You too Lizzy - hope you find some (still useable) filler! I’ve done most of the return - it’s just one bit I’ve never done before - losses on some investments - and that could mean a rebate so I will do it today!
Nigel xxx
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Nigel, oh that’s awful, so sorry to hear you had more losses in the family xx
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Nigel hope you finished the last bit of the tax return, they don’t make it easy for you.
I found this decorating filler, it might fill in a few holes till my filler arrives. Honestly they don’t make these tubes easy, I cannot figure out how to get it moving up the tube with the gun, I don’t have the strength in my hands but I found a way. I have extra strong piping bags for my cakes, I emptied some of the stuff into it and bingo, it worked. Where there’s a will there’s a way. I don’t think I will be doing much today I’m too tired. It’s way too cold to be in the man cave, I had to come in. Hope you are ok now. Take care xxx
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Thank you Lizzy, I’m just finishing the investment losses section then I think I’m done - a bit near the cut off point of tomorrow - but it will be done.
Mary would have struggled with the filler guns too, so well done in finding an answer, and I agree, it’s really cold here today but bright sunny weather as well. I hope it’s a filler that sets hard if it’s going on the wall rather than gaps around the edges?
I’m in a much better place now. I took on board what everyone had said about going to the grave, and have just been once since last Saturday. I don’t feel guilty now either, so a real result with thanks to everyone for the support. I’m glad I did go briefly yesterday, as the vase with the flowers was all over the place yet again, and some real flowers put there by a friend were looking decidedly droopy! I’ll go again at the weekend and then probably once next week before I go away.
I’ve dinner out with one of Mary’s favourite cousins tonight - he’s been a great support since Mary died. I’m certain he’s grieving still too, so it will be good to catch up.
Have a good day, and take care. Nigel xxx
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Nigel - how did your night out go? I hope you all behaved yourselves.
Just got back from a 6+mile walk. The sun was shining I didn’t want to waste it. Hopefully it will help me sleep tonight. Just seen that The Who are going to play at the Royal Albert Hall. How my husband would have loved to see them there. Saw them at Sandringham 18 months ago. One of the best gigs we have ever seen and I have great memories of that day. How I wish I could go with him to see them again.
Lizzie good luck on the decorating. My husband was so good at it and I am so bad. You have been doing an awful lot, you need to pace yourself. As you said it will be quite a while until you can sell. My husband was also looking so well. We went for a walk and he was wearing his new coat that I had bought him for his birthday, and his sunglasses that he always wore and I was thinking how very hansome he was, and how lucky I was. He had lost a bit of weight too and it suited him. He had had his share of women making a play for him, but he was strictly a one woman man. He had very old fashioned values.
I think I might takes Angels suggestion and rewatch Afterlife. It was a fantastic series and now that I know exactly how he feels it will probably make me cry even more. Sometimes that is just what I want to do, sit and have a good cry.
Take care everyone.
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Nigel, well done for finishing the tax form, another thing off the tick list. The filler was to even up some of the plaster on the wall, I hope it hardens by tomorrow, I still need the finishing filler for the bigger areas. I make celebration cakes so it was quite enjoyable and easy to get it on the walls. I can’t do much more till the wall dries, I’m going to prep the woodwork ready to paint.
I hope you have a lovely time tonight, make sure you have the tissues in your pocket. (Just in case) take care xxx
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Debsie, I’m very impressed with your walk, I would need to stop for a few coffees if I was with you but well done. It was sunny here earlier but I don’t think the rain is far off.
Hopefully you will sleep tonight, it’s hard when our bodies are getting used to this waking up far too early. I thought I would have slept better last night but I still woke up early. Pacing myself today, stripping the wall took its toll on me yesterday. Coffee and biscuits just now xxxx
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Hi Debsie, It was a good evening thank you - and yes we all behaved!
Oh, The Who! We had tickets to see them but the show was cancelled due to Covid - so I don’t care what they cost I’m going!!! Even on my own if I have to, and something to look forward to! I see it’s in aid of the Teenage Cancer Trust so a good cause too. I have a feeling they were around £300 last time! We had something booked for every month of a two year period covering both our 70th birthdays, and have had many more since then. Al Stewart is booked for October at the London Palladium I think.
Enjoy the rest of the day. Nigel xxx
Lizzy - IT’S DONE!!! Yeah, and a refund as well!
He’s been a really true friend, so yes I’m going to enjoy the meal tonight, but will have the hankies available just in case. Didn’t need them last night despite mentioning Mary a few times. Progress.
Did I say that they’re coming for Mary’s car tomorrow morning (all being well), so that’ll be another box to tick. And lunch with one of her ex-bosses too. That might just get weepy, as it’s in one of her favourite restaurants. Have a good day, Nigel xxx
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Good morning Darlings, I see you have all been busy, busy, busy chit chatting all night (my night). We have a lovely day here, sunshine and blue skies.
The CPA comes today! The house look like a hurricane came inside, but perhaps I can clear off a spot to spread out documents. I’ll surely try.
Angel, I don’t want to sound harsh, but I am always honest. I am very sorry that your husband died from liver failure. I am very sorry that he refused to go to the hospital or even to a doctor when he was so ill. Had you called for an ambulance, he would likely have refused to go with them and the end result would be the same. But, you know this already.
While the infection may have added more stress to the damaged liver, the truth is that the liver was too damaged to repair without a transplant. Earlier intervention 2 weeks prior would likely not have changed the outcome. Your husband’s liver was in failure long before he felt ill.
Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome. Your husband was going to pass of liver failure no matter what you did, or did not do. Accept the reality of this. Although he may have looked “fine”, he had a terminal health issue hiding inside that could not be seen without testing which would have been done on yearly check ups, had he gone for regular visits. Had he gone to the doctor regularly, the issue would have been revealed and perhaps the liver could have been nursed back to health. But, he didn’t.
I am going to tell you a harsh truth - his early death is on him. Not you.
Were you aggravated with him for not going to the hospital when he was so sick? Sure. Who wouldn’t be?
You are normal, but stop blaming yourself and ruminating on those days. You are innocent of malice and neglect. You did the best you could, out of love, and that is all one can expect of ones self.
I know you are in shock and it must have been a double hit when you learned of his long-term liver disease and you are trying to make sense of what went wrong and when. But, nothing under the sun would have changed the outcome, it was likely years in the making unbeknownst to both of you.
Cry, scream into pillows and rage against death in private. When you continue to repeat the story over and over, yes, the listener grows impatient. Especially when the listener is also grieving. This is when it is time to be quiet and grieve in private. They’ve heard you, they know, but they don’t need to go over the details ad nauseum with you, they need time to sort out themselves.
Blaming yourself for his death is a burden you do not have to carry unless you choose to do so. Choose not to.
Much love.
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Lizzy my Richard died in October , freinds who used to have next door apartment to us in Spain were going out there and put it on the market for me it sold straight away so i had to go and sign power of attorney for sale in November , it was far to soon and so horrible , cleared personlal belongings etc. But it is so nice knowing i dont have worry about it or do anything with it now .
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Darn it - the battery in Mary’s car has completely died less than 24 hours before it’s hopefully gone! £50 for a new one and outdoors tomorrow morning to fit it before they come for it - I can’t even get the door to unlock! Not too bad a price but just so frustrating. It was ok before it went in for repairs in November but I guess it must have been going then. Ggrrr!
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Littleburty, that’s so good to hear that it all went well, it will be sad but also one problem off my mind. Turkish law is very complicated especially when I have someone claiming on the Estate which is giving me stress I don’t need. I’m hoping though that my lawyer is on my side but it all depends on the courts. I have to get the deeds in my name before I can sell. It’s out of my hands and it’s a waiting game but hopefully after hearing from him it could be completed in a few weeks. Fingers crossed xxx
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Nigel, that’s rotten luck, why do these things happen to us just now? I’ve had so much bad luck that if I have a day without one I start getting worried. Touch wood I have not had one today. Still time though, the day is not over yet.
Enjoy your night out xxx
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Same with mine too, months of tests me nagging him all the time but when they " eventually " diagnosed him- grade 4 lung cancer - in liver , lymph nodes, spine and dos only know if anywhere else. He died 5 weeks later . And now my 36 year old step daughter had been diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer i am devastated all over again
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ill keep mine crossed for you xxx
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Oh Nigel how unlucky is that, really what are the chances of that happening, nightmare! Its so annoying one step forward 2 back xxx
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Yes Lizzy we will all have fingers crossed for you xxx
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Hi Peaches just wondered did you have any success with Ebay, have you tried again ?
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Oh Littleburty I am so sorry to hear about your stepdaughter, my goodness its such a harsh world to lose your husband and now his daughter is diagnosed with cancer, some families just get too much heartbreak happen to them, it just seems so unfair xxx
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