Of course you’re not being oversensitive. When my neighbour (who i didn’t know that well) came to tell me she was moving i just burst out crying. Normally i would have said good luck and see you again. I just said sorry I’m having a bad day. How crazy is that. I don’t normally cry just bottle things up but now the least things set me off. It’s normal. Don’t worry x
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No your not your 7 months for me and thought i was doing a bit better then come december im just crying at the least thing in the supermarket talking to people hearing certain songs or sayings everything realy .I feel frightened. Of the future anxious constantly ,i think its because his birthday is coming up then Christmas day and all the adverts and shops full of christmas and songs i carnt stand it tbh .Wish i didnt have to go out shopping for essentials but if i dont i am more depressed just dont belong anywhere or to anyone now so si sad and feel for all of us just excisting now not living .I had a life and belonged and meant si much to him and he to me and in the blink of an eye its all gone .Im realy struggling and just so dont see a future without him sorry to go on xxx
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Thank you @Jay15 and @Hope5
This is a strange world to be in. I’ve always been quite a self-contained person and I hate feeling this vulnerable. I know I can’t hide away forever but it feels safer for now. I think I would be in a much worse place if I hadn’t found this forum and such nice, kind people who understand. Sadly what unites us is the misery of grief. I also have his birthday next week and don’t know I’ll get through it all.
Hi @Hope5,
Yes, thinking of the future is very challenging.
For me it’s not so much anxiety, more horror. How on earth am I going to get through the coming years feeling as bereft and lost as I do? How do I discover/encounter/forge some way forwards? This past year has been ghastly, but the “festive season” makes it so much worse.
Best wishes to you.
7 months for me too. If i didn’t have my dog i wouldn’t go out at all but can’t put my feelings onto him. I must admit the future is a bit scary. I’m thinking more and more about moving away. I’m dreading next week. I have a hospital appointment. Nothing serious but it’s the same hospital where i spent the night with my husband. I just hope he knew i was there till the end. I’ll be going on my own so just hope i can keep it together. It’s a late appointment so will have all day to think about it. I feel like cancelling but waited a long time for it. My husband always took me to appointments although he wasn’t feeling so good bit I’m going to have to learn to go it alone from now on. I’m sure we’ll all be in a better place one day. Thinking of you all. X
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I wish i had the answers for you but i dont know none of us have a crystal ball do we .I just hope we all find some peace and comfort soon xx
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Its scary having to go it alone we went every where together and nothing was any trouble to him .my family live abroad so its worse .I do hope your appointment turns out ok sometimes the worrying before hand is worse than the actual event .xxx
Thanks for that i think you’re right it’s just the last time i was there was the worst night of my life. My husband was in there for 5 weeks. He went in with pneumonia and while in there caught covid and sepsis. Just grit my teeth and get it over. I’m not bothered about my problem i don’t think it’s serious. Thanks again for your support. Take care. X
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@Mist2 you are not being over sensitive at all. You cry when you need to and sometimes you just have to say something.
Today was a hard day for you, hopefully tomorrow will be better.
@Paddy53
Thank you for your kind words. I wish all of you as peaceful a night as possible and a better day tomorrow. C
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Meant x instead of c. Brain fog again! X
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i understand your grief and it is so natural my wife passed in august, but she was a very practical lady. she loved christmas and would go mad at me if i hadnt put all the christmas stuff up. i am not saying its the right way but what would your loved ones want? i have not even started to come to turns with losing mags, but your futures are in your hands, it is easy to sit alone and feel sorry for yourselves but it dont help anyone. i have a good cry every morning and then shake myself and get on with whatever i need to do that day. its not easy but as she would have said sitting moping never sorted anything out. so have a cry look at memories or what ever you need to do, but sooner or later you have to get on with your life. dont tell me i dont understand because hundreds and thousands of us have lost half of us, and we cope we have to, i know i will never be whole again. sending love to all phil
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no you are wrong, i am not getting on with life but i am managing to cope without my lovely Mags.
@pippyb you are so right, people ask if I’m only, I say yes, BUT I’m never going to be ok, how can we be. We might be existing but life is never ok. Take care x
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Pleased to see you are managing to cope. I am certainly not moping about and feeling sorry for myself… i feel sorry for my wonderful husband of 54 yrs. The suffering he went through. I don’t think any of us feel sorry for ourselves. Yes we feel sorry about our loss . We all have to carry on but some people are stronger than others. Take care.
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12 weeks (84 days) since I lost my beloved husband Tony. I am not sure how this is now 12 weeks since I lost him. It feels like it is only yesterday that I lost tony. Time is flying by and people are getting on with their lives but my life as I knew it stopped the day I lost Tony. The pain is still very raw. The sadness, loneliness and longing continues to be unbearable. I cry every morning and have done since I lost Tony and during the day when the wave hits me (can be triggered by little things or for no apparent reason). People tell me that I should be grateful that I had 46 and a half years with Tony. This is not enough - our future was stolen from us and all our plans and dreams are now a pile of ashes. We thought that we would grow old together but Tony was taken from me too soon.
I miss him 24/7 every day. I still expect him to walk through the door every evening.
I miss talking to him, seeing his smile, his big hugs and kisses, his sense of humour, just him being with him. He was my world, my soulmate, my best friend, my other half, the love of my life. Tony was the only one in the whole world who loved me unconditionally. I will never be whole again.
I feel lost, lonely and not sure what I am supposed to be doing now.
I love my husband very much and I always will and he will be in my heart forever. This pain will forever be with me but I hope as people on here have said that it will become bearable.
The future for me is uncertain as I cannot envisage it without Tony. so for the moment I continue to exist one day at a time, going through the motions.
This is a particularly hard time for me so for me the right thing to do is not to celebrate Christmas but I will light a candle for Tony and think of all the wonderful memories we had and raise a glass of wine to Tony for loving me for the 46 and a half years and for being a wonderful, amazing husband for 40 years.
I hope that everyone here manages to navigate this painful period and find some peace.
Sending everyone love and hugs. xx
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@StarGate it was 14 weeks for me yesterday. i feel every word you wrote, and i am so sorry for your loss of your beloved Tony! it’s the worst pain i know.
i’m struggling so so much and just not sure how much longer i can try and keep myself going.
sending you so much love x x
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I totally understand where you both are coming from.
I lost my darling husband in September, it was very sudden, no illness, it was a tragic accident.
i crey every single day, im absolutely lost without him, all i want is to be with him.
I cant move on without him hes my whole world, people don’t understand the pain we are going through, i never see anyone now except my 2 daughters wen they visit.
i feel people think that we are ok wen we’re definitely not.
the pain is unbearable 
Sending love xx
@Scarl34 Thank you. I feel your pain too. This is such a rotten hand we have been dealt Thinking of you and hope we make it through today. Here for you if you ever need to talk. Take care. Sending you lots of love and big hugs. xx
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@Mackay13 I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand what you are going through. I lost my husband in September too unexpectedly. I don’t have any family or friends near me so no one visits me. Do lean on your daughters and accept any help they offer you.
Take care. Sending you love and hugs. xx
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