Soul destroying 
I knew she was refusing to show any weakness and was in pain, and you can’t imagine what it’s like if you’re facing your own mortality and know the sand is running out in your hourglass
But to see it written by her own hand - just no words
I can’t imagine how hard it was to read that - I used to look into my wife’s beautiful blue eyes and see just how poorly she was !
They say the eyes are a window of the soul !
It also struck me when I look at photos - she’s smiling but there’s just a sadness in her eyes that just never used to be there
Yeh very true … to see it in writing too 
i hate thinking about those last few weeks … too sad x
Yeh the sadness … i saw it too in my lovely husbands eyes ! They were so brave you know ! So bloody brave … god love em. But theyre at peace now … just think of it like that … x
Yeh its true they are … i believe that strongly x
Absolutely no doubt in my mind that its true …
@Deb5 yes that’s the worst thing waking up and remembering he’s gone . I hope things will get easier for us
@MemoriesOfUs totally heartbreaking , seeing what your partner had wrote, yes there are no words to describe how you must of felt . Sending hugs X
It is isnt it ? Sometimes i jump … when i realise hes not here … its awful but other days im ok and see to my naughty puppy (lol) and take her a walk… but on those bad days its awful it must get a bit easier because i dont get that as much as i did at beginning, i get distracted some days xx
Don’t have a naughty puppy - just an attention seeking cat, he used to sleep on her bed in the day and her chair at night! He loves being near people! He used to cheer her up and keep her company!
He’s such lovely company
@Deb5
I have a puppy the first few months of losing my partner was hell if I’m honest I just couldn’t cope with him… I just wanted space to cry… 7 months on he is into more of a routine with me and I’m not stressing so much… frightens me though if he barks in the middle of the night I think intruder…
He gets me up and out though which is good for me otherwise I would be staying in depressed…
@Cat_fan
Animals are great company
My partner wasn’t really a doggie fan or cats
But I won him over in the end…
My partner and I used to walk a lot together he struggled with his breathing the last few months we had no idea it was his heart as he had kidney disease and crohns when I met him 33 years ago… he never complained just carried on with his meds and hospital visits every 2 weeks for infusions… we had two lovely holidays a few months before he died in the Inner hebredise… sorry for your loss
Yeh i cried a lot and poor little puppy had to sit there and watch me cry but i found her a disistraction from my misery and she kept me busy but it was hard yeh . And they are so good for getting you out arent they. I made a couple of good friends cos of my dog xx
@MemoriesOfUs
That did it for me lump in my throat and crying so much how awful for you to find…
I guess I never really knew what my partners inner thoughts were he always looked like he was coping so well… he had crohns for 33 years then went onto get kidney disease and MGUS… I get stressed with back pains…
I’m absolutely useless with my pain threshold… My poor mum had skin cancer was told it was terminal and the operations she went through were just indescribable she looked to be coping amazingly on the outside… but when she passed my step dad told me she would cry all the time she died early 60s That really messed with my head for a long time…So I totally understand:(( hugs
@Ilovehorses it hit me hard, esp as I wasn’t expecting it - was looking for passwords
Sorry for your losses 
Same principle to what we’re going through with grief and no one understands until they’ve been there - no one can understand what that person is going through facing their own mortality with a terminal illness, foregoing the pain and sickness of the disease itself
Hi everybody sorry for your loss I don’t have a dog but both my son and daughter do and what a distraction they are my sons dog is a British bull dog when I cry he lays his head on my knee and then licks me my daughters dog a Shiatsu I dog sit for him and he follows me everywhere although he’s 13 this year he likes to play he still thinks he’s a puppy and loves to cuddle upto me on the settee they certainly help me through really bad days
Our friends have a beautiful springer spaniel - hes a lovely boy and my wife was interested in the idea of a dog but it wasn’t practical for us, I was working and looking after her and looking after and walking a dog too wasn’t viable but we adopted Sammy - a beautiful 10kG Maine Coon cat and he has such a lovely temperament and was great comfort for my wife and I and still is for me …
He doesnt ask stupid questions or make stupid suggestions and all he wants is food, cuddles and company … pets can be such a godsend at any time but especially at difficult times like these … he’s just 4 and quite playful too
Aw …that’s lovely. Dogs are so faithful and they know when youre sad. Better than some humans if u ask me ! Lol x
