@Angel1309 Thank you and I am so sorry for your loss. It’s a horrible journey we are all on. I will always love my husband and he will fore be in my heart. The memories we made will be carried with me forever and never forgotten. I agree that we all have to stay strong with the hope that eventually we will find some relief from the pain of our loss.
Sending you love and hugs. xx
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Sending love & hugs to you & everyone xx
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@StarGate I am so sorry for your loss. Like you, I have also recently suddenly lost my Husband, love of my life, soulmate and very best friend. It’s been 10 weeks today and it was his birthday on Tuesday. It feels like it was yesterday. Like you say, the pain is unbearable and never stops. I wake up in a morning thinking it’s another day without Ian and I go to bed, switch off the light and lie awake for hours thinking of him or talking to him. We had been together since we were 16, he was 53 when he passed away. We also felt we would grow old together. Christmas used to be our favourite time of the year but I just want it to come and go. Some days are easier than others but this time of year with his burthday, Christmas then mine 4 days later it is all too much for me 
Sending everyone love and thoughts xxx
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@Penny1912 I am so sorry for your loss too. I fully understand what you are going through. It’s hard. Like you I wake up every morning and know that Tony will not be here and the tears flow. I don’t sleep well and wake up every morning since I lost Tony at 04:00. The whole cycle starts again just like groundhog day… I think everyone one here would like Christmas to be over as quickly as possible. I hope that we all manage to survive this ‘festive’ time and find some peace.
Sending you and everyone here love and hugs. xx
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4pm seems to be the regular awake time for me too, horrid isn’t it x
@Kathy6 Hi. Yes me too. I’ve never watched so much rubbish on TV but there is no point trying to get back to sleep. Take care x
@Kathy6 @Penny1912 I wish I knew the reason why we wake up at 04:00 AM every day. It’s horrible and it’s worse because it’s dark. Take care and hope we have some rest tonight. xx
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Same here. I wonder what it is about that particular time. My sister-in-law bought me teddy bear sheets and duvet covers and they have definitely helped. I still wake up through the night but I fall asleep again more often. They are so warm and comforting, I think they help me to relax a bit. I don’t have shares in the company by the way lol. Xx
@Kathy6
I love them. They’re snugglier than flannelette sheets because they’re so fleecy and they just make it a bit less horrendous going to bed on my own.x
Thank you for sharing Stargate, you summed up my feelings exactly. I lost my my husband Andy of 39 years in November, he was 63, a sudden unexpected stroke. I too wake up every night in the early hours, I think it’s related to stress hormones. Ive found that bedtime yoga and meditation are helping, a good bedtime routine with self care eg sleep cream, stay away from phone. Now when I wake up i can listen to a meditation or read a book for a bit and it helps to distract me, I try to rest even if i cant sleep. I was told it’s good to not create a pattern of getting up at that time.
I can’t believe how hard it all is. Im lucky to be able to stsy with my daughter and granddaughter at the moment. I’m only coping when busy and distracted. I don’t always feel like meeting people, its emotional, but once I do it does help.
Thinking of you all at this difficult time xx
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I wake up between 4 and 5 am a
every morrnjng, try to rest until 7 ish
but not seeing anyone today and the thought of hours on my own is unbearable. Had some breakfast and lay down on settee until 9.45 am. Cant stop crying as i feel so lonely and cant motivate myself to do anything. Dont want to pester my family but miss Tony so much. Cant do this on my own, need distractions to help.
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@Debbiea Hi, I fully understand all that you describe here, it’s so hard to cope isnt it. The night time wakening is familiar to me too and I don’t know how to deal with this and I feel so tired during the day. Distraction helps but I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life being distracted, I guess at some stage we have to find our new life whatever that is, to be honest I loved the one I had. Thinking of you Debbie and sending best wishes to you, take care of yourself x
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Loneliness is horrible but we have to face it everyday and nothing we can do about it! Every day I think and dread about another sad and lonely day and how much longer this will carry on, dreading the next day, the next day and the next day…so unbearably heartbreaking 
I guess the new life will be getting on with whatever needs to be done, but the feeling of deep love and sadness is constantly there underneath 
Take care everyone X
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Its been exactly 7 weeks since I lost my wife, dont know how Ive got here tbh besides Ive had unbeatable support from my friends. Ive had a lots of unbearable moments and twice were I was convinced that I was next and was about to snap with pressure. For me I was my wifes best friend, husband and full time carer, so I was always busy, so Ive tried to stay busy. Even doing pointless tasks seem to help, spending as much time as possible with friends and family. My best friend came for a catch up last Wednesday and her son said to me " when will you be better, and come back" oh I broke down in tears! It was genuine but made me think a little differently since. Hes stayed over last night and we watched a few films and had a really good chat. Im a talker and love people, love my community. Ive been trying to walk my dog more than normal, walking seems to be fantastic for me plus my health. Plus now signed up with goodgym, its not a gym, Its a community voluntary service were you keep active by helping those who are in need or less fortunate. I myself have used there services and worked with them in the past when me and my wife managed a community centre. So hopefully this could help me stay busy and maybe develop into something else one day. My wifes funeral is in a few days so I do suspect this breif small waves of greif wont last and will respike again soon. I remember my mom used to say " if you cant do anything about it dont stress/worry" “keep the faith” I realise this is easier said than done, but i repeatedly say these to myself frequently throughout the day. Dont lock yourself away, I did this for about 2 weeks and getting up and out of that hole is hard. Talk to people, walk or sit in the garden with a cuppa coffee 
.
I tried initially looking for bereavement support groups but even after long searching Ive not found any within a 25m drive of my home. But there are other types of community activities that may help me or you if you ask friend or your doctors, I get calls one a week from a lovely lady who check in and listens and suggests help should I decide to take it.
Hopefully Ive helped a little.
Steve.
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@Debbiea I am so sorry that you are having a bad day. I understand the unbearable hours of being on your own. It’s horrible - no one to talk to, laugh with, have a meal with because we have lost the only person in the world who understood us and gave us hugs and loved us unconditionally. It’s hard to motivate yourself so I have to take each hour as it comes and do small things to distract me. Woks sometimes but you never know when the next wave is going to hit you. I can never plan for the future. Be kind to yourself and take care. Sending you love 
and hugs.xx
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@Robin12 Thank you. Yes, it is all hard. The pain of loss is unbearable and like nothing I have ever experienced before. I’m glad that you have your daughter and granddaughter to support you. I don’t have anyone near me so this forum is my support group and I have found it so helpful to be able to post how I am feeling and everyone understands as we are all on the same awful journey. I hope that in time all of us will get some relief from this pain and learn to live/co-exist with our grief.
Take care. Wishing everyone here survives this time of year. Will be thinking of all of you. Sending love and hugs xx
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Yes, this support group is truly amazing! To be able to share our thoughts, feelings with, and to support one another throughout this traumatic journey is truly amazing - I am so grateful 
.
Take care X
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@StarGate I’m so sorry to hear you don’t have anyone close by, I hope you have family and friends you can call, and thank goodness for the support from this group x
@Robin12 I have a couple of friends I can call but the support from this group is a godsend. x
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