@StarGate
My friend said it gives her great to have her husbands ashes home, I hope to feel the same on Wednesday when I collect my husband he so wanted to get home, and that Scarl gets comfort from getting her husband home too x
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My daughter came with me to collect Bobs ashes on Friday it was overwhelming but my bob is now with me at home and it has bought me some comfort to know he is close by.my love my world.
One hour at a time
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hi my mags loved christmas so i will put all the tat up and the tree, she would kill me if i did not. she carved christmas decorations and she made all her own bows, i will find putting them on the tree so hard but i will do it , its all part of her. if your tony was the same i urge you to rethink cutting off from what you did together in my opinion is not the way forward, yes you are going to be sad and cry but maybe thats all part of the healing process. like you i cry every morning and i am a strapping lad of 6ft 5 i pick some thing unrelated up and a memory flashes in and i am away. so my advice for what it is worth is do everything you did together once it will be hard some you will do again and some you wont. will it work i dont know i am in the same boat with you. sending hugs phil
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@pippyb I am glad that you are able to put up the Christmas decorations, etc. Iām afraid that I am not able to. It is too painful. I prefer to light a candle for my Tony and be with my memories. x
I must admit i have no ashes. Eveyone handles it differently. I had my husbandās ashes scattered in a beautiful garden on a hill overlooking the countryside. There is no way i could face collecting them. My son collected his dogās ashes and it gives him comfort knowing he is at home with him. Eveyone is different. I too had a bad weekend but i find Monday pretty awful. My confidence has disappeared and plucking up the courage to go shopping. Dentist tomorrow and not looking forward to that. What a misery i am. I do hope you all cope 9k. Thinking of you all. X
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@Jay15 So much you had a bad weekend and a rough start to the week. The miserable weather doesnāt help. You are not being a misery. We all have days like this. Itās hard trying to cope with our grief and navigating through each day. Hope the dentist visit goes well tomorrow. Thinking of you.
Sending you love and hugs. xx
Feel down and depressed and cold. This weather doesnt help, nor does my brain fog. Left cold water tap on full last night and discovered it this morning. Feel useless and depressed. Going to coffee morning hoping to alter my mood, but still have to come back to lonely house.
Mine is 50 years.An unbelievable accident where he went a lake in to save our dog but couldnāt get out . He suffered from lack of oxygen but bravely still went in to help her get out. He lost the oxygen cylinder and passed out and although I went after him with a life preserver I couldnāt find him. You canāt believe the guilt I feel that I let him go in. Im really only here now for my dogs. I have family all around me but really just want to be left alone .
I meant we were 50 years married.
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@JMS1 So sorry for your loss. Such a terrible accident. All of us have felt guilty at some point in our grieving process but if you think about it Iām not sure if you could have stopped him going in after your dog. Your husband sounds like a lovely selfless person and would have gone in even if you tried to stop him. I can feel your pain and I understand you eating to be left alone. However, if you have good family around you, let them help you. This is a good site to get support. All of us here understands what you are going through because we are all on the same awful journey. I am still here because I look after my 91 year old mother who has had a stroke and now housebound and has dementia as well, so I do understand how you feel.
Keep posting here as often as you feel you need to. Take one day at a time. This is what I do to exist in this life I didnāt choose.
Sending you love and hugs. x
Thank you for your kind words. My husband had suffered with heart and lung problems from his mid thirties and on and off Iāve had to care for him. He wasnāt doing too well lately and we wouldnāt normally walk at the lake. Just my other dogs had a bad leg and it seemed a gentler walk for him. Iām pretty sure my husband fainted before he fell and I hope he didnāt know what had happened. I got hypothermia as I stayed in the water above him before the ambulance men made me get out. Iāll never forget the day and if nothing else people must be thankful for every day you get together because I never dreamed we wouldnāt be coming home together.
Thatās just awful but i understand why your husband tried to save your dog. My dog collapsed behind a really heavy settee. He tried to lift it and broke 2 vertebrae in his back. After that he had no feelings in his legs. Ended up in hospital where he caught covid and pneumonia. Due to a lung transplant 21 years ago had no immunity . He was in there 5 weeks and didnāt survive. Please donāt blame yourself it was one terrible accident. Take care. X
Thatās so awful for you. Iāve heard it so many times about people ending up in hospital with COVID. Itās a terrible thing. Especially having gone through so much. I often looked at my husband struggling and think to myself what a terrible thing not to be able to breathe properly. He was so fit when he was young.
Hi Joyce good job i double checked yhe dentist is Wednesday not tomorrow. Thatās the way i am with this fog brain. Managed the supermarket this morning. Hope your coping ok. This awful feeling seems to come in waves. Itās very cold and gloomy here. Put the heating on and watching mindless tv. Just hope the rain stops soon. Nobody about round here. Probably take dog out later. Got to decide what to do with the rest of my life. Havenāt a clue. I feel totally lost today hope tomorrow is better. Take care. X jill
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Yes my husband was on oxygen 24hrs 7 days a week until the transplant. really before . We were so very careful afterwards as not allowed to get near anyone with even a cold etc. When he was i hospital i donāt think they knew how to treat transplant patients (medication). I had to phone the transplant team to let them know what was going on.it was a total nightmare. It all happened during the doctors strike which didnāt help. Maybe one day we might all feel a bit better. Just hope so. Take care.
@Jay15 Hi Jill, yes itās a good thing you checked your dental appointment. I know the feeling of fog brain. Good that you managed to get to the supermarket. Well done. I am struggling and like you say the awful feeling comes in waves with no warning. Itās hard isnāt it? Itās cold, gloomy and raining here still. Hope you managed to take your dog out for a walk. I canāt think about the future yet and I understand the feeling of being lost.
Hope tomorrow will be more tolerable than today for you and all of us.
Take care. Sending you lots of love and hugs. Joyce x
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I fully understand how you feel, I lost my wife three months ago, after a long battle with cancer, the last 12 months were horrendous, I ask myself the same questions as you, we were married for 57 years, I am taking it one day at a time, I still talk to her, and feel her presence, as you can see by the replies, you are not alone, LOVE a blessing and a curse, at times like this, like you I find mealtimes particularly hard, like you I hope things will get easier. It will never go away, I guess we must find a way to live with it.
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@Dove12 I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. 57 years married is a long time and I feel your pain. You are right. I agree that LOVE is a blessing and a curse for us. The more deeply we love our partners, the more painful the loss we feel. It is hard.
I hope that you, me and everyone on here manage to find things getting a little easier. Iām just not sure when that will be but live in hope one day at a time.
Sending you love and hugs. x
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Thank you, yes HOPE,
The last thing in Pandoraās Box, you see you still have love to give, you are part of the way there,
Love n hugs to you too,
Most important, be kind to yourself.
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I do think joining this group helps. It allows you to vent your feelings. I was married for 54 years. Itās been 7 months ago now and to be honest still got an awful empty feeling ā¦I hate going it alone but have no choice. Maybe one day we will all feel a bit better who knows. Hope you have family and friends to help you through this awful time. Take care x