I can do this I can do this I can do this. I’ve got this. I’ve cut my hair and got my clothes ready for work tomorrow and now I’m making stew for dinner. Later I’ll have a shower and an early night I’ve got this only 3 days and then we break up for Christmas. Love you mom
Hi mom
I feel so scared to go back to work I know I shouldn’t and I know I am overthinking things and I’m running through the worst scenario’s then I feel stupid then I feel scared and before o l know it I have worked into a panic attack. STOP… I can do this you’ve got this breath I can here you now breath and wiggle your toes. It will be fine you got this you are good at your job and I love my job xxx
Morning mom just going to walk the dog then going into work. I’VE GOT THIS.I CAN DO THIS. XXX
Hi mom got through the day I’m cold and I’m going to 
speak to you later xxx I’ve got this xxx
Hi mom had a rough night
Legs are shaking today but I can do this two Christmas performances today . I’ve got this xxx love you xxx
Evening mom
Well, the children did the 2 performances I could not bring myself to watch I had to stand outside as one child got very fearful as he could not see his mom I just crumbled. But I got through the day then my work collage gave me a christmas gift of a glass angle with a feather 
inside so I cried it is beautiful I can’t thank her enough and I haven’t brought her anything xxx
Mom
Not feeling very well in bed with the flu yesterday was party day and it was very hard Christmas songs and Carol’s around the Christmas tree which I could not face. I am glad the day is over. Wait im glad the week is over. I am so glad school is over. Oh then it was the christmas party which I didnt do I feel like. I’ve feel like I’ve done a lot of nothing this week. But I did get to give the children their gifts xxx
Well mom
Work has finished for the holiday. Just when I think I can’t stand the waves of emotions I catch the flu surely I can’t feel any worse. I feel like unzipping my skin and just stepping out for 5 minutes to stop the pain the feelings and the thoughts
Love you mom xxx
Hi mom
I went out today for a drive in the car. Its was an ok day. Then out of the blue, my partner tells me I’m controlling. I am hurt by his comment I’m finding it hard as I’m Tring to find myself and now I’m doubting myself He always seems to turn things
always seems to trun
Do not doubt yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be true to yourself. Your feelings are important.
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Hello janeysilver52
Thank you for replying I was just having a moment .l am sorry sometimes its the only place that listens and it is the only place I feel I can talk freely and openly with no judgement xxx
No need to apologize. This is a safe place and it sounds like you need it.
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Hi mom
It’s been the fastest shop for food I’ve ever done then when we get to the car he just sits and holds the bag I can’t pack the shopping. He is pushing my buttons. I really miss you mom xxx
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Hi mom
I just smiled at him all day I haven’t said much today he just not listening . Miss you so much
Hi mom
I went to see your twin sister today I feel a bit better today xxx I am so grateful for all that she did for you and what a wonderful bond you both had the support she gave to you us and more so for my brother. I also went to see my brother who I am so proud as he was the one who cared for you while we all worked he cooked and kept house I am so proud to call him my brother who is still having battles to face with the council now to keep the family home in which we grew up in. Itold my brother that I am finding it hard and i cry 
and it is ok and im ok hopefully he will answer my call now and it is ok to ask for help reach out as it is hard to do it to family and I am so proud of him 
xxx Tomorrow I am going to see my eldest sister and drop of some christmas 
decorations. Today has been hard but it one that I feel I need to give honor to 2 people NO 2 family members i am proud to have in my life xxx
Hi mom
Feel like my brother and sisters have heard me when I said I’m struggling. I think we all felt like everyone was ok as we all went about going back to work and family life that we all forgot to talk. So I hope we are all ready to open up about how mom’s death has had an impact on us all and that we can say and do different things to honour her and say we are all struggling with our loss and it is ok xxx
Hi mom
Today I went to see Dad. He looks well he was so proud to show me his coin collection today in his new coin case’s that I’d given him it was nice to see him smile then I poped to see my brother to find my baby sister had popped down to see him too so to hug my baby sis was good 
looking forward to Boxing day to see my brother again and my eldest sister just haven’t had a chance to see my other sister. Miss you so much xxx
I lost my Dad in April and I am sorry you are grieving too Lola. You are not alone. We have to keep hope alive for better days. I try Yoga and it helps and walking. May God give us all strength.
Hello Tahereh
Thank you for your kind words I used to do yoga so I’m thinking about going back xxx
Hi mom
today has been hard I’ve tried to treat it like a normal day. everyone has gone and now I can sit in silence and breath. I miss you mom xxx