@Martyn2 Im lucky I suppose , we didn’t have friends , so will never have to be disappointed in them . I have two fabulous adult kids . I keep a lot from them , in how I feel , I know they are grieving for their dad , I know how it feels to lose a parent when your only young , So I can’t put my grief onto them as well . So a true friend would I suppose of been good and helped me . Just as well this site is here. Yes don’t think any of us will get over it . We just learn to adjust and adapt to the grief in our life . They say grief is love , so I guess it will stay with us . Like the love we have for our partners . X
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It certainly is 
thats what they say it is anyway … well known. Its so bloody crap though isnt it … i hate this solitary life now though dont you ? I know i have my dog but its not same is it as another person to love. Feeling sad today and weekends are always hard arent they dont you find ? xx
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I find weekend’s very hard to get through I am this weekend just feel exhausted and very weepy, sometimes I go to my son’s and stop a couple of days on a weekend but I’ve still got to come back to a quiet lonely house thank goodness winter’s nearly gone take care
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My two daughters are both very thoughtful- both called me on Wednesday to check in on me! Youngest is near me so love to pick my grandson (7) up from school on a Thursday night and do pizza with him before taking him home! Off to Canada to see my eldest for 10 days in March !
Some friends have been great - our two best friends are superb but others not seen or heard of since the funeral ! They never ever reach out just say “you know where we are” expecting everyone to visit them …… Some relatives are just the same ! Times like these are quite enlightening aren’t they!
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They know you’re all grieving together and hopefully make time for certain occasions to get together!
My mum has been gone 10 years in Jusy and we always met mor Mother’s Day and nd her birthday (October) to put some flowers on her memorial and then do a family dinner !
They all took the pi55 out of my flower arrangement skills ! 
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Same for me. I lost my husband suddenly at the end of September. I have struggled since but on Wednesday I cried all day. I feel like I am going backwards. I just feel so lost. He was my soulmate for 56 years 
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You are fairly early days aren’t you ? Be patient with yourself - course youre upset. xx
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I miss my wife terribly but 25 years together and 23 years married! Some days I feel I have done ok ! Other days I feel as though I’m sleepwalking through my life now ! After 56 years I can’t even begin to imagine how much you miss him
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@Ilovehorses that was good for you . We could have done a video but my Andrew hated the way he looked so I couldn’t do that and I don’t think I could have coped either . We found the picture I think he would have liked and had a large one in the crematorium
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The picc line 
I kept my partner’s covers in a special box.
Our landlord, at the time when she started chemo, his wife had died of cancer a few years earlier and he came round to see us and just burst into tears when he saw the picc line cover on her arm
One of the those moments that has just stuck with me
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Cancer sucks that’s a polite way of saying it another week see what it throws at me all the best to everyone going to see if I can move tina things from down stairs bathroom .or just leave them x
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@Martin2 what beautiful pictures of your partner, and the tattoo is amazing. Yes you are keeping her close to your heart . Very polite way of saying what cancer is , I’m sure we all could think of stronger words . I have the week of work , so I must try and motivate myself . It’s sunny here at the moment so I might tackle the garden . Yesterday I took to hacking a bush back . Think I got carried away . It’s almost baldy now . I’m deffo no gardener , but I try my best . If it feels to much moving Tina’s things from bathroom , leave them for another day . X
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@MemoriesOfUs . I still have my husbands radiation mask , I hate it , but can’t part with it . He was so happy bringing it home to show me after his treatment had finished, so full of hope for our future together . I know for a fact if he had won the battle with cancer ,and still here with me , I would be on at him to get rid of it . He would of probably put it in his man shed. That’s another thing I hate , he built a shed out our back with the old shed and pallets , after his treatment finished, so he had a big space to do his newly found woodwork hobby , He bought all the tools as well . Never got to use them much . Two months later he died . It’s sort of crazy the things we keep now , and what they mean to us .
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@Broken2222 I recovered the 5fu chemo pump from the medical waste container left when they removed it
Took me a month to dispose of the catheter bag and still tapped it
Sealed those and various other bits of paraphernalia from treatments etc in a box
Just can’t let it go, even though I can’t open it to look at items
Lose your damn mind - up is down, left is right
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As soon as my Elissa passed away and i had returned home i immediately contacted NRS to collect all of the equipment like her hospital bed, hoist, wheelchair, walking frames etc - All of the things that reminded me how poorly she was. Now I am using her bedroom as i re-decorate my room to be the spare and i feel as though she is close-by with me … even when i’m alone in the house i feel as if she’s here and i like that, ! I talk to her and say hello baby when i see her photo every morning
My daughters immediately removed all her medication and took that for safe disposal … but her dressing table, her drawers and wardrobe are all untouched until i am ready … Whenever that may be
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Aw… what a lovely pic and yeh i know the feeling it really is torture isnt it … i miss my husband all the bloody time … what a life xx
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