Hope you sleep well too. Another weekend looming
. Im saving housework till then just hate Sundays. Nowhere to go and nothing to do. Haven’t seen a soul all day. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this. Oh well we’ll see. Do hope you start to feel at least a little better. It’s such early days for you. Take care if yourself… keep in touch jill xx
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@Jay15 I do my housework at the weekend too as a distraction. I dread the weekend coming up. Ver lonely and will not see or talk to anyone. The only person I will tomorrow is my optician for my eye test. I really hate the weekends.
Take care. Love and hugs. Joyce x
@StarGate I hate everyday, still having trouble getting into a good routine. I see your point, weekend can be hard, I really hate going out alone on those days too. Happy couples everywhere. And I usually get very sad. So sometimes, I ask my friend to meet me for Saturday lunch (only perhaps once every 6 weeks, else it would be too much of a imposition : ( , but it is better than nothing). I find it is usually I must take the initiative to ask friends to spend time with me, they would rarely ask me these days. So it seems, I must make new friends to do things with., hopefully I will find some good widowed friends soon, whom we can spend some time together, help with each others’ loneliness.
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Hi Joyce my next chat will be with the dentist. The next day covid jab. (Not sure about that yet) I’m very indecisive at the moment. It’s raining again here and very miserable. Took dog out for 10 minutes. Now what. I don’t know. Everyone seems to have disappeared. Met a woman yesterday and she told me to stop being so pessimistic as i had a moan about being cold. Oh well who cares what people think. Do take care. X jill
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@Jay15 it doesn’t seem to get any easier does it. Are there any groups or places you can go to and be amongst people, I know that is amazingly hard and you probably don’t even feel like you want to. But it might help to offset the loneliness we are all feeling following our loss. Even a bit of a chat with a neighbour helps me not to feel so alone. Sending love x
Hi, i too lost my husband of 54 years together. It feels a very lonely and scared place to be. I have a good family but when im on my own i go to pieces. Mornings hit me hard and many times as well during the day. Dont have an easy answer as to how to cope. Nothing i do eases the pain im in. Sending love and hugs to you as hugs make one feel cared for. Take care, Debbie xx
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Hi Debbie i know it’s so very hard. No-one can understand these awful feelings unless they’ve been through it. I’ve got the dentist next week and my husband always took me. Now I’ve got to go it alone. Sounds stupid but no choice. In December ive got a hospital appointment. (Nothing serious) but it’s the same hospital where the nightmare happened. Sat all night watching him just drift away. Once more on my own. Yes life is hard for all of us on here. Just waiting for something good to happen. I think we all deserve that. I’m sure we’ll all get there hopefully. Just take one day at a time. Love jill xx
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Hi Kathy it’s the isolation that gets to me. We had to move here with my husband’s job. We’ve lived all over with his job and never been short of friends but this place is not for me. We both decided we wanted to move when he got better but it didn’t happen. There are no groups or anything around here. At the moment i will just have to get through it. Maybe spring time ill come to a decision. I wouldn’t want to move in this winter. Keep well. X
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Well I survived the long weekend - just!
On Saturday I went to the opticians and it is the first time in 10 years that I had been on my own. The optician was very fond of my Tony and he said that he misses the chats he had with Tony. Needless to say I was in tears. Had to get some new frames and had to rely on the optician;s opinion that they were OK. Tony normally gave me his opinion. It was a painful first.
My usual walk to the shops on Sunday was also horrible. It used to give me a bit of distraction but not this Sunday. The Christmas songs and decorations reminded me of my loss. I used to enjoy Christmas shopping for presents for Tony and seeing his face light up on Christmas morning when he opened his presents. This will never happen this Christmas and any future Christmases. The thought of this makes me sad. I will not be celebrating Christmans this year (my first without Tony) and I don’t think that I will ever be able to celebrate Christmas again. I have no children so I don’t feel I need to.
The pain after 67 days of losing my darling is just as raw as if it happened yesterday. I will love him always and he will always be in my heart but I will always feel incomplete without him. I still cry every morning and I miss him every single day. The pain, the loss, the sadness, the loneliness and the yearning are still raw. I am not sure when this will ease for me but I will continue to exist daily going through the motions until I meet my Tony again.
Sending all of you love and hugs. xx
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morning @StarGate how we survived another weekend is a miracle. i would say this weekend has been my worst so far, there hasn’t been a break in the pain, anxiety and overall sick feeling. i have really really struggled and been so low.
we haven’t done much at all this weekend and all been very down especially my eldest daughter.
i’m going to collect shaun’s ashes this morning and im sat here just shaking and feeling so overwhelmed i can barely breathe x
Morning @Scarl34 I am so sorry you and you children had a bad weekend. This awful pain, anxiety, sick feeling, loss, shakiness and yearning is a neverending cycle and I can see no end to it at the moment
I feel for you collecting your husband’s ashes. I was in tears when I went to collect Tony’s ashes. I fully understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. I will be thinking of you today.
Sending you special love and extra big hugs. xx
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@StarGate iv put it off for too long i think, i have to do this today as ultimately i have to collect them… it’s just all so overwhelming iv been awake all night panicking and worrying about everything again.
i just feel like my body is shutting down on me… x
@Scarl34 collecting the ashes is such a brave step. Hope it goes as well as it can, we will all be thinking of you.
I haven’t even thought about doing it yet. Just not brave enough.
Hugs to you, and everyone.
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i literally have no choice… he was cremated end of september and i just have to face it.
i am sat here shaking and feel so so sick… xx
@Scarl34 I feel for you. For me it was the anticipation of collecting Tony’s ashes making it final that was difficult. Tears will definitely flow. I don’t know how else to comfort you but I will be thinking of you.
Lots of love. xx
I collected Tonys ashes a few weeks ago and it was fine. I had a bit of him back here with me and i embraced it. Hope you find some comfort in it. Take care. Xx
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@Scarl34 Morning, so sorry you had such a tough weekend and today you have to pick up your husband’s ashes. I have to do that job on Wednesday this week and am also dreading it. But I have a friend who has been through this some years ago and she found collecting the ashes very comforting as it was done out of respect and love for her husband. I hope it gives me that feeling when I go on Wednesday and I hope it gives you a feeling of love and calm today. Please tell me his you got on, I’m sure you will be ok, you loved your man, be strong and I’m sending lots of love, do you have someone going with you? Xx
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@StarGate yes my best friend is picking me up and going with me as i know i wouldn’t be able to face driving home. i just don’t know how i will feel if im honest.
i don’t know if this is why iv felt so much worse the weekend but i know im back of my mind its approaching? x
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thank you… i’m just not sure how i will feel at all 
xx
I can only add that it brought me some comfort that he was home where he was happy. I hope that you will feel the same. I haven’t decided yet what to do with his ashes but at the moment I talk to him all the time.
Lots of love and hugs. xx
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