@Kathy6 it’s getting worse each day 
sending you lots of love xx
@Scarl34 I have really hard days but some small periods of relief that don’t last long. I’m guessing this is as good as it is going to be. The build up to Christmas is giving me a lot of stress, I wish it was over, it’s so emotional. I am trying to pretend it’s not happening, along with my birthday next week. No special person to write my card and buy my special gift. Keep going Scarl, you are a star x
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@Kathy6 yes i think christmas coming is starting to hit me hard… it’s just everywhere and unavoidable… it was my birthday last week and it was horrible…
i really don’t feel i can keep going
Yup this Christmas frenzy is just vile. Radio, TV, papers etc.
I don’t begrudge others their Christmas but please don’t try to stuff it down my throat and infect me with false cheer. For me this is a ghastly time of year that can be very challenging indeed. I simply want nothing to do with it and to be left alone.
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I feel the same. Our anniversary was 4 days after the funeral, my husband died suddenly 11 weeks ago tomorrow, his birthday is 14th Dec and the festive season to contend with. I also want to just be left alone.I have no idea how I’ll get through it but it might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back… I’m just glad to have this support network .
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Hi @Mist2,
Yes, this forum is excellent thanks to the folk who talk here. No answers of course but understanding and support a plenty.
Just keep talking, I think that may be some help.
Best wishes to you.
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@Mist2 i know how you feel, such an emotional time of the year to be going through this, any time is awful I guess but the family sentiment etc is constantly in your face, will be glad when it’s over, keep strong x
Hi @JerryH and @Kathy6
Thank you for your support.I’m sure that many of us are still trying to process what has happened, and now we’re thrust into a world of happy, smiley people on the television and we pass shops where we used to buy gifts for our loved ones. I will just get through it on my own, we didn’t have a family and although I’m invited to my brother ‘s home I would rather not sit there trying to put a brave face on it, when I actually feel like a pressure cooker with a lid that’s about to blow off with the sheer effort of not spoiling it for anyone else.
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Me too. I’ve decidednto forget Christmas. I’ve decided to stay on my own. Sounds miserable but i don’t want to spoil it for others. I look on it as only one day. After Christmas my husband’s birthday and to follow our anniversary. Sooner everything is over the better. Sounds awful doesn’t it but never felt so low in all my life. Had a meltdown a couple of days ago just hope that doesn’t happen again. It came out of nowhere. Take care.x
I fully understand where you are coming from, I have even given ALL MY Decorations to charity shops, Christmas will Never be the same again, !! I will have to have Christmas dinner with my daughter or she will be on her own, I had a meltdown a couple of days ago as well, just came out of the blue, !!! Sending love. Be thinking of you on Xmas Day, please be as kind to yourself as you can, !!
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You too. Unfortunately i was in the dentist when i started to feel odd but managed to hold it together. Had to get a taxi home and once indoors started sobbing. Heart pounding and found it hard to breathe. Quite scary and like you don’t know where it came from. Just hope it doesn’t happen again. Maybe this time of year doesn’t help. Just want to feel normal again . Take care and hopefully one day we’ll all be able to cope again. Jill
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This is very uncanny, I kid you not. !! I am not trying to empathise and patronise, please believe me when I say. This is exactly what happened to me a month ago, shaking and hard to breath, sobbing like a child, we used to visit the dentist together,
Hi - sorry to hear you are struggling-my world fell apart 7 months ago when my gorgeous lovely husband died in front of me and I tried to save him but I couldn’t. It’s just awful, everyone says time is a healer but I’m still waiting but I just wanted to let you know your not alone in your grief- this community is a great resource and we’re all in a bad place but here for each other.
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@ClareB1962
It’s hard to see a life ahead that goes anywhere near matching our chosen one, the one that is behind us, the one with our loved one. This forum is a great help and support, take care lots of love x
This has got to be the absolutely hardest time to get through - I’ve texted a few people tonight and most people are busy - so please try and hang on in- I sure it’ll be great
Yes I think this time of year is making us all feel worse - everyone is supposed be happy and embracing the season of goodwill and all I can think about is what I would have been doing with Paul and then the anger and sadness that he’s not here starts to build - it’s just awful wish I could fall asleep until it’s all over . X
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Just phoned Samaritans what a waste of time that was - he was no help at all just silent at the end of the phone
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@ClareB1962 , someone just jet off a firework near my house that woke me, I have enough trouble sleeping without that!!
Oh how we miss our partners, I could say especially at times like this, but it’s all the time, please keep communicating on here, there are many people grieving like us. It certainly helps to have others who understand how hard it is, sending love x
Try Silverline they will talk to you. I found Samaritans useless. Pity we have to ring anyone, but need to speak to someone at times,
I must agree about samaritans. I spoke to someone many years ago when my dad died and also my best friend died. No help at all. I certainly wouldn’t bother now when I’m at my lowest. Had a meltdown this week about my husband and they are the last people i would speak to. You’re right about people being “busy”. Lots attended his funeral but not one has bothered to phone or call. It’s 7 months on now and must say i feel worse. Unless people have been through this they just don’t understand the enormity of it. Take care x
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