RoseGarden I too get really angry over this I wanna scream that is not what am looking for just a bit love and understanding now and again from my own family would suffice a little plus I am going to be truthful here and tell yous i attended a bereavement group which did help me a lot and we became quite a close group so we had a few nights out anyway one the guys asked if he could take me out for a drink I thought well maybe I should try but explained to him it would only be on a friendship terms no romance included I just couldn’t so he accepted this said all the right things that’s no problem that’s fine just friendship as he had not been out socially for 4 year since loosing his wife so we goes out everything was OK we talked about our experiences etc then lo and behold as he had a couple extra drinks the little innuendo’s started which really made me uncomfortable anyhow I politely excused myself went home and when he got in touch again I said no because you do not want just friendship so the moral of my story is I feel guys cannot even accept your rules on friendship life just sucks 
X
So sorry that happened xx
So sorry that happened i would love to have friends in my life .someone i could pick a phone up to and cry when needed. But because of my agrophobia i have no friends. Xx
Thats so sad, but that just about sums up the way i feel. My son lives with me hes 34 and saving up a deposit on a flat but just not enough. Even though hes here im still lonely because he cant understand why im still very upset every day after almost 6 months. I feel like people are avoiding me. You cant help feeling me me me because your life you had together has gone and its difficult seeing a future without them. I cant face going on holiday, especially on my own and the memories of past holidays make me sad and longing for that time again. People say things will get better but how??
I had bereavment counselling and shr told me that put groef is like an egg … they call it the egg theory. So the yoke is the grief and the white is our life and gradually we start to build a life around the yoke, ( the white bit ) hope that makes sense … xxxx
Thank you for that message too. My hubby gone now 14 long long months ago. I miss him every single days . We were together for 53 years. I’ll have a look today for that film you mentioned. Cath Vogel.
Sending you a big hug- I know how you feel. Guess lot of us on here will feel the same. This is where I think face to face bereavement groups would help so you could befriend people local to you. Go out together and build up a new circle of friends people that understand. Feel free to message for support.
Yes I think we have to have micro goals. Celebrate the small achievements. I have a sort of star chart where if I manage one small thing I didn’t think I could I draw a star on my chart!! x x
I hope this place helps as you can reach out here any time x x
I wish i could join an bereavement group but there isnt none local to me. As i suffer agoraphobia i cant travel far from home xxx
Good idea 
Hi Hope
I rearly feel for you and what you are going through at present. I can only concur with all that you are saying. I lost my wife 2 years ago this coming September, we were within 1 month of our golden wedding anniversary. For some reason I’m finding this year much harder than last year (2023) Whilst I have a good supportive family of son and daughter and also a reasonable social life and friends, for some reason, this year, the feelings of lonliness in being alone in all this ,have increased dramatically .That feeling of this is my lot in life, and I am finding this all quite distressing for some on known reason . I havent any answers to this but to plod on and take comfort from any high to try and counter the many lows. This morning for instance, I felt rearly, rearly low, whether its this wonderful summer we are having or what, I dont know. Then my son rang up from Bristol and said he was coming up to see me and stop over. When he came up he said come on and we went out for the day up to the peak district. This raised my sprits a lot and for me what was a rearly low day turned into a high, so I take that as a plus. So there we are, the lows and the highs! I dont know what the answer is, only to keep soldiering on. I hope you find your way forward in all of this situation we all have been left to carry by the loss of a loved one and only to say I feel totally what you are going through. God bless
Thank you for your kind words.
You’re totally right. We have to make the most of all the good things that happen.
My friend invited me out unexpectedly today to a Spanish Fiesta afternoon at a local club. There was a couple of musicians playing Spanish guitars and freshly cooked paella and it was a fun afternoon.
I’m very grateful that she asked me to go or I would have just been sitting at home pondering on stuff.
I’ve made my mind up to join as many new clubs as I can fit in my schedule to meet new people and keep busy. I’m going to book a holiday too.
Thank you for responding to my post. All the best to you.
You’ve said it all. Iv found that , im on my own dont see any one, then i think people got their own lifes. But they know who 2 phone when they need a shoulder 2 cry on.
I dont see people i was good 2 anymore.
Yep that’s what happens 
people fall away ! They know you need support you see and they run a mile !!! Xxx
Sometimes in grief you feel like you are making ‘progress’, getting ‘better’ (whatever better looks like) and then you can have a day where you do feel like you have taken several steps back. I am not sure if one is really going backwards and forwards; perhaps this is the normal trajectory?
I feel like there is a lot of emphasis on getting over, moving forward and generally recovering when in fact it is ok to be in the thick of the sadness and to just be wherever one is, crying, laughing, wallowing, walking, retreating or reaching out. x x
Ibtotallt agree ! All this crap these days about being “positive” isnt there ! But … "its ok not to be ok "
I totally agree Viv5 a lot is put on you to get over it and I do not know why is it because the old adage of the “Stiff upper lip” attitude likes of come on now you must get over this and get on with life but like you I believe you are OK to be wherever you want to be in grief xx
Absolutely 
as iv found out. Well said.
Ive had enough today … having a bad.time. My mum is poorly.in hospital and shes 84 and dunno.if she will get better or not its that old friend sadness coming to visit me again … sorry … sometimes you.just think… whats the flipping point of it all ? Well.i do anyway !!! x