@Sarlyn
I agree, I really do think its best that you go to the funeral. You’d doing that for him and if, well its sounds like they will behave badly, thats on them. Others will see this.
I think you could regret it, if you dont…
Mazza x
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Well to update you all, I have just come back from the Chapel of Rest 
I am soooooo glad I went, it was just what I needed, to be alone with my love and to finally say our own private goodbye, no outside interference, just us, it was peaceful, serene and beautiful. He was there, I could feel him. Don’t get me wrong I sobbed my heart out all the way through, my friend was so supportive but the weirdest thing is all the pain, hurt and heartbreak was lifted for that time I was there. I gave the lady my rose, letter and photo’s and then when I finally left, I felt the sun on my face and I felt so grateful to be alive and I want to live every minute of what time I had left. I felt sadness for Jim and for ‘us’ but realized there will always be an us tucked inside my heart. It gave me the strength I need to now take the step to go to the funeral in the knowing we will be together as one, a team me and him and nobody else matters.
Thank you all so much for your amazing support, it means so much to me.
Love Lyn x
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i am so pleased you found peace and comfort today @Sarlyn you faced the visit with such courage and strength and given you purpose to go forward and live your life. I love your phrase of keeping ‘us tucked inside your heart’ I feel the same about my darling man. Its in a safe place. I hope today has given you the strength to go to the funeral with your head held high, you were a team and continue to be, just you and him, and no one can ever take that away. xxx
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@sandi thank you, I’m not sure I could have done it without the support and encouragement of all you lovely people.
Today was about me and Jim, it was very surreal and emotional but I now know he is on the next stage of his journey. I too now have to face mine but in the knowing our bond/connection will never be severed. It’s a mixture of all emotions sadness/beauty/peace and the overwhelming one for me is gratitude that he was a part of my life from the age of 10
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@Lonely
Thank you for your lovely words, I have certainly been through the wringer and tested but you do find a hidden strength that you never knew you had.
It’s lovely that with your life experience, wisdom and compassion that after all these years you can still help others with their grief. Peter was a very lucky man x
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I,m so glad you went and were supported by your friend and managed to give the rose and letter x
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Sarlyn,
So pleased you were able to go to the chapel of rest,well done big hugs,
I know when I went to see my hubby I did feel a calmness come over me,
Take care of yourself
Sue x
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Thats amazing. Im so glad you had the courage to go. I must admit i felt the same as you described when i went to see Mike.
The love does stay with you always.
Jane xx
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Thank you. Life is so fragile isn’t it? I still struggle that he’s gone and I guess I always will but I strongly felt he is now on another journey and I felt calm x
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Sue
Thank you and big hugs back to you having already gone through this yourself x
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@JaneD I have no idea where the courage came from (well I do…I had a small G&T before I went) yes the love comes through stronger than ever when you have to dig deep for the strength to do any of this xx
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Big hugs to you x
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@Stillhiswife
Thank you for your advice and it’s welcomed and you are right. After today I know now I can and will be at his funeral as I refuse to give in to the actions of his son’s. This is about me and Jim so I will rise above it x
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Hugs right back to you
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Sending lots of positive love
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@Freefaller and same back to you. We walk this journey together all of us, hand in hand and each other’s footsteps
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Thats this family do .yes were a family i for one am so appreciative of everything you have all said it gave me a huge boost when I was really down
Freefaller
I know how you feel, sorry for your loss
my husband had a cardiac arrest whilst driving,
He passed away 2 hours later in hospital
Feels like a bad nightmare,
Take care
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