Your turn will come Lizzy and very soon I’m sure xxx
2 Likes
Nigel, it is sad no matter what. The letting go of things is tough for a minute, but once the thing is gone, it is out of the mind quickly. I have forgotten what my husband’s guitars looked like. But, for goodness sake, I nearly broke down over the shredding truck which was turning my husband’s whole life into confetti.
But, purge, sell, donate, and toss we must, depending on our individual circumstances. For me, I need a home for one person who has a few friends over once in a while and a big, obnoxious, dog permanently…
Most upsetting to me is the girls selling their campers! Oh, I want a camper so badly,
I slept in our bed the night my husband died in our bedroom. I knew if I didn’t do it right away, it would be more difficult later. I blocked the view of the place where he lay and didn’t change the sheets for the 1st week. But, with the wake and funeral I had a full house and my niece was to sleep with me, so no time or place to have an emotional bed/sheet/pillow situation, so I had to claim my bed. Beginning to claim our bedroom and bathroom.
If your back is hurting, lie down on the carpet, face up and let everything fall into place. You can massage your own back by stretching your arms on the floor above your head and legs out straight. Stretch opposing limbs. Keeping your shoulders to the floor, bend your knees and pull your spine to the floor, grab behind your knees and rock forward and back on your spine. Then rock side to side and stretch out again. Repeat until your back says “thank you”. Works for me.
Lizzy, it just seems like nothing is moving. Tomorrow, sit down and write a list of all the things you have accomplished and keep adding to it. It’s time for a reminder that things have moved forward. The “to-do” list of major important things yet to be done is paralyzing, I get it, but you are peddling as fast as you can and doing very well. Besides, you have no control over the length of the race, someone else is and they are keeping it a secret.
This, too, shall end.
I had to let The Beast ride in my car to Dog College. Seat covered in rugs and blankets, driving with one hand and the other arm is keeping him from touching the console as he managed to shift us into DM2. I don’t know what DM2 is, but the car slowed down and was very loud. Then he shifted to DM1. That is when I had to forcefully keep him in his seat. The tie down is in the SUV, but I can’t find his halter anyway.
He was, without a doubt, the worst behaved dog in class. First he jumped from the car, despite a “stay” command, and ran away, then he dragged me like a puppet on a string when he saw the other dogs, tried to sniff all the privates (people too), whined, tugged, wrapped the leash around me a few times, peed everywhere, pooped and all around acted like himself. Goodest Boy!
Then the miraculous pinch collar was introduced. Voila! No more pulling.
Raise your hands in the air like you don’t care!
I was trained how to properly used the collar to correct unwanted behavior, learned a “stop barking” trick, learned how to “heel” a dog properly, how to make a 180 degree turn with the dog still at my left knee, how to have the dog stop walking when I stop walking and a “don’t jump on me trick” that needs practice.
Shivering cold, the temps dropped rapidly, the air is moist. It was warm and I thought I was overdressed when I left. Not so. No wonder everyone is sick around here.
Yes, I am celebrating the completion of the 2 most anxiety ridden tasks I had to do since planning my husband’s wake and funeral. 18 weeks.
18 weeks. Feels both as though it took forever and also that he died today.
I could jump for joy or fall to the ground in a puddle of tears at any moment.
I really hate this job. I hate being a widow.
But, the cabinet under the sink is picture perfect, so there’s that.
Goodnight sweet friends. May you wake rested and ready for the day. May only good things happen for everyone today.
Wait a second. . .I hear an owl hooting! A song comes to mind:
“The old hootie owl, hootie hoos from above,
Tammy,
Tammy,
Tammy’s in love”
2 Likes
Thanks Peaches. Yes things do have to go bit by bit! I hardly even notice it there, it’s been parked in almost the same spot over five years and I’ll now be pleased to know someone else will have the pleasure of driving it - as Mary did. Hope they don’t try to knock the price down.
Seems like it was owner training rather than dog training! So glad you’re happy with how that went.
Oh my - that song takes me back to my childhood! Debbie Reynolds 1957 - my mum loved that song! Sleep well. Xxx
2 Likes
Good morning everyone, I woke up at 1.45 with a jolt, my heart was racing, I have no idea why, the house was very quiet. Did go back to sleep and woke up at 6am so not so bad.
Peaches, you wise old owl. 
I didn’t recognise the song but googled it, what a lovely song to start my morning, you could be our therapist from across the pond. You give out very good advice. Thinking about all the things I’ve done I guess I have moved along a bit, almost 17 weeks now, I have achieved a lot. I think I would be on double pages if I wrote all the things I’ve achieved, thank you for putting that thought in my head. I still shiver when I see an email from a lawyer, it’s all been bad news up till now and I think that why they make me feel like that. I will be on the nerves for the next few weeks waiting for the Turkish courts to make a decision on what’s happening over there. The last email was the lawyer thanking me for sending information of my bank details. Phew that was a nice one. I’ve finally made an appointment to get new glasses, you might think that’s nothing but it’s something I couldn’t do till now. When I was frantically doing cpr on my husband, my glasses flew off my head in my panic, landed on the floor tiles the other side of the room and I took a big chip out of them. Every time I wore them it reminded me of that morning, my daughter kept commenting on them, it was noticeable. They will be going in the bin when I get my new ones. I hope the optician doesn’t ask how it happened.
That is brilliant about the beast, isn’t it great with a tiny bit of knowledge things happen, I watch a programme over here called “ Dogs behaving badly” this guy has the fiercest of dogs behaving by the end of the programme , it’s amazing. My husband had a saying, “there’s no such thing as a bad dog, just bad owners” you will be so proud of the beast soon, you will need to change what you call him soon.
Nigel stick to your guns about the price, they should give you what they quoted. My son in law was great the last time someone came for the log splitter, the guy tried to cut him down but he told him that’s the price we agreed on and he has a lot of people on the list if he didn’t take it. He also travelled quite a distance to get to me. He said no worries, thought I’d try. I would probably have gave him it at a lower price, this is why I need someone to be with me when these items are being sold, I’m lucky my daughter and son in law are taking to do with all the selling of the stuff.
I’m not sure what I will do today, maybe check the wall and see if it’s ready for a light sanding, I hope my paint comes today. A wee £5 voucher just popped on my iPad from lidls maybe I will go and get a few things and use it. I prefer when they used to give you a coupon as it’s a faff trying to get your phone out, pack the stuff and pay at the same time. That’s probably an age thing, I should use my phone to pay for things as well but I don’t.
Here’s hoping we all have a good day xxx
3 Likes
So after a reasonable night’s sleep my son texted at 7.00 to ask to borrow the tyre pump so he could get to work, I need to change the battery on Mary’s car and it’s peeing down with rain. He was already soaked so heaven knows how wet I will get. I wonder if I can get a pop up gazebo over it to at least keep me a bit dry? I’ll try to put leads between the new and old batteries to jump start it, and move it a bit. But why all this at the moment! Must get dressed and get to it - the guy could come any time!
2 Likes
Thank you I will send her this x
1 Like
Nigel, it is always the owner that needs training. Right? I am learning dog behavior and communication. We are a team, me and The Beast. Pinch collars are half the battle, but we will not always use one. I am delighted to learn as the only other option would be to re-home him and well, I am in love with this dog. He makes me laugh everyday and feel real love in my heart. When I look at him, he wags his tail. It is nice to have a happy little buddy who thinks I am the bee’s knees and wants to be with me all the time. All. The. Time.
Lizzy so glad that I could help you put things into perspective. You’ve done so, so much you need to own it and give yourself a pat on the back. Sometimes, the things not done are all we concentrate on and forget how far we have really come with everything else. I know the feeling well. I still have knots in my stomach from the paperwork stress even though it is done.
Here is what is so odd. Nearly everyone asks if I will stay in this house. My brother acts as though the decision has already been made and I will move into a condominium and leave the exterior maintenance and yard issues behind. A friend dropped by for a visit and asked the same. Both are in their late 50’s. My girlfriends tell me to stay put so we all will have a place to live when we get old, like The Golden Girls, except with aides, a chef/driver, a landscaper and maids (plural) 3 times a week.
I can dig it and have promised that this is our plan. Should we live into our '80’s, we can live large by pooling our resources.
Last eye exam, it took me about 9 months to finally get the prescription made and I hate the glasses. It will be years before I go back. LED lights and mirrors? Stop. Not the kind of lighting one wants when trying on an accessory that will sit on the face everywhere one goes, all day, everyday, and night.
Tomorrow I will make attempts to get the SUV started and to the shop and clean my car. I can barely see out of the windows. DIdn’t know snow was so dirty and gritty.
Yeah, I was going to take a peaceful day of sleeping late, piddling around the house getting things in shape, but the neighbors are having a new roof installed and there is the jolting rythym of nail guns and shingles sliding around to music. So, that’s out. I hope they don’t work on Saturdays.
I’m rambling. It’s 3am and I am wide awake.
2 Likes
I think so Peaches - the dog then learns from the owner! My daughter next door is going to get a dog when her extension is finished. She love cats but has an allergy since she got diabetes when she was pregnant.
It’s a right pain to change the car battery - isn’t it always - the bolts to release it are at the back of the battery - WHY?
But - great news - I’m going to The Royal Albert Hall to see The Who and Level 42 in concert on 30 March this year. Found a single seat in a good spot - Yeah! And donation made to the Children’s Cancer Trust. So a little bit of help for them too,
Does anyone else forget whether they’ve taken their meds? I really can’t remember whether I took them this morning so can’t take them now in case I did. They’re even in a daily pill dispenser but there was an empty space for this am - but really can’t recall taking them! Oh well, missing one morning shouldn’t hurt I guess!
Rain is forecast to stop in half an hour at 10.00 am but that leaves it very tight for time as I’m out for lunch today, and then the Social Club with the family tonight. Might just have to put off the car pick up until another day.
Have a good sleep peaches and have a good day everyone else. Much love. Nigel xxx
1 Like
Just realised I’d had to go for 27 March - there were only standing one’s for 30th. But still great!
2 Likes
Well what a time I’m having with it at the moment. I have had a bad stomach since Monday. This is not something new to me. I did have investigations about a year ago but they put it down to diverticulitis. I think its plain IBS. There is a family history of tummy problems, me, my mother, my sister and my son. The back ache is from the tummy, the bloating puts pressure everywhere. It doesn’t usually last this long. Last night it went off the scale. I got a migraine just before bed so had to take my medication. This medication makes you feel pretty rubbish for a couple of hours. I was already feeling rubbish and this medication ramped it right up. I was in sooo much pain. I knew I would need to get the big guns of pain relief but really did not feel well enough to get out of bed. But there is no one else. After a while I had to and the good news is with all those meds I slept like a baby. The bad news is I still have the tummy ache. I started worrying last night. What if this time its something else. What if I have appendicitis. A worry I have had in previous episodes too. The key is in the door so my son can’t get in. I don’t think there is much point going to the doctors. She said to come and get antibiotics but I don’t think it is diverticulitis and antibiotics upset my stomach, the last time I had them it took 6 months for my stomach to settle down. No other sympton of infection. Really missing my man. My mother always said not to eat for 48 hours. She was sick with it though so she probably didn’t feel like eating. I’m never sick accept if I have too much alcohol. Too much is 4 glasses of wine. Even through three pregnancies I was not sick once. And I’m hungry now but she is right eating makes it worse. I hate being alone when I’m ill - in fact I just hate being alone. Feeling sorry for myself now.
Lizzy - you sure have come a long way. I too would be really stressed with what you are having to sort out. I overthink everything.
Peaches I do envy your dog even if it does need training. I always thought that I would get a dog if I ended up on my own but now I am I really do not want the responsibilty of caring for anything. I am planning on getting some cats but I’m not ready for even that at the moment.
Nigel - it will be good to get the car sorted. I will really be sad to say goodbye to our camper. We had such a good time in it. But it sits on the drive mocking me.
I know if I had been the first to go my husband would be off in it. The bed is less then 4ft wide and we had to snuggle together to sleep, but I used to sleep so well in it. Reminded me of our courting days when David stayed over in my single 3ft bed. Our wedding night was in my single bed. My mother was worried how we would manage, she didn’t realise we had shared it many times before.
I am also going to see The Who on the Thursday. I was worried there would be engineering works on the train lines on a weekend - there was last weekend and again this one. My son is coming with me, seats near the top, but I have never been to the Royal Albert hall. My husband would have loved it. How will I feel going there without him? He loved The Who so much and we have seen them at least 3 times before.
Nigel you keep yourself so busy. I have no idea what I’m going to do with this dismal and dreary day.
Now shall I have breakfast or see if I can avoid food for at least a while without triggering another migraine.
2 Likes
Nigel, I always take my tablets in the morning, before I leave the bedroom I take them out and leave them next to where I usually sit. Other than that I would forget. I take them with my breakfast whether it be toast or a biscuit. I need something in my stomach before I take them. Maybe the car people will come early.
My husband always had a spare battery in the man cave, he had spare everything. He charged it up regularly. When I needed a new battery I always took it down to a local shop in next town, they came out and changed it for me. I couldn’t even attempt to take it out, it was way too heavy and at only 5’0” I couldn’t reach up to the Honda CRV, my car tells me when I need a new one so I don’t take risks getting stuck where I live. A smaller car or even no car is on the cards depending on where I move to. That’s maybe another thing I need to get rid of, it’s a big battery, wonder if the dump takes them, I must look later on and check that out. I probably won’t be able to carry it. Have a nice lunch xxx
2 Likes
Debsie, it’s horrible being alone when you are not feeling well, this is when you miss them the most. I have a gut allergy and ate something I should not have eaten. Prob some stupid ready meal, I can’t remember now. My husband would always stay with me when I was being sick. That night I was lying where he died and that was awful, I wanted to just die on that floor. It’s the little things like cups of tea getting made for you. I’m still in bed, being lazy this morning, if I did that he would always check on me or bring me tea, he only needed a few hours sleep so was always up, fire would be on, the house was always cosy for when I got up. The weather here is horrible today as well. I need to get rid of more bags of rubbish that are in my car, I will do that first thing, go get some food then do a little bit in that room. I need to keep pushing myself. I noticed the little house that I thought was perfect for me has been sold. I just hope something else comes on the market when I’m ready to go. There is nothing on the market at all just now. I hope your gut starts behaving itself, it’s bad enough coping without being ill as well. I’ve also started taking the keys out the door as I gave my daughter a key to get in. (Just in case). We always kept them in the door. Take care xxx
2 Likes
Debsie, It stopped raining right as forecast - but - the car sale is going to have to go on hold - I literally cannot get to the battery retaining bolts, so will have to get a mechanic to do that for me. Long gone are my crawling around cars days - everything is just so crammed in now!
Mary wanted to find our old VW camper - we know it’s still around but not where. I won’t do that now though, but my son is still looking for it. We had many holidays where that was our means of travel and for an overnight stopover - two stereo’s with 8 switched headphone sockets, so everyone had a choice of music, fridge, cooker and seats for 8. Always the 6 of us plus a couple of friends of the kids. Beach Boys blasting out and Mary turning left through Paris, when I’d said turn right, and right when I said left!
So pleased you’re going to the Who with your son. I suffer from vertigo, so have to have lower down seats. I’ve been to many concerts and shows there, John Denver, Yes, Cirque de Soleil etc. We had one booked for June but I cancelled as it was something Mary wanted to go to rather than me.
I do try to keep busy, as that helps me not to dwell on things too much, and it gets me out and about too. It’s great at the club - there’s usually about 20 of us over a 4 hour period - family and friends - playing pool, chatting and having a drink etc. So good for us all.
I’m running out of time to do the car today anyway - the dealer said they’d call an hour before getting to me, so perhaps it’s best to put it off for the moment, even if that does mean losing this sale and starting over. Shame but that’s what happens sometimes. I can’t do with a last minute rush in any event, and the battery issue has just added to the difficulty.
Much love - hope today brightens up for you. Nigel xxx
1 Like
Lizzy, I keep evening meds upstairs and morning one’s in the downstairs shower room. I too need food with one of the morning ones, but just can’t remember taking them or not today!
Honda CRV is a nice car - but yes I can see you’d have difficulty getting the battery out. My problem with having it fitted was that the car is on the drive, wouldn’t start and battery is way to far away from anywhere that could be used to jump start it. Being automatic, I couldn’t even have bump started it down the road, so someone is going to have to come out to do it this time.
I’m sure lunch will be good. xxx
1 Like
Hi Debsie just wanted to say I was diagnosed with Diverticular disease about four years ago and the pain was excruciating, one episode it was so bad I thought I was going to pass out!
I did some research and settled on Biofibre Organic Prebiotic Inulin, I take a teaspoon in my cup of tea in the evening and I can say I have not had an episode like that since.
I have it on subscription from Amazon so I never run out, the company is Golden Greens !
It also keeps me regular as I used to also suffer from constipation! Sorry everyone for that piece of information 
2 Likes
Nigel thats such a shame about the car battery, I honestly think it’s like one step forward two steps back sometimes on this grief journey, and you were so pleased that you had sold
2 Likes
Georgi, I will give it a go. Bit aprehensive as fiber seems to make my stomach worse, but get such a lot of tummy issues I won’t know until I try. Fingers crossed
1 Like
Debsie, if your like me, when your suffering you will try anything but I hope it works for you, take care xxx
1 Like
Did you have a CT scan ? Thats how they diagnosed mine?
1 Like
Had a colonoscopy. My son had his diagnosed with a scan I think. Had days of low fibre and copious amounts of laxatives before the procedure and my tummy was the best it had ever been. I often find a laxative will reset my stomach even if I’m not constipated but its not working this time.
1 Like