I feel for you @StarGate. I really do. I understand exactly what you are saying. The only comfort I can offer is to let you know that you are not alone in feeling this intensely.
Best wishes to you. x
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Iâve just been catching up on the last few messages - weâre all having just the worst time imaginable and none of us ever thought our lives would be like this did we? Life is not fair and I feel a constant ache in my heart and wish I could have my old life back but thatâs never going to happen. Iâm trying to find a way to think about this life as it is now and I know that the only person that can change it is me. Reading everyoneâs messages is a real help for me and in a strange way its a comfort when you realise that thereâs others out there who care and truly do understand what weâre all going through. I hope we can all find happiness again although it will never ever be the same.
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I feel exactly the same, its awful I cant even listen to a Christmas song if it comes on the radio or TV, first year without my darling husband in over 30 years.
been gone only since September and im broken 
without him x
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Me too and i received some Christmas cards today addressed to just me. Upset me.
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I received my first Christmas card yesterday and it really upset me too. I just donât want to know about Christmas, itâs just highlighting the terrible change in all our lives.
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Why do people send cards saying hope you have a good time??? They just donât understand do they- how can any of us have a good time when weâre nursing a broken heart and sitting at a table without our beloved husband with us. More sympathies are needed but people just donât get it do they.
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@ClareB1962 They really donât understand they have no idea, sadly one day they might, I wouldnât wish this on anybody. I have a couple of cards with kind notes in them which is also sad. Forget Christmas I think I hate it, love to all x
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Ive received one card so far i wonât be putting it up and told people Iâm not doing Christmas. All the hype is really getting me down so i listen to the news channel all day. The house across the way from me.is covered in lights and looks lovely. Massive tree in the window all lit up. But itâs really in my face. I donât blame them as i said it really does look good but there is no way i can get away from it. Just be glad when itâs over. I sound like a right misery. Not me at all. Hope weâre all in a better place one day.
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Dont know why ppl could send a Christmas card, if i get any they will go in the bin.
i just want Christmas and this pain to go away 
Iâve had quite a few cards. All say have a merry Christmas and Happy New year. People just donât think. Iâm not putting them up. I listen to news channels all day. Canât bare the old songs. Sorry bit Iâm a right misery. Not me at all but i just donât care. Take care x
Iâve had one too. Whatâs more itâs a humorous one, and from some close friends.
I canât understand why they bothered to waste money on it. Itâs gone in a drawer.
They also want me to spend New Years Eve with them, as usual, and canât understand why I donât want to. âWe (not helpful) donât think you should be on your ownâŚ.â
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You are not a misery @Jay15, we all feel the same. The whole Christmas package is too much to bear most of the time. To receive cards saying âHappy Christmasâ etc., is thoughtless and meaningless. People just do not think.
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I really do understand its thoughtless and hurtful. how can we have a good Christmas without our loved ones.
i just want to spend it on my own thinking of my darling husband and our precious memories.
sending love to you
I canât believe someone would send a humorous one. What on earth were they thinking. A normal on is bad enough for me. Must admit Iâve bought some cards but canât bring myself to post them. No one has bothered to phone me or even come round. The only one that came round told me hiw awful i looked only in stronger words. I wouldnât let her in as i was having a real bad day. Havenât seen her since. Donât want her here again. You certainly find out who your friends are at a time like this. Take care. X
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what you are not getting is that it there way of trying to help. i have had some wonderful cards with very personal messages and i have found some comfort in them. the rest of the world is carrying on and we must find a way of carrying on with it, i have all my christmas decorations up, my maggs loved christrmas and she would have gone mad if i hadnt put them up, granted it was the hardest thing to do but i did it.
my message is sooner or later we have to carry on and i know that hurts but it has to be done, i am not saying get back to normal because i know there is no normal. what i am saying is you will have to get on with life. your new life without your loved one cause they aint comming back. so have the best time you can with or without christmas. i know the love of my life would not want me to do the best i can and i am sure your love ones would want the same. are thier any of you who dont think they would⌠lots of love to all phil
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I suppose youâre right. But a bit too soon for me. One day i will feel normal again hope so whatever normal. Pleased to hear youâre getting on with life. Everyone is different the way they handle things. Take care.
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Hope youâre ok my lovely
peope are so insensitive.
like you i dont see many people ether.
My own mother doesnât even contact me.
she told my friend thst i need to get on with my life and move on ! My husband only passed away in September in a tragic way,a freak accident where he fell .How the hell do i move on !
i cried for days wen i heard what she said.
Sending you a big hug 
xx
So sorry about your husband. Yes when i phoned my husbandâs brother to tell him what had happened all he said was sorry to hear that and put the phone down on me. He didnât want to know. Iâve never come across anything like that in my life. There had been a family rift (long story) but that was disgusting. Iâm learning all the time about people and going to start looking after myself and ignore certain people. Take care x
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@pippyb i know we have to move on, but itâs too soon. He only died 10 weeks ago. Maybe in time Iâll be ready but not yet.
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Itâs 3 months today since my husband died suddenly and Iâve mainly avoided going anywhere. But I decided that I would make a big effort to meet my SIL and my 7 year old great niece for lunch. My SIL spent most of the time telling me what fun sheâs had buying new Christmas decorations with my brother and the lovely lunches theyâve had out, and the laughter theyâve had putting up their decorations. I finally said â I wish I was still able to do all that â and burst into tears in the middle of the restaurant. Emmaâs eyes were like saucers and I had to explain that I was just a wee bit sad today. I donât begrudge anyone happiness, I know how precious it is, but Iâm not ready to cope with reminders of what Iâve lost. So Iâll not be rushing out again in a while.
Or am I just being over sensitive?
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