Thanks luv xx
2 Likes
Hugs Debs xx
2 Likes
Hug,
11 months for me. The same, wife was 57 years old, lost to cancer, and I miss her every day,…I recognise you post in every word you say, you are not alone. 
4 Likes
Bless you Pearson. Its comforting words. I lost my hubby 4 weeks ago to heart failure. Life seens hard and pointless at the moment. Xx
3 Likes
I finished work yesterday for the 6 week break. I didnt feel anything but today has been a terrible day. I cant stop crying looking at a main photo of Darren in the living room. My daughter came over so we went out for lunch. She asked me if I was on any medication because I am not myself. I feel like a robot daily as previous message. Half of me has died with Darren. I am having my grandson tomorrow so hopefully I can chirp up for when he gets here.
3 Likes
Yeh its hard isnt it. I have had an awful day today too and its all caught up with me too !! If that helps !! X
3 Likes
Saturdays are especially bad as we would spontaneously go off and do something especially in this weather. Or we would curl up and have a film day always something and i dont have that. I have gone back to crafting i forgot how much I enjoyed it. I am creating diamond art at the moment. It still doesnt remove the ache i feel. I feel that half of me has just disappeared. Thank you for replying
3 Likes
Hi
It doesn’t sound at all selfish. You are just speaking your truth. Of course you have changed alter your loss and so has your relationships with others. I think it’s them that are being selfish rather than you. You don’t fit the role that they were used to anymore. I noticed it change in my relationships with my 2 children when I moved 500 miles away to nurse my terminally ill Mother and since she has died 10 months ago today they no longer even speak to me and my son won’t even let me FT with his boys. Apparently I’m not the same anymore!! Too bloody right I’m not the same any more I’m a walking mess who thinks I’m going mad at times. Walk around practically all day crying, not able to concentrate etc etc….you know all the usual rubbish that happens when you are cast adrift in the lonely sea of grief and really big waves are dragging you under and you are trying not to drown. Surprisingly that does change people it would appear🤔
You need to concentrate on taking care of yourself. Some self love is needed.
Luv and hugs to you xx
2 Likes
I have had similar problems with my kids @lulujones33 . We gotta be “positive” all the time havent we ? Its ridiculous. My mum very poorly atm too and wont survive. So as well as losing my husband 19 months ago … life sucks. You take care xx
2 Likes
It certainly does !
I was at a friends funeral on Thursday, the first funeral since my husbands in May , she was 35 , and had a 4 year old daughter she was diagnosed in October with cancer and just wanted to be around to see her daughter start school in September and do her hair! Her pitiful wish wasn’t even granted , She came to my husbands funeral even though she knew she didn’t have long herself , so I did her the honour of going to hers ! And it sucks it really does , look after your self it’s hard x
6 Likes
Big hug xx
4 Likes
That was so thoughtful of you
Big hugs
X x
2 Likes
Hi Debs
I know it sounds brutal because it is but we need to look out for ourselves now coz sure as hell no one else is going too. But you are having to deal with your Mum right now.it’s heartbreaking I really don’t know what actually happens to people when death visits someone’s door. . I think a lot of it is they know they can’t help us but are too embarrassed/feel inadequate Idk what the right word is but I was told by my Daughter who is a Nurse Specialist who’s specific area is Pain Management at a Children’s Hospice. She told me 3 weeks after Mums funeral when I was still up in Glasgow literally on my own with my 3 dogs as all the siblings stopped communicating and couldn’t get back to Suffolk because 4 days after the funeral I had to have an emergency operation on my eye and couldn’t fly or drive for 6 weeks that she was “stepping back from me to protect herself”! You would think she really would have behaved better.then went to her Sister in Laws for Christmas Day. My son went to The Maldives. I was left on my own for Christmas Day 10 weeks after losing my Mum. Ditto Mothers Day they were with their own children, my Son going away again. Grief certainly does weird things to people that’s for sure. You take if your self if you can.
Luv and hugs to you xx
2 Likes
11 months on for me - some days I am good, but there does not go a day without me having a tear in my eye. Then I hear the voice of my Julie saying stop it- and be strong and need to carry on. So easy to give up, but I didn’t because I have the voice of my wife telling me to get a grip- so I do , for her and ME. Not easy but getting there ( although I don’t know where, there is) Got my son at home still (in his 20’s, so keeping busy) Also have female friend who I go walking, out, with, which is going well. But again difficult at times because now I feel guilt as well as the bereavement …blimey it’s complicated at times……
4 Likes
You shouldnt feel guilty my husband was 16 years older than me he always told me to find someone new if he was to go first. We had both lost previous partners in 2005 and the lonilness is a killer. Its 5cweeks today since i lost my darling hubby and omg is it hard . I would give up everything if i could just have him back. Xxx
3 Likes
She came to my husbands funeral what 8 weeks before she died herself so she could hug me, ! And then there is me hugging her 35 year old partner saying “this is a shit club to be in , and certainly not one of his age should be in “! X
2 Likes
Aww Jane bless you . Your poor friend how brave was she. Her poor family. I hope they find happiness again. Life is so cruel at times. Xxc
2 Likes
It really is.
Total shit!
Big hugs x
2 Likes
Thanks you @lulujones33 i wull try and look adyer myself snd slow down if necessary 
bloody families hey ! Paun in the … sometimes they can be good and other times flipping awful … my daughters play up too if that helps ! So precious sometimes arent they? xxx
3 Likes