Yes we really are lost without our men aren’t we? It’s so unfair and cruel… I don’t have much hope for tomorrow 
xx
@Paddy53 You are right the smallest things do set us off. I was crying so much today that my eyes are so sore now.
Take care and hugs. xx
@Scarl34 Yes, we are especially when they were our whole world. I hope for all of us tomorrow may be better (how I don’t know). Hope is all I have left 
. Nothing much makes any sense to me. Take care of yourself. I am always here to support you. Big hugs. xx
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I know exactly how you feel. I just wish i had taken more notice of how to fix things. Horrible weekend. Tried to get into the computer. Managed to get into it but still can’t get to bank account. Phoned up and listened to music for 30 mins to be told can’t do it over phone. Lost it and told him i was just sick of it. All i want them to do is change my mobile number. That’s what’s causing the trouble. Anyway it will get sorted eventually i hope. So sorry you feel so down. It’s 7 months now and I’m still sorting things out. Anxious about weather at the moment as I’ve been flooded once and really couldn’t cope with that again. Sorry I’m rambling on now about things that might not happen when the worst thing ever already has. Let’s hope this week is better…xx
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Those insurance people sound disgusting. When i took my husband’s death certificate to the bank i was told beforehand i would see someone in a private room. When i arrived there was a long queue. Saw someone and said i was supposed to go somewhere private and this vile woman said we don’t do that here. Get to the back of the queue. Therefore all my business was discussed in front of everyone. How these people get these jobs i don’t know. No empathy at all. Hope you have a better week. Take care x
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@Jay15 that makes me so angry and hurt for you!!! I was very lucky with the bank they done everything online for me and it was a lot less stressful than I had been anticipating!! The worst for me was his gym!! He rung to cancel his membership when he was in hospital as knew he wouldn’t be going again. They rung/text/emailed him daily hounding him!! I stopped on way home from the hospital one afternoon and asked politely to speak to someone on his behalf and this awful woman looked at me and said “we’re not speaking to you on his behalf because of data protection”
I think they must of been having a team meeting as the reception was full of staff and I literally lost it screaming crying at them that my husband was led in a hospital bed dying and they were ringing him hounding him about his membership, I must of looked like an absolute lunatic, i had a huge panic attack and couldn’t speak. The woman was gobsmacked and sheepishly said “give me his name and dob il sort it” I couldn’t even talk to give the details and just about managed to write it down. I got in the car and was shaking uncontrollably and my 16 year old son was begging me to pull over and breath…
I get some people don’t know what your going through but how they treat people is absolutely disgusting xxx
@Jay15 Yes, I wish I had taken notice too but I never thought I needed to. I thought we were going to grow old together. I hope you get your banking sorted out soon. Let’s hope you don’t get flooded. It’s ok to ramble. Sometimes you need to as it’s what is worrying you. But you are right the worst has already happened to us. Take care and hope tomorrow will be better. xx
@Jay15 That’s terrible!. I wonder where they find these so called customer service people. They are not serving customers with no people skills. Sorry thi happened to you. xx
You have been through the works @Scarl34 I’m so sorry that you have had this horrible experience - you didn’t need it. I’m not sure what has happened to compassion. Where do they get these awful staff from or are they only interested in profits?
Take care. Love and hugs to you. 
xx
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To be honest I’m usually quite polite but i find now i can be quite rude back. I think some people take advantage if they think you’re vulnerable. I had to change my mobile number because i fell for a scamphone call. Got as far as giving my name and address and then realised what it was. Cut them off but phone kept ringing every 2 minutes. Phoned mobile company and said this was a common thing and people have to change their number. Now i get that i don’t trust anything. My husband used to say i was too trusting but I’m learning. I’ve learnt you’ve certainly got to look after yourself when you’re on your own.
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Hi @StarGate and everyone else who has posted on this thread. Everything that has been said I understand. This is indeed my hollow life now.
Come January it will be two years since my gorgeous wife Christine died. It is only yesterday really. Sometimes I relive her death several times a day. Personally I have not found that the passage of time has helped. Quite the reverse in fact. The first year I was numb and in shock. Then that wore off and I have now awoken into a living nightmare. Being without Christine is now in very sharp focus.
Certainly some days are more tolerable than others for no particular reasons that I have been able to discern. But these days are fragile. It takes very little to pitch me back into profound feelings of loss, aloneness and to start weeping. This morning while walking up the road to get a coffee, three hospital transport vehicles drove past me within the space of a minute or so. This immediately triggered ghastly memories of all the journeys we took in such transport so that was me done for the day.
Absolutely appalling the way folk have been treated by Utilities, Banks, Insurance companies and the like. It is shameful. I was overcharged for some work that I had done on the house a couple of months back but I was simply too exhausted with grief to contest it. There are some pretty vile people out there just waiting to take advantage or outright scam. But there are good people as well and it is so lovely when you encounter them. Usually unexpectedly I have found.
This forum and the people on it are a huge help. There are no solutions but there is the shared humanity and understanding. Thank you.
So best wishes to all. Maybe tomorrow will be more tolerable.
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Good Morning @JerryH Sorry for the loss of your wife Christine. Thank you for reading this post and for your thoughts. It has given me an insight that there may be tolerable days ahead (not yet for me). I think that grief has no end date, it’s just the intensity may ease. I read a post that siad the more deeply you love someone, the harder the pain of loss you feel. All the triggers will remain which will bring waves of sadness back and I can understand what you are saying. I know that I am still in the early stages of grieving but there are times when I don’t know why I am crying. At the moment I don’t feel like I am living, just existing.
I agree that this forum has been a big help. It helps me put down my feelings and knowing that others understand what I am going through as a shared experience we all have.
I like your word tolerable (we will never get better I don’t think) so I wish you and everyone has a more tolerable day today.
Take care. Sending love and hugs. xx
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Hi Jerry i think all of us will feel your pain. I know what you mean about memories. In December i have an appointment at the same hospital where i had the worst night 7 months ago. It’s nothing serious but i dread the thought of walking in that place. I’m having problems with certain people I’m dealing with and sometimes i think i just can’t be bothered. At other times i know i have to persevere. It’s certainly a lonely existence This is a good place to vent your feelings and I’m sure everyone on here will support you. Unless people have been through this they just don’t understand the feeling of emptiness etc. Take care. Jill
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Good morning Jerry, thinking of you and all of us on this forum
Take care
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Its also 6 weeks today , my beloved husband suddenly passed away. Am off today where he died at a sports center, where he played badminton. His friends are getting a bench in his name.they want me to say where should it be placed. Its nice of them, but so painful 
. What everyone one has said on this thread, its so true. We will miss them forever, the whole they have left.one day i feel i can cope, another i dont want to be here. Take care everyone
@Sis2023 Sorry for your loss. I totally understand what you are going through and feel your pain. It will be 8 weeks on Thursday since I lost my wonderful husband Tony but it still feels like yesterday. The pain of loss is still very raw. It’s nice that his friends want to get a bench in his name. It will be bittersweet.
Look after yourself. Sending you love and hugs❤️ xx
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It’s been neatly 8 weeks since I lost the love of my life, I don’t think that love ever dies just because they are no longer here, that love goes on but there is no one to give it to, how do you ever get over that?
I am managing day to day and trying to make a new way of life now, hope you can move forward but by bit. Sending love x
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Stargate and kathie6
Thank you, it is so hard. I miss my hugs, a week before he died i said we have to hug more.why did i say that, did my subconscious know something . Am so sorry for your lovely husband’s passing as well. Life is horrible. Take care xx
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It’s easy to look back over the last few days of your life together but I think it’s the years you had together that are your life. I also have the physical pain of grief, that is a massive shocker, not just tears and sobbing, but the feeling of heartache that was unexpected, but then I’ve not had this happen before. There is no way to prepare, I hope you get through this day by day, hour by hour, it’s tough x
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