Cardiac arrest, he had an underlying heart condition. He was so well in the day, I thought he was winding me up. It was so quick but it will haunt me for the rest of my life. He was only 44 and just seems so unreal he’s gone 
.x
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Hi @ Helen24
Sorry to here about your husband so young. My husband was 63 which i thought young but i see from this website that dying in your 40+ seems to be common.
Like yourself my husbands death in the house was traumatic. Cause of death cardivascular disease but he had no symptoms we were on holiday the month before.
Guess we just dont know whats ahead but without them is hard. We could live for 20+ years cant thonk that far ahead.
Take care
Lynne x
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I do hope you can find some peace and not let it haunt you for the rest of your life.
@Helen24
Please do not let it be an anchor that stops you finding some happiness in time to come. Please try to focus more on the the laughs and smiles, the wonderful trips and days out and the moments to cherish, and that he chose you freely.
I know the feeling of disbelief, it sure does feel unreal, like a nightmare you want to wake from.
Deep love is the main takeaway here, not guilt or blame, but the dedication you had for one another.
I’m feeling your pain, be gentle on yourself, steady as it goes. Big hug
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Aw … thats really young 
my husband was 60 and i thought that was young its not long ago for u is it ? Only few months ago. You will still be in shock. Try find some bereavment counselling if you can to help you come to terms with it xx
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Thats so young - im so sorry to hear that
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I’m trying to find a counsellor but only one I have found only does zoom, I’d rather face to face. Some people find it helps but I’m not sure it will. I don’t really fancy reliving it either to be honest. I can talk about Steve all day long but not about him not being here. It just feels like he’s gone somewhere for a while. It’s just like being stuck in a nightmare 
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So sorry sending hugs and 
Hope you manage to get councelling i’m 8 months on and i am still waiting for appointment
Take care
Lynne x
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Yeh ok. You know sue ryder do online counselling dont you ? Xx
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I did mine via cruise bereavement.
I have had a telephone session but need face to face one
Still getting by day by day nothing else for it
Hope you get councelling too.
Lynne x
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I already had 10 sessions in the summer last year with sue ryder … i found it helpful x
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My wife managed to get some sessions with Sue Ryder (Thorpe Hall) with a counsellor end 2022 and early 2023 (mostly by Zoom). They were experiencing difficulty so i didnt ask for help for myself back then and said i would take the offer up later on. I probably needed it more then than i do now to be honest but I wasnt to know that.
I dont fell that I really need that help at the moment and have decided not to follow that option up unless i find i crash and burn and find i need that later on.
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@Helen24
So sorry it’s bloody hard isn’t it… I’ve spent a lot of the last 7 months in disbelief finding him dead was such a shock! You don’t really want to believe there actually gone…
He knew somehow he wasn’t going to live long he kept saying to me a few months before I’m not going to outlive my dad… and I just said don’t be silly your dads 101
I was adamant his new drugs killed him as a week before he was put on new ones…
but I was told it was heart failure…
I get so angry that he has been taken from me too soon… but I guess we all feel
Like this what ever there age or circumstances…
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My husband once said that to me too. That he wasnt gonna live till he was that old. I wonder if something just tells them imside ? and nearly 14 months on friday … i still have.days of seething anger hes not here - especially mornings. I find mornings especially the hardest, opening your eyes and then remembering they’re not here x
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Hello all of you, my husband too told me 2022 that he wouldn’t see the year out because he’d been unwell for a time we just shrugged it off and told him not to be silly again in 2023 he said the same thing he passed 1st May 2023 I often wonder if he knew. Like you every morning I find very hard to get up and face the day night time is just as bad
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Maybe it’s coincidental, I said to my love I would die before her. What’s galling is that she ate healthily and looked after herself. I drank and smoked and I’m still here, it’s not fair.
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I’m 53 and my husband was 44 he had 4 children I had none. We lost both his parents in 2019 so been through hell then my mum a year later. I just wish it was me not him I just don’t get it!!
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I’ve just had my first valentines in 42 years since losing my wife. Im really surprised at the raw emotions im feeling today. Im angry that i never kept last year’s card- she kept mine. Im angry hearing people discuss valentine’s day in shops and on the tv.
I feel that im being punished. Its all very raw for me. Its only three weeks since the funeral.
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Very early days for you xx
This is my 2nd valentine without my gorgeous beautiful wife sue.the day just passed in a haze and I kept thinking about sue all day today.didnt feel right at all. I know that sue wouldn’t want me to be downhearted so I made sue a promise to carry on fighting for life and I will honour that promise to sue with every fibre of my being.
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Yeh same here but i cant even remember last year of what i even did ??? Last year is very much a haze is it for you ? Its been tough hasnt it martyn ? But we made it this far … as @Hazel.1966 just said to @Annaessex … our partners would be proud. And i know my husband would want me to get stronger and enjoy life for him as best i can. He was a kind, generous man bless him and we wont ever forget them will we …they will forever be in our hearts 
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