Thank you I used to talk to my mom every day sometimes… more I miss it so much.
Hi mom just got back from London sat in the car all day and could not bring myself to walk about . But today has felt much calmer. Loe you xxx
Hi mom
Just walked the dog no shakes just need my ears to work feeling a lot better this morning ready well almost ready to take on the day. Love you xxx
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Hi mom
Today was a good day I’ve even spoke to my boss without shaking or crying. Love you mom xxx
Morning mom
Feeling ok the shaking has stopped now but I just feel so scared all the time don’t know why? I’ve got this…love you
I can completely relate to how you’re feeling,you are not alone.
Thank you CR73
Sometimes it’s so nice to know you are not on your own and you not going mad thank you for your kind words sending much love to you
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Hi mom
Work was very busy today as we were off timetable this morning so the afternoon was very rushed but I’ve got to learn to let it just be what it is. Love you mom xxx
Hi mom
Just going to work now feeling ok medication seems to be working but deep down I still know I have to talk to someone about why I feel this way. Still feel scared at times to go out and to be with people I’m trying to take little steps but it’s hard enough just getting out of bed and having a wash for work. I feel like a toddler learning to walk but with out a mother to help me. I am just so tired I sit down and before I can think half anhour has passed. Love you mom xxx
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Hi mom feeling shaky today I found a number on my phone I think from the mental health team. I feel scared and stupid to talk to them. I hate talking to people at the best of time feel like I want to run away and hide. Love you mom xxx
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Hi lolla49
I also feel shakey today and numbness in my limbs,i feel like nobody wants to listen,and running away,i feel an enormous sense of wanting time to STOP,just stop. Your thoughts and feelings are similar to mine.
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I send you much love. I am sorry for your loss and I feel your pain. The day-to-day simple things scare the crap out of me and my colleagues just don’t listen to me when I tell them that it takes me 2 hours for me to talk myself into getting out of bed and dressed.
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Hi mom
spoke to the head teacher yesterday. We have a councillor in school he said I can talk to her. When I think of the things she might ask me my answers seem stupid and childish. Why? I’m doing it again thinking things … Im fine just slap on a smile and everything will be fine. Put on my big-person pants and get on with it. WHY DO I HATE TALKING TO PEOPLE? I’ve seen loads of shoes since having this overload of anxiety and depression why can’t I just feel and have nice thoughts? Going to walk the dog fresh air breathe move forward not be left behind running to catch up with the world love you mom xxx
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Hi mom Another weekend time moves differently. I just got no energy to do anything
There will always be some sort of challenge you must face every day and some may be more difficult than others. Don’t let any tough days make you feel weaker because your strength is what brought you to where you are today . YOU’VE COME A LONG WAY. BE PROUD. Roger Lee
Hi, mom
feeling very stressed I’ve had to come out early today as there are traffic lights which people do not adhere to and are very aggressive to drive through so now Im sitting in my car early shaking and crying what a great start to a very full week as yes the co-op has been booked so I’m fretting over that and mothers day next week I just feel so the guilt of all the children how can I feel so guilty I stand at the end of each day at hometime trying to hide under my hat hoping no ones mom comes to ask me anything. Don’t get me wrong I love my job but some parts just seem like Im having my face rubbed in my wounds. Love you mom xxx
Hi mom
I will be glad when it is half term…
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This morning was stressful I left for work early because of the traffic lights and they were gone so I sat early in my car at work breathe… I’ve got this time for work I smile and put on a brave face. The boss starts talking to me while the children are coming in about talking to Wendy the school councilor. I think nothing more about it. Then he comes back with a time today at lunchtime okay the shakes are back and I’m feeling sick all morning Im so scared… I meet with her and she talks she tells me I’m talking in riddles and that we need to work on the living problems before we work on my mom’s death as she is dead and there’s nothing that’s going to change that. Im took back a bit by that remark and that I’d already grieved for my mom when they told us it was terminal. I came out of the meeting and ran to the toilet feeling ashamed and guilty for even asking for help. Then when I get home my partner is I don’t want to cook. I’m like fine ill cook as we can’t afford a take out as you have a massive debt so I walk the dog and then cook dinner. Then after dinner I’m just going to sit down and out of the blue he starts that it you knew we were sorting the caravan insurance out then it turns out into an argument that I’m selfish and lazy moody and always looking for an argument he then tells me to sort my shit out as I’m the problem.
That was my day today mom I miss you putting me on the right path which way do I go…
Morning mom
Well, that was a rough night with my old friend darkness back and not much sleep the co-op seems like a walk in the park. After the night iv had BREATHE I’ve got this all we are doing is going to the shop what could possibly go wrong!!! Why is it your memory replay bad memories over and over in your head right down to the fine details a livving homemade horror film but you find it hard sometimes to remember the good fun thing and really have to work at remembering them? Well, I need to think about walking the dog and getting ready for work. Miss you so much xxx
Mom I’m so glad that day is over cried over milk today yes milk. But I’m so proud I did it I went to the co-op one child was poorly with swollen glans one child fell over but we made it there and back with no panic attacks. The staff meeting after work in fire safety I’m ready for bed I need some sleep now… I am proud of myself I did it xxx sounds silly but Ive had many a sleepless night over this trip and its the first time ive been out or into a shop since october when my mom passed so yes Im proud 
love you mom xxx