Hi mom
Walked to the doctor’s today it was pouring rain. Just as I arrive I step on a paving slab that is wobbling and the biggest puddle of water engulfed my shoe that I cried.
I went in the doctor’s it was so hard to walk in and tell someone you don’t know that you can’t cope. And that you think you might have depression. I would like to say he was a very helpful doctor he was kind and understanding it didn’t stop me from feeling like a complete tool though.I feel like ive got another cold coming my ears are bloked and now my nose is running it only been 4 week ago when i was loosing my voice. Just want togo to bed .
Hello mom
Emily was back in London doing her dance it was nice to see her smile again I have never slept so much. Miss you momlove you mom xxx
Morning mom can’t believe it’s Monday again were did the weekend go well off to work we go. I will have to try and phone my brother as I’m getting no answer. Love you xxx
Hi,
mom just not feeling myself but I can’t put my finger on it today has been ok.
Hi mom
Another day just can’t put my finger on is why I’m feeling so down today. I feel scared and tired at the same time I feel like a failure but have no urge to be productive. I want people to be around me but then I don’t. I want to be alone but not by myself. I want to feel something other than this. NUMBNESS . Sounds crazy 
Mi mom xxx
Mom
I have had an ok day at work told the girls yesterday was a wobbly day and today they brought me some flowers. I thought it was an ok day until I started to cook dinner the can opener would not work so tomatoes went all over my top then I pulled the drawer apart to find another can opener then the FUCKING DRAWER BROKE !!! Why am I letting it get to me my partner said nothing and did nothing and that annoyed me too. We then sat and ate dinner in silence. Sorry xxx
Morning mom
I’ve got such a headache today but off to work I go need to start a list of things I need to do as they are mountain up… love you xxx
Morning mom
My head feels like it’s going to exploded going to work now …
Hi, mom its been a very quiet day today just me and the dog. Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes its the little voice at the end of the day that says: “Ill try again tomorrow”. Xxx
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Hi mom
I carry the grief with me,
It won’t always look
How I think it should be
But it’s consistent and steady
And when it knocks,
I’ll try to be ready.
It won’t always come
Through tears
It won’t always look
The same through the years
But in one way or another,
I will carry grief with me.
I carry the love with me,
It won’t always look
How I think it should be
But it’s consistent and steady
And when it knocks,
I’ll try and be ready.
It’s a song my heart sings
And the world hears
It’s a story my soul carries
Despite all of it’s fears.
But in one way or another
I carry love with me.
Oh, to carry them both
It’s my heart’s hardest journey
But I don’t walk alone
I know you will be with me.
So until we meet again,
I’ll carry the grief
I’ll carry the love.
I’ll carry them with me.
Oh, I’ll carry you with me
Liz-Newman
2 Likes
Hi Lola
I can totally relate to your feelings. I was in pieces when my Dad passed in April. I thought I would never be well again. It’s very recently that things have slowly got better. I went to the Doctor a month after my Dad passed and he put me on antidepressants. I found venlafaxine has really helped me function.
Sending you lots of love
Tahereh
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Hi mom
I feel like I’m doing the same thing over and over again. We often don’t realize the value of a person until they are gone. Love you mo. Work was ok xx
Oh mom
I overslept mad panic walking the dog and getting to work and not being late for work… Made it my heart was pounding felt so sick but my colleagues were understanding hope I don’t do it again tomorrow as I can’t hear the alarm as my ears are blocked and I can’t hear properly and my partner is away on work till Thursday night … love you xxx
Morning mom made sure I awake today…going to walk the dog my ears hurt today but feel ok today have got staff metting going to try and sit by the door today
Hi mom
Well not sure what happened to our staff meeting but I was told to do some cleaning so that was a weight off. Today was another ok day till I came to pay for my shopping Ive lost my credit card. When I told my partner he hit the roof making me feel useless again.
Morning mom just feel really tired today having to reach down deep to motivate myself xxx
Morning mom
Can’t believe I feel scared to go to the doctor s my heart is racing my hands are shaking I want to ring and cancel the appointment. I feel so stupid. Love you mom xxx
Hi mom, I had a good day today. The doctor has upped my antidepressants so no shaking today. There are no meltdowns or arguments. Love you mom always we me xxx
Your messages are so comforting to read,i love the fact that you speak to her. Its lovely.