@Scarl34 i know how you feel, I really thought I was moving on and managing earlier this week. But yesterday and today I feel worse than ever. Do you think it’s that dreaded C word that is the trigger, that lovely cuddly happy family time of the year when we are all so happy and life is perfect. Well I’ve news, life is sh&t for some of us and no matter how hard we try it’s still sh&t. My sister asked if we should wear out Christmas jumpers tomorrow!!! I just want to stay in bed but she’s coming to stay overnight…… I know she thinks she’s being kind but Christmas jumpers, nooooo !
Sending love xx
1 Like
@Kathy6 i definitely don’t think it’s helping with it coming up… i was speaking to a friend at the school earlier and said i just feel like i died that day, but still here in person and just don’t know how to live and do the normal ‘day to day things’ i feel like iv lost my whole existence and knowledge… i dont even know how im getting through the days…
yes your sister is just trying to be kind and caring, i have that with my mum she really tries to pick me up bless her but inside i am screaming xx
@Scarl34 you put that so well it’s like part of us dies with them and it’s so hard to keep living. I admire people who say that our loved ones would want us to be happy and I dare say they would, but it’s just an impossible thing for us to do try as we might. It’s good to hear from you, I’m know how hard it is, dont expect too much from yourself, you have a lot of love around you, sending love xx
1 Like
My wife felt guilty herself as her illness became worse and she was unable to join in family occasions with either family and that we were unable to visit our daughter and her family in Canada 
! I tried to console her and she made me promise to visit her as soon as circumstances changed.
She was my wife my life my everything and i didn’t feel it was a problem to me at the time but now I have to pick up the pieces and move on.
She will me in my heart and my mind forever and I will love her until the end of time
3 Likes
Ypure very early days @Scarl34 i was just like you. Thought i was gonna have a heart attack pain was that bad ! It rrally is amaxing how it makes you so physically weak this grief !!! Now i just cry … a lot xxx
2 Likes
@Deb5 i know it is early days… and i know i have a long way to go, i see peoples posts on here and it’s so sad how even so far down the line the pains still there 
i just hope i can somehow rebuild myself? i feel im letting the kids down where iv just lost myself… xx
3 Likes
Yeh it gets more controllable though ! So there is hope ! Ofcourse we still feel sad because we loved our partner but grief , as the queen said, is the price we pay for love ! Xxx
2 Likes
@Scarl34
You’re not letting yourself or your children down but you can help each other to work through this together. Nice things that dad loved to do
Don’t pile extra pressure on yourself - not sure how old they are but try to come up with things as a family.
My wife loved swimming before she got ill, shopping (obviously 
), family meals, baking cookies and cakes ……
2 Likes
@Cat_fan they’re 9, 16, 19 we are super close but all struggling in so many different ways… my youngest is coping the best out of us all she is so innocent and just talks about her daddy constantly and all the good
times/memories…
i think i just need to accept im still in such early days so have to go through this because there’s no way of avoiding it
2 Likes
That’s quite an age range but your 9 year old has a good approach and perhaps something to build on! Happy memories of her daddy !
Perhaps some 1:1 time with her would be good for you both and just see as you go !
Thinking of you 
2 Likes
No my bereavment counsellor said that … we have to go through it … theres no shortcut … but we can still look after ourselves. And thats what you must do for him ! Lots of self care- baths/showers - buy some lovely stuff for it 
i bought lavender cos found that good for relaxing xxx
2 Likes
@Deb5 iv literally lost all interest in myself, which is awful as i have always been so particular in looking after myself. now i just don’t care, maybe i need to force myself and that will help a little? iv really withdrawn from everyone/everything and just don’t do anything, go anywhere. expect the school run, work, back home then to hide away x
2 Likes
Yeh i know … i did that too but if ypu are having a good day grt some nice bath salts/ nice shower gel if you can. Take care xx
1 Like
@Scarl34 i think grief is exhausting, you have 3 other people to look after, I have only myself to think of and I’m so tired which makes the pain so hard. I’m sure you will begin to feel a small improvement in your self soon, just a little bit to give you some encouragement. I hope your councillor will give you coping methods. You can do this, keep strong, bit by bit xx
3 Likes
I’m shattered today and now enjoying a film and a glass of Jamesons with the furry monster (he’s only 5 so he can’t drink )on my chair after a nice long hot soak in the bath.
6 Likes
@Kathy6
He’s my furry friend and my rock, such a sweet boy and a lovely companion. 10kG of Maine Coon attitude
1 Like
@Scarl34
Hi, i survived my birthday thanks to family and great friends, I was dreading it without my husband but with a few tears just about managed. I was wondering how you were today, and hoping that you have managed to raise yourself a little, I hope you are feeling a bit better, sending love and good wishes x
2 Likes
@Kathy6 oh i’m so glad you managed to have a little happiness with your friends and family…
really not coping i just can’t seem to get myself out of this dark hole xx
2 Likes