Don’t feel guilty enjoy the company. Your love for your wife will always remain alongside the love for your new friend. It is different. We are sociable creatures and we need to find a role for ourselves in our new lives.
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Debs, I blame their Mothers:joy:
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Hi @lulujones33 youre right we do have to.look after ourselves. Been to visit my mum today and shes doing ok tbh … plenty of spirit and fight in her yet ! Lol. Thanks for your concern though xxx
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I dunno - dont think they need much help from anyone these days ! Quite capable of doing it all by themselves !!!
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Sending love and hugs. Some days are just rubbish and painful. x x hope you enjoy your time with your Grandson though x x
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I have been out to a mini fest this afternoon. It was lovely spending the afternoon with my grandchildren. Eliza my 7 year old granddaughter was performing so that was nice.
Sadly now i have to go home, its not that i don’t want to its more that i know that i am on my own. I feel guilty for spending a couple of hours out and smiling even if it is fake
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Yesterday I went to my daughters for a barbcue it was lovely playing with my grandaughter Daisy who isc3 but the empitness when i come home is so over whelming, no one to talk too no one to say well that was nice. The tears are pouring as i write this as I face another lonely night. Love jo xxc
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I think we have all learnt to “fake” smile as we don’t want people to think we are not having a “nice “ time ! And we want to appear we are “ok”!
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Its horrible how quickly emotions change. 
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yes I visited a place I use to go with my husband yesterday , I was ok and felt proud of myself, but later in the evening floods of tears x
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Today i woke up at 4.30am. This has been a regular thing since Darren passed. I have just sat looking into space why the world goes on around me. I am going out tomorrow to take Darren’s skiing gear back to the shop as he didnt get chance to wear them so still all tagged. I need to push myself to do this as i can exchange them for something else. I would keep everything, these have never been used/worn. I am trying to be positive as I am going to get my grandchildren some bits.
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Hiya Debs
That’s very good to hear. A Wee Warrior Woman as they would say in Glasgow.
Xx
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Indeed !! Xxx
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Thank you for this x x
When you think how many people must be going through this, their own personal version of hell, its so weird that no-one seems to talk about it. Perhaps it’s because they know nothing can make it better. People don’t like to feel helpless. They don’t understand that just by literally, physically being with you when you’re grieving, just by listening to you and being sympathetic, they’re helping you. Just offer to make tea, or just sit and talk, it can help people get through the bad days. Almost 6 months since I lost my husband of 32 years suddenly and unexpectedly. Today I’m having a bad day. Much love to all who are also having a bad day.
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Sending love, hugs and understanding x x
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We had been together for 32 years as well we met at school and were together from 14. Its been 5 months since his car accident. We have moved and the last vig present i received from him was an inflateable hot tub as i suffer from chronic pain. We have just moved. I went out yesterday whilst my son and Darrens best friend were sorting out the garden. I got a call the hot tub wouldnt inflate so in the move it must have got punctured. I was crying on the phone. I got home to a brand new one being erected in the garden. They had both gone out of the way to purchase a new. I felt guilty at the time as I shouldn’t have reacted in the way i did.
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Yeh you’re right so many going through this ! Im not sure if its cos nothing can make it better ? I think its more like complacency and laziness because they dont want to understand !! Sorry but im more cynical than you ! There are some who want to help thats true but a lot of its just sheer ignorance and laziness imo xx
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I had a bad day and commented online and one friend sent message back saying please reach out you put such a show of coping and being in control that I didn’t know you had days like this. It meant a lot but it’s hard to make yourself that vulnerable. Self preservation but it drives people away. We need to be more open maybe but then you don’t want to bring everyone down with you.
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I understand that cooki i apologise for been upset, dont want to make other feel bad. Its 7 weeksctoday and omg does it hurt. Xx
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