Sarlyn
So very sorry to hear that they have advised you not to see your husband, Only in a closed
Coffin,
My husband was in the mortuary for over 2 weeks
I did go to see him in the chapel of rest he did look a bit different ,but I felt his soul had left him ,but I did feel a calmness come over me,
And it helped me get through the funeral,
I do feel for you big hugs take care ,
Sue x
Thank you all for your caring, thoughtful responses.
His selfish sons stopped me seeing him when he was on life support so they denied both of us from saying our goodbye. I have known him since I was 10 years old. I donāt even warrant a mention in his eulogy. How can they even do this to their own dad?
Now Iām denied the chance to see him in a calm peaceful goodbye too. Itās all too much for me but I will sit with him and hope and pray somehow he knows Iām there x
Oh you poor thing. It shows their lack of genuine care for him, definitely and thatās so sad to seeā¦It mustāve felt heart-breaking for you to be kept from him, when on life support (as well as not being mentioned in the eulogy).
You could take some photos to put in the coffin, a written letter/card and a piece of your clothing that he liked to see you in. They will be parts of you thatās left with his physical being (at the very least).
Mazza x
Aw so sorry about that - take advice from the funeral director - they are very good xx i found mine invaluable at that awful time xx
Yeh brilliant idea mazza. Write a poem to him and place it next to him 
xxx
His sons sound very selfish and spiteful ā¦ so sorry 
you do it your own way from now on in xx
Why were his sons so involved ? Why werent you ? Were you married? Dont understand that ? Xxx
Because we were not married and his sonās are his ālegalā next of kin. He made no will either just complicating everything.
When the ambulance was called I rang his son and he came round and wanted to go the hospital with him. From then on in the refused all communication and because Jim was on life support unable to speak for himself the hospital said only the next of kin could give permission for me to see him, which they refused. They did text message me to tell me he had died (nice of them) and I nearly crashed the car
Omg Sarlyn
That is awful. I thought my stepchildren were bad but yours are on another level.
How cruel of them.
How is it going to affect you financially, i hope you will be ok.
Ive just had my monthly dividends from my Husbands business stopped by his evil Brother. I havnt slept all night worrying about it. No will, so legally he can do this until probate goes through.
Its bad enough losing your soul mate without all the nastiness from their family.
Im pleased you have decided to go see your Husband at the funeral parlour. It doesnāt matter if the lid is closed. He will know that you are there.
Jx
Oh they are idiots ! I wouldve kicked off big time !!! You poor thing its all so unnecessary !! Xx
Exactly jane ! He will know and also put something dear to you with him. We dressed my husband in his favourite football shirt and all wrote a message on it xxx
Hi @Sarlyn
You can talk to him any time and any where. Heāll always be with you xx
Thank you, itās just all a heartbreaking nightmare. Itās only been 5 wks, Iām still in shock and I am yet to cry, I cried the day he died and nothing since. None of it is registering.
Thankfully I will be ok financially as although the house was our home, it is my house (I bought it before we got together), savings we had are also mine and they will get nothing from me. When Jim split up from their mother 20 yrs ago, he bought a flat where one of the sonās lived so that will be thereās and thatās it.
It will take every ounce of strength I have to get through the funeral and then I will never set eyes on them ever again.
Yeh you do right! I hope you can cry soon ā¦ it does release the pain 
maybe you still in a bit of shock ! I started most of my crying after funeral ā¦ were all different ā¦ xx
Sarlyn, thats something. They are hateful.
I was the same, cried on the day i had to agree to switch the machines off. Then nothing for about 2 months when a song came on in a shop (i avoid the radio)
Im over 5 months in now. I promise it does get a little easier. The early weeks are hell. I look back and wonder how i got through the days.
Hopefully the better weather will help us all.
Ive started remembering more the good times rather than the shock it happened. Ive even laughed a few times then felt guilty. Do you have children or good friends?
Ive taken up salsa dancing with my Daughter, im hopeless but it has been a life saver. Im still signed off work with stress but it has given me a little bit of structure to my week and the people there are so friendly.
I talk to Mike all the time. I do feel he is near me.
I wish you peace and the strength to get through the funeral.
Jx
I forgot I cried one day over Easter when I woke up to no Easter egg or flowers, it really is the simplest of things where the grief has a direct hit
Thank you for your encouragement. I donāt have any children or family but I do have fantastic neighbours and a few really good friends. I would have been totally lost without them. I have been off work 6 wks but just requested that to be extended until after the funeral which Iām sure the Dr will agree too. I need to get back to work because I canāt sit here all day and night feeling sorry for myself, I need some structure, I work from home permanently so at least I donāt have to face people which for me the way Iām feeling is a godsend.
My friend as just said she can take me to the chapel on Thurs am, I would have liked to have gone sooner but she is working bless her. I wonāt look at him anyway so doesnāt matter. I will just sit with him and say my goodbye. Still dreading it though because something tells me there is a tsunami of tears due to come
Yeh thats very true xx
I do hope it goes ok for you and you get some comfort from going to visit him. We are all in this horrible place together, one day things will get better, not ok but better.
@Jeff.1 thank you so much, I just have to say my own private goodbye before the funeral next week. I canāt see him because of the changes which the funeral directors say would probably cause distress. In my mind and memories he will always be fit, strong and healthy up until he died and thatās how he would want me to remember. Itās all so hard isnāt it.
It is your birthday Friday isnāt it? I do hope your special day goes as well as can be expected under this umbrella of grief over your head. Iām sure your lovely wife will be with you
Lyn
X