sorry that your husband died, it’s still very raw for you, I felt exactly the same as you at this stage, I was numb. I don’t have anyone near me, the only way I coped was to get out the house, I jumped on a bus as I couldn’t drive, no concentration and cried, I still do, went for a coffee on my own, I know that’s sad but I don’t have family or friends that live near me. You just have to push yourself, staying in all day was just awful for me, it’s such a long day even though you have loads of stuff to deal with. Keep posting on here, we are all still grieving but we help each other get through each day, don’t think too far ahead, one day at a time. You will get through this, we have to but it’s not easy, no one tells you about the pain you go through. Sending hugs
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Debsie, I’m so glad you went to see your friends but oh! The holiday talk is painful. I don’t think they realise that you can’t take part in this conversation but hopefully one day we will. I spent 2 months a year in Turkey, what on earth am I going to do now, I can’t afford to go away for that time ever again, it’s makes me sad thinking about it. I know I’ve had loads of friends saying I can come and stay with them in Turkey, but it won’t be the same, we had our little routine, mostly sitting people watching watching the world go by with a glass of wine watching the sea. My husband was very sociable, it didn’t take long before someone joined our table, we have made great friends over there by just chatting. I’m not sure I could do that on my own. Let’s think positive, maybe one day we will go on holiday again, don’t know where or when but we will do it. Sending hugs
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Debsie, thank you, yeah my husband sounds just like yours he would always tell me how beautiful I was and I am not into girlie stuff like make up and nails and stuff. But I don’t feel beautiful but he always said I was so to me that all what mattered. I haven’t got anyone apart from my daughter but she’s in her young 20s and she’s finding it hard but at his bedside she promised him she will carry on and live her life as best as she could coz she knows that what he would of wanted. He always made sure she follow her dreams and told her to carry on in hard times.
He never drank or smoked, but we wasn’t eating the greatest so when he got ill he was like we going to get healthy like eating wise and getting back into walking. Just eating healthy now with the cost of living is not so easy and I never liked my cooking so he would always make me something as I always found his food on his plate tasted better.
Yeah we don’t drive and we depended on the buses.
I can’t even bear to be in the house it’s so quiet luckily at the moment my daughter is with me but I am dreading the day she says she got to go back to work and finish off uni at the moment they letting her have time off, and I don’t want her to put her life on hold for me and I know that not what her dad would want her to do for to long. But it’s so hard to just be by myself and not having my husband around anymore to talk to and to get a hug. But going out helps break up the day.
When they turned off the machines and he passed I stayed with him for hours they had to kick me out well not kick me out they came in coz they was worried about me seeing him like it, my daughter stayed for abit but she had to go into the waiting room it was getting abit to much. Her bf was coming to see me when I was leaving the room and I told her to go in and say goodbye before they wash and clean him up and I couldn’t even leave the waiting room so after they finished the nurse obviously got told we was still there came out to talk me and said that he was getting taken care of and not to worry and that I would be able to see him again tomorrow all cleaned up but in what ever they call it and that I should go home and have a cuppa and get warm. But of course the next day when my daughter bf called the hospital they said they fully booked and to call on the Monday but it was again fully booked and then Tuesday they had to do the thing where they open the body to find out stuff and Wednesday when we called we could of gone in to see him but they got the call that it probably be best we didn’t see him coz he didn’t look like he use to and it be more stressful for us to see him like it. So I never got to see him again but I told him I would and the next time I will, be when they give me his ashes. I know it was just a dead body but to me that was and is my hubby and I know he would of been watching over me telling me Im here and to go home but I was finding it hard to say goodbye knowing that might be my last time I get to hold his hand.
Sorry for the long post and for it not making sense, I have dyslexia so might have mistakes and it might not make sense.
I know exactly how you and everyone else feels, I feel when you not in this situation you can’t grasp it like you know it must be awful but the pain and the loneliness is just on another level I feel you can’t ever explain to people how it feels if that make sense.
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PS sorry didn’t know it was that long so cut some parts out to make it shorter 
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Lizzy, thank you and sorry for your loss,
I have wrote some stuff in the other post for you but forgot what your name was sorry.
But yeah we depend on the buses as we didn’t drive and no that’s not sad at all having a drink by yourself. Hubby and I would go on hot chocolate dates when we could.
Every time go out it reminds me of stuff we use to do and we had so many plans and something always pop up but we thought there was always tomorrow or next month.
I sometimes watch other people and think how lucky they are to still have someone and then feel bad for thinking it. Coz it makes me feel or makes me think that was once my hubby and me.
It was my birthday the other day and that was really hard but my daughter made it special and we got out of the house and she also surprised me with a card and chocolates from hubby she tried her best to do his handwriting my name on the card so it looked like him giving me a card I was sooo touched and it would of been what he would of wanted to tell me if he could send me a card from where he is. I do belive in the afterlife
I’m glad there is a place to talk to others who are going through or know how it feels
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