Sharing our thoughts and feelings is a journey, hopefully we will reach a destination that puts us in a better place,
It going to take a fair bit of courage,
Take Care.
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It certainly does take a lot of courage. Iâve bottled things up forn7 months and it certainly exploded today. My old dog wasnât very well again this morning and i had to get to the dentist. No-one to talk to here about what to do so gave him some medication and hope he would improve. When getting up from having teeth done i nearly fainted. (Iâm not one for fainting) and had this awful feeling of dread come over me. Had to get a taxi home. Dog had improved but i just started to sob. I just couldnât stop. To top it all off my neighbour came to say goodbye as they are moving tomorrow. That started me crying again. I donât understand after 7 months of living alone and more or less coping i feel worse than ever. Crazy isnât it. Hope tomorrow is a better day. Take care. Youâre not alone in the way you feel.
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Hi @Jay15,
Sorry that you are having a particularly tough day. I hope that at least the light headedness has passed. Certainly I have found that it is very unpredictable as to just how well or otherwise I will cope. This makes me very cautious in making any commitments that I cannot relatively easily renege on. Yet another aspect of grief that you kind of have to find some way of coping with.
Yup, I hope tomorrow is a better day.
Best wishes.
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Today is 10 weeks (70 days) since I lost my husband Tony - my life partner, my soulmate, the love of my life, my other half which made me whole. It seems like only yesterday this happened and it seems unreal that this amount of time has passed and people have moved on with their lives. For me time and my life as I knew it stopped on 21st September. I am not sure how I have made it this far. I wake up every morning and realise he is not here and the tears flow which I have no control over. I get through the day by thinking (imagining) that he is at work, then the evenings and weekends come and my world crashes.
There are times in the day when my mind wanders from work and the realisation that I have lost Tony hits me and the waves of sadness for the life we have lost comes on and the tears start flowing. On some level I know that I have lost him but on another level it doesnât seem real to me and that he will be coming home every day.
I did not expect that he would be taken away from me so soon but I know that he is in a better place and not in pain anymore. This does not stop the pain, the sadness, the loneliness and the yearning which is still very raw.
I miss him - ta;lking to him, his smile, his wicked sense of humour, his hugs, his kisses, just being with him. I will always love him and he will be in my heart forever even though itâs broken.
I wake up every morning at the unearthly hour of 04:00 AM at the moment and go through the motions of the day - existing in this nightmare life (not by choice) and not being able to get out of it. I donât know when this nightmare will end if ever, The unbearable pain will always be there I feel.
Christmas looming is hard for me and I cannot celebrate this day at all or New Year. It is just too painful.
All I can do is take one day at a time until I am with my tony again. In the meantime hoping that there will be some ease in the intensity of my pain.
Sending love and hugs to everyone. Hope that you have a better day today. xx
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@StarGate I can feel your pain in every word youâve written.
Itâs no comfort to you but there are other people who are feeling exactly the same.
Hugs
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@Scarl34 Thank you. Same as well sending you lots of love and hugs every day as I know what you are going through as well. 
xx
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@StarGate itâs a hard journey indeed, keep moving on and hopefully day by day you will gradually get some peace. Sending love x
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@ Jay15 Things sometimes have a way to pile up on us during our grief. It happened to me more than once. Please allow yourself time, be kind to yourself⌠your dog knows how you take care of him (perhaps try internet search if help is not available). We must become our own best friend now⌠until the day we unite with our beloved again⌠Take care, God loves you and a prayer to you.
@Kathy6 morning 
not the best, i did manage to sleep a little better last night (still a very restless broken sleep) i woke this morning felt ok for about 2-3 mins then could feel the wave of the pain/anxiety/sickness kicking in 
it really is like groundhog dayâŚ
sending you all my love how are you this morning? x x
@Scarl34 Morning, not too bad so far this morning , I picked up Carls ashes yesterday which was amazingly hard, I had a very sad day with a lot of tears. I was hoping that it would give me some peace having them home, I hope it will feel right. I have a few jobs to do today so will focus on those.
I hope your day goes ok, I know how hard it is, sending love xx
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i picked shaunâs up on monday so i know exactly what you mean 
it was so overwhelming and i couldnât control myself with cryingâŚ
my little girl is home from school full up with a cold so iâm just trying to keep busy about the house but itâs going to be another long tough dayâŚ
glad you have a few things to hopefully distract for a whileâŚ
xx
Thanks for that. I seemed to shed 7 months of tears yesterday. Today holding on but just feel raw and empty inside. Just donât know whatâs going on. Now my neighbours have gone itâs worse. Hopefully this feeling will go soon. Usually i force myself to go out but canât face it today. My dog actually wanted to out this morning and although itâs freezing out there i took him. Didnât see a soul but Iâm just not in the mood for idle chatting today. Anywaybtake care. X jill
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I donât know why but yesterday was a bad day for me as well, it started o.k. then all of a sudden a big black cloud seemed to envelope me, cried most of the day, couldnât shake it off, had a very restless night, up at 2: oâclock , much calmer today,
Letâs hope it stays that way, !!
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Thanks. I donât know what on earth happened yesterday. So many tears. It was like a waterfall. Just a bit wary of going out now. Just feel numb. Hopefully one day we might be back to feeling better. I was going to say back to normal but canât see that yet . Take care jill
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As you say, life will never be normal, as we knew it, ! We have to make a new kind of normal, itâll take time, but I am hopeful we will get there,
Best Wishes, Take Care.
@Scarl34 i hope your little girl gets better soon, itâs that time of year for colds and sniffles isnât it.
Im hoping Iâve shed todayâs tears yesterday when collecting the ashes, but I doubt it. Keep going, Iâm sure you are doing a great job, lots of love x
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@Dove12
This site is a great site for us, we are all experiencing grief and itâs nothing that people can understand unless they are going through the same thing. There is nothing to say only , keep going one step at a time, day by day, sending love xx