Yeh and 3 kids we had and 5 grandchildren , 6th on way, all lost him too. My own parents are still here … 83 !! Seems so wrong doesnt it ? I remember being so damn angry about that at beginning … why are they still here and hes not … sounds awful that doesnt it but i was ! Xx
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We didn’t have any kids
I know what you mean 
I didn’t get on with her folks - esp after her diagnosis - and thought that many a time. Still do
She deserved so much better
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Years ago I worked in a care home , terrible the amount of really old people , with no family visiting them and no quality of life . Just sitting each day waiting to die . I’m so glad I don’t work there now . I couldn’t work there now ! Knowing my husband still had so much life left in him , so much still to do . We both were so young at heart . And your partner so young . It’s tragic . If there is a God , what the hell is he playing at . He has it all wrong . Ours and our partners future stolen from us . X
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Yes sitting in the garden with the family having a BBQ and a beer or three - after being stuck in my office I all day it was nice to get out, cut the lawn and tidy the garden and enjoy the fresh air and sunshine! !
The little things are the big things (less is more)
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My Elissa was a brilliant stepmom to my two daughters, they. were just 5 & 7 when we got together and loved her beyond measure (and visa versa).
She was a daddy’s girl to the very last breath ! Her relationship with her sister (only sibling) was challenging at times and Elissa didn’t trust her …, and with good reason! I’m keeping her sister at arms length
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Cat_fan.i cut all contact with my natural sister Wendy and family after the horrible things she said about sue.granted her husband mick passed away in may last year but after saying at least you knew sue was going to die.that finished it for me after saying that i will never ever forgive Wendy for this
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Oh wow ! Thanks martyn xx
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She’s going through the grief process too and may say things that shouldn’t have been said but grief does make us all say / think / do things out of character sometimes !
Elissa and I knew her prognosis was terminal from May 6 2021- that’s a double edged sword because we knew there was no possible treatment other than palliative care- however it meant she had time to she could see friends and family and put things in place.
Our friend Katy conversely woke up to find her husband dead next to her, no chance to put his affairs in order or spend time with his loved ones, but he didn’t endure over two years of suffering like my wife either !
I can understand her comment if she lost her husband in a similar way to our friend and she is almost certainly still grieving herself though she could have been a lot more tactful …… or best not said at all,
Thinking of you …… it’s so hard, you may lose people along the way but don’t lose the wrong ones over a hasty moment
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Love it same hobbies tina an me had still got bikes in the garage my one is victory judge tina one is z1000 god going to miss our rides out going to say I don’t like my life right now not living just surviving miss you babes xx
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My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 53 years old. No chance to say what I wanted to say. Such a shock. Wish he would come back for a hour so we can have that conversation. Take care xx
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Yes I can understand that completely!
There’s no good way to lose someone you love, there will always be pain, heartache and regrets.
I loved my beautiful wife Elissa, she was my everything and putting the wheels back on my life is a long slow process!
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That’s some nice wheels ! The Kwak z1000 was a serious bike in my youth! My mate had a Honda CBX, he was a bodybuilder and a steeplejack and it looked like a moped with him on it lol
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It’s not a ‘young thing’
Elissa’s sister was 2 years older than her (64) but has tried every dirty trick in the book to get all of her dad’s estate to herself (ie including Elissa’s inheritance).
She wanted it all and felt justified in using LPOA to help herself to her father’s estate (we think she has skimmed £40-50k since 2020. She tried to persuade Elissa to change her will to leave her estate to her sister instead of me - unbelievable and she was disappointed that Elissa told her to fcuk off.
She said to me after Elissa passed away “It’s sundown time for dad I think “ and less than a week later he fell and broke his hip on the driveway…… A coincidence I think not
With her sister dead she will get everything ie £300,000 of which was Elissa’s
She’s complaining that her 97 year old dad will have to pay his own care costs
Her 24 year old son is equally entitled
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Families so complicated
Take care
L
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Shocking isn’t it !
Sounds like a story line in a drama series- I’m just distancing myself from her - at least her dad is safe in rehab / nursing home!
Hes such a lovely guy with very advanced dementia- my only hope is that his dementia saves him from the heartache of losing his daughter by some cruel kindness !
She was such a daddy’s girl and that was lovely to see as I have two beautiful daughters who are the same, especially the youngest
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Hello everyone,
I’m just posting to remind you of our Community Guidelines, which state that:
We are a diverse community and we ask everyone to be respectful. Please don’t post any content that treats anyone unfairly because of their sex, gender reassignment, sexual orientation, race, physical or mental health, religion, disability, marital status, family circumstance or age; or anything that is threatening, obscene or offensive.
While it’s okay to talk about your own experiences, and to seek support with relationships in your life, posts which make sweeping negative generalisations about any group are not in line with our guidelines and will be removed.
Please do bear in mind that we have many young people who are members of our community, and seeking support for their grief. As Community Manager, I have a duty to ensure that the community is a safe and supportive space for everyone.
Thank you, and please get in touch by private message if you have any questions.
Seaneen
Its true you cant pick your family and you know your sister better than anyone. As an outsider it comes across as sibling rivalry gone mad. In her grief addled brain, she believes that her grief is worse than yours.
What a childish thing to think and something she shouldn’t have said out loud.
I hope in time you can see it for what it is and move on, whether the sister is in your life or not.
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