@StarGate i hate to think of you so lonely through this awful heartbreaking time! I feel lonely but then I do have my 3 children with me so I know compared to some people, I’m not? But trying to be strong for them whilst grieving myself is so hard! 
I’m always here if you ever want to talk? Please just message me, we can talk about anything it doesn’t matter?! 
xx
I’m so sorry that you had such a tough weekend I’ve been at my daughters house overnight but cried my eyes out on my way home, it was lovely to be with family but still the loneliness was there as soon as I was driving home. There is nothing that helps with the grief , at least I can’t find it. This forum goes a long way to understand that we are by no means alone. Keep strong, sending lots of love x
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@Scarl34 I am sure it’s hard trying to be strong for your children. Thank you for the offer of talking. It’s very kind of you and much appreciated.
Take care, look after yourself and your children. xx
@Kathy6 I understand the loneliness even when you are surrounded by people who care for you. This grieving process is torture.
Thank you for reading my post. I am trying to keep strong but it’s hard.
Take care. Love. xx
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@StarGate I hope you are feeling a little bit better today. I have moved further north, where me and my wife had planned to move to, before she had her diagnosis.
My adult children live away, London and abroad, but they do call.
I went to the local pub to watch football and nodded to a few known faces but no real interaction, so in understand the aloneness that a lot of us here are going through.
Feel free to chat if you would like.
Take care…Pete
@PJ64 Hi Pete, thank you for reading my post and responding. I am glad this weekend is nearly over. It has been one of the worst so far. I hope that you are settling in your new home. Nice to hear that your children keep in touch with you. It’s good that you managed to get out to the pub
Unfortunately, I am not in that position as I can’t leave my mother on her own.
Thank you for the offer of a chai. I may take you up on it.
Take care. Joyce
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Hi Joyce you’re certainly not on your own. Same here. The only person ive spoken to all weekend is went on 3 small walks and didn’t see a soul. No phone call nothing. I rhink people seem to think we’re ok now when i feel totally empty. I force myself to eat just to keep alive but not interested in cooking anymore. Yes it is lonely. I really don’t know what the answer is. I feel like some sort of recluse. Still waiting for the post so i can get information how to get into.my bank again. I’ll probably mess that up again. I’m trying to think positive but taking one step forward and two back. These dark nights don’t help but I’m sure we’ll get there. Take care x jill
@Jay15 Hi Jill, it’s amazing how the phone and messages stop. It’s almost as if they are frightened that we will tell them how we really are. I too have lost interest in cooking. I’m afraid it’s ready meals and mainly for my mum. I can’t swallow more than a couple of spoons. Hope you get your banking sorted soon. I agree that the dark nights don’t help. Trying to stay positive but very difficult. I hope we get to a place where the pain is less.
Take care. Joyce xx
@StarGate I’m sorry you’ve had such a lonely weekend. I don’t think that the weather and the fact that it was Remembrance Sunday helped. When they had the silence and played the last post at football I was in bits.
Hope fully tomorrow will be better.
Take care
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I know how you feel about can’t be bothered. Feeling like that today after a very lonely weekend. I only get up for my dog. At least he gets me out of this house for a little walk. He’s nearlyv18yrs but still going. I think we’re all i the same boat all struggling. I too get anxious about things . Had to change my phone number due to a scam and now Internet banking won’t recognise me so locked me out. My husband did all that and ow got to register from scratch. Haven’t got a clue and normally wouldn’t bother about it but now it’s a nightmare. I really hope you’re feeling a bit better but you’re not on your own. Take care. X
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After a horrible weekend, the start to this week has not gone well. The usual waking up at 04:30 in the morning and the tears, work was not distracting me today. Tears rolling down cheeks. Don’t know why. I went in the bathroom and there is a small bit of plaster coming away from the wall. I don’t know how to fix it. Normally, I would have told my husband and he would deal with it. This made me cry uncontrollably for the loss of my lovely husband. More things to deal with on my own. I miss him so much. Just not being able to speak to him or even message him today brought everything to the fore about how alone I am. I don’t like it.
Hope that all of you had a better than me.
Sending love and hugs to all. Take care of yourselves. xx
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@StarGate sorry you haven’t had a good day 
I have that massive fear of as soon as the littlest thing goes wrong what il do as shaun literally knew how to fix everything… I even panic driving the car now incase something goes wrong then I don’t know what to do? I panic about everything, and just wait for something to go wrong…
Because I know il need him and he won’t be here…
I had abit of a bad turn earlier, I phoned and
Cancelled his car insurance last month was told it was void from that day, and no further payments would be taken etc…
Then get a letter today demanding payment or his policy would be cancelled… I phoned them and the woman was so rude, laughing and talking to colleagues whilst I was crying saying this had already been sorted… I lost my cool and shouted saying I phoned them last month he didn’t owe any payments and now I’m being hounded for money. She was it me on hold for 25 mins to come back and say she would cancel the policy today and her superior was working on me not have to make any payments?? I was so angry and upset it just totally knocked me
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@StarGate my day wasn’t much better. Have had no heating or hot water since Saturday. Engineer finally came today after lots of hassle. Still not fixed as needed to order a part for the boiler. The one person I need to share it with isn’t here and that breaks my heart all over again. Here’s to the week ahead improving for all of us🤞🏻
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The insurance thing is horrid, I’ve not had anything that bad, but I miss my husband so much in every way, how can this feel so bad that it’s painful. I had a dream that he came for me, but I woke up and the dream stopped. I’m heartbroken thinking about it, what did it mean?
@Scarl34 why does everything need to be so difficult? If only people would do their jobs properly it would stop compounding our grief.
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Exactly @Jan17 and it was just so stressful as I literally rung them beginning of last month to sort… the woman then tried acting like she was doing me a favour on the phone saying she would cancel the policy as of today if I wanted, then ended the call saying she would email shaun to confirm?? 
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@Scarl34 I am so sorry you had a bad day as well. I don’t blame you for shouting at the insurance lady. It’s bad enough phoning them to let them know your husband had passed away. I am in tears whenever I have to tell someone that my Tony passed away. I agree that this lady should be ashamed for treating you the way she did. No compassion or understanding… so I understand you felt knocked out. You have enough on your plate with your little girl’s bereavement counselling today. I hop it went ok. Like you I don’t know what I am going to do when anything goes wrong with the house or can. People are not very helpful. I miss my Tony as I never had to worry about things like this or having to make decisions on my own. Please be kind to yourself. You are not at fault. I am sending you lots of love❤️ and hugs. Take care and maybe tomorrow will be better than today for both of us. Joyce. xx
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@Jan17 So sorry that you have no heating or hot water especially in this cold and rainy weather. I hope it gets fixed soon… Like you the one person I needed to share my problem with wasn’t here which is why I broke down. - the pain and sadness of losing Tony came back with a vengeance. I certainly hope the rest of the week will be better for all of us. Take care. Sending love and hugs. xx
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@StarGate the smallest silliest things make us cry don’t they.
I don’t know what set me off today, but my face is now sore from all the tears, and they won’t stop.
I had to see a solicitor about something and she went and got a box of tissues for me.
Maybe tomorrow will be easier, but I doubt it.
Hugs to all
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