So sorry for your loss Hope. You’ve summarised most of what I’m feeling too. My partner died a year and a half ago and I’m still heartbroken. Lost, miserable and scared too. It was really just myself, him and our dog and that was wonderful. But now nobody really asks how I am and some family members have not asked since the funeral. I have no hope, ambitions or dreams. What is the point when I have nobody to make them with? But I have my dog and for her I’ll keep plodding on. Wishing you all the best and sending gentle hugs.
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Thank you Lisa. Sending hugs back to you 
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Try and make some friends @Lisa99 it really does help ! I made a couple of dog walker friends ! They been great tbh ! Help to keep me going ! What about joining a dog walker group ? X
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Sending a hug to you xx
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Thank you xx
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That’s a great suggestion thank you, but not possible unfortunately. My girl is reactive and anxious, so she gets scared by people, things and other dogs. A dog walker group would be horrendous for her - and also me! xx
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Hi there
You know it’s not selfish at all. Having needs, desires and wants is part of being human and it’s fantastic to express that - well done you.
You are absolutely not on your own; my darling husband died nearly a year ago. It’s been a dire year mostly but not all doom and gloom.
I too was always the ringleader, centre of attention and belle of the ball. Now I sometimes feel I don’t even exist. Everything is such an effort and I’m shattered.
The good news is nothing lasts forever and according to Buddhist teachings, they talk of the impermanence of things. One day, you won’t suffer in the way you do now - and the same for me and others reading this thread. Things WILL get better and you will have wisdom, deeper understanding, compassion and beauty within you too carry you through to the next phase of your life.
Wishing you and everyone happiness and peace. Helen
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So empathise with you Hope. I lost my dear hubby of 50 years married just 18 months ago and miss all those things you say. It’s proof of what a great, loving but so ordinary life we had for so long. Friends, family and neighbours come and go - mostly it feels like go! You need one or two close buddies to unload the sadness on to now and again - and if that means a helpline then that’s better than holding it in. I’ve just watched After Life written, directed and acted by Ricky Gervais (Netflix series) - there are some gems in there which I found helpful. Try to find little nuggets of joy every day - perhaps a short walk in a green space, a food treat, or escapist tele and be thankful if the wonderful memories - not everyone has them. Xx
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I have never had a close circle of friends as i suffer from agrophobia it is so hard to find ppl who understand the difficulties i face. I am very much alone my family have been no support whatsoever. Xxxx
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It’s devastating to read how we feel - I’m so sad for all of us. Two things that have helped me is The Bereavement Journey (I’m nearing the end of it now) online and a sign posting website for bereavement called At a Loss. It might be if some help to you. The bereavement journey meant six sessions of being in a zoom with others in the same situation. I was dubious but it’s so well run. It has been helping x
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Thank you i have never heard of that i will take a look. Xxxc
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Thank you. I will have a look at the Ricky Gervais film you mentioned.
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i have had to downsize so have gone from a 4 bed spacious cottage to a 2 bed. With my partner only passing away in Feb, i had to box up his belongings. my friend had to help with it, i was hysterical at one point. then my friends husband said surely you don’t want these (Darren’s tatty work boots as he was a stonemason). Of course I wanted to keep them. I am just not ready to go through the boxes and so they are now in the loft for the time being. My son and I still have so much to sort. my son and my friend have been amazing, I don’t know what I would have done without them. on the other hand a friend messaged me how are you doing I told them that it has been a really difficult time and all I got back was bless you.
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Yes, some people really don’t know how to deal with us. Do they?
I’ve written a poem about that.
It’s not very good and I’ll keep it to myself but it sums up my feelings about how we’re treated
X x
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Liro I’d love to read that if you are happy to share xx
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that’s well worth sharing x
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Thankyou x
Wow that is so true you are so good. Definitely share ut. Xxx
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Liro that’s spot on. Well done and thank you xx
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