Thank you. Sending love back. XX. I try to remain positive and to keep busy,
Fortunately from the age of 14, I can cook, wash, clean, sew , iron etc.
But the last year was pretty intense, looking after my brave. Courageous wife, it was like hitting a brick wall when it all stopped, !!
I feel so sad. It feels like I have gone back to 9 weeks ago when I first lost Steve. I am crying all the time, feeling sick and lonely beyond belief. I canāt believe last week I thought I was coming to terms with my loss. Definitely back to square 1. And people around me just think I am getting on with it. Have ordered a ring using some of Steves ashes and an urn gor him at home. Hope these things bring me comfort.
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@Juliebobs I am so sorry that you are having a bad day. I feel and understand your pain. It seems like 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Going through the whole process again and itās tough. People canāt see our pain and donāt understand. I hope that the ring and ashes bring you comfort. Thinking of you. Take one day at a time and hope that it is better than the last one.
Sending you lots of love and hugs. xx
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Going for a longish walk in the fresh air helps take your mind off things I find. It helps that I have a dog which needs to go out a few times a day. Grief is a horrible thing and I know exactly how you feel.
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@Nap Thank you. Unfortunately, I canāt go out for a lo walk. I look after my 91 year old mother who canāt be left on her own. I agree that grief is a horrible thing that we have to go through not by choice. Enjoy your walks with your dog. Take care. Love. x
Hi Stargate, I was in a similar position before my wife died. I bought a folding electric wheelchair that fits in the boot of the car and took her to the local park. Hope this helps, take care
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Hi @Juliebobs,
I am sorry you are having a particularly ghastly day. I understand how you are feeling. I was pottering around earlier when out of the blue an intense wave of unfathomable sadness and loss washed over me. Crushing. Has wiped me out for the rest of the day.
Come January it will be two years since my gorgeous Christine died. My experience is that grieving is not linear. Just because you felt that you were coping better one day does not mean that tomorrow will be the same or better and vice versa. This unpredictability in itself is yet another aspect of grief that can be challenging to navigate. I can feel that I am coping with the day well and then something will trigger awful memories and intense emotions, or they will arise unbidden and thatās me done for.
I hope you do find some comfort or at least get a little respite from your sadness.
Best wishes to you.
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Hi @StarGate,
I completely understand what you say and how you are feeling. It is ghastly, it truly is.
For me, I have found that these thoughts of āwhen will this nightmare endā, āsurely it will get betterā, āit will never get betterā, āI must cope better!ā etc etc are not helpful and are actually undermining, bordering on self torture. Both of which we can well do without even at the best of times let alone the worst.
As you say, day by day and hour by hour seems to be the most useful focus. But of course dispensing with such thoughts is easier said than done.
Strength and best wishes to you. x
Good advice, we keep trying dont we, itās torture isnāt it, keep strong x
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Unfortunately i struggle with walking 9n my own. Steve and I walked for miles but I have RA and had a bleed on the brainn 6 years ago n hadvto learn to walk again. Never realised how Steve looked after me. Thanks for all suppirt. In many groups but this is best. Xx
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I get that surge of anxiety every morning. Takes ages to lift after the tears have gone and leaves me in a state of fear.
Youāre not on your own there. 7 months and Iāve been coping as best i can. Yesterday all changed. I nearly fainted in the dentist. I donāt know what happened but it all came back to me. Got home and i think i cried 7 months of tears. Today feel sick light headed and dreadful. To be honest Iāve never had such horrible feel8ngs6
Sorry pressed wrong button. Thatās the way i am today. Anyway just hope itās get better one day. Jill
@Jay15
So sorry to hear this Jay, itās a horrible place to be I sympathise and feel for you. All the best x
Hi thanks for that. I donāt feel as bad today. Forced myself out although itās freezing. Iām seriously thinking about the future now. Hopefully move in the spring. (Not a very friendly place here). I canāt do anything at the moment as my dog is nearly 18yrs and although still going strong i donāt think he could take a move. He was ny husbands dog and now only got me to rely on. Probably downsize as too big for me. Anyway thingās have got to get better than just existing. Keep well abd take care. Jill x
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Your children will shine if you remember him through them. Remember the good times as well
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@Scarl34 you are doing an amazing job, we can see and feel how hard and sad it is. Itās been a hard week here too, sending love x
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