Hi Maddie thank you for your kind words it’s lovely that we can all pour our hearts out to each other without people saying uve got to try and move on. It’s so infuriating when they say that I could scream in their face how dare they say that when they haven’t got a clue what you are going through I’ve said to people before I hope and pray you and your families never have to go through such despair and heartache sorry for being negative but it really does upset me. Hope everyone has the nicest weekend they can love shellyanne XX 
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I agree it’s made a big difference to me. It’s somewhere to go to share and we all benefit one another. There’s kindness, understanding and support. Also when someone is in the very darkest place the facilitators notice and offer good and prompt advice in a caring way. It really is therapeutic and positive and honest. Xxx
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Hi Victoria and All, it is utterly heartbreaking for us to have our Grandchildren growing up without their Mum. We have our own grief to deal with and the added sadness of their loss. I hope you have a nice time with Charlie. We brought our Granddaughter on holiday yesterday. We bought a magazine in the airport, it was in a sealed plastic bag as it had some extra gifts with it. When she opened the bag a small feather almost floated out! I was astounded. I hope it was a sign that her Mum is with us.
Love Chris x
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Hi Victoria my grandson Theo who is Leah’s little man is 3 luckily Jake her partner has got him but it breaks my heart he’s no mum now it’s heartbreaking 
he always asks after her and he tells people mummy’s in heaven now Because the doctors couldn’t fix her it makes my stomach turn n I sob it’s so cruel XX I feel so down tday I’ve been out and broke down in 2 shops I just couldn’t hold it back xx
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Oh Shelly Anne , I feel so sorry for you , it doesn’t take much to break . Dawn never had any children , she did carry once , but lost the baby , I think it was down to her problem . I don’t know if it’s a good thing not having any of her children , but now we have nothing on Dawns side , as we don’t talk to her Husband . Take care , and so hope you have a lovely holiday with your darling Grandaughter , Sending love Maddie . Xxxx
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Hello everyone I just wanted to share that yesterday I went out to a music festival. I had been very anxious about going to outings but I did it and I actually had a good time!! That was one of my hurdles I was trying to get past and I felt good about myself afterwards. I actually sat and talked and met some new people and there was little anxiety at all which made me feel good. Two weeks ago I went to an outing to see how I would feel and I only stayed 10 minutes. This time I stayed for 2 hours! 2 months ago I wouldn’t have thought it possible. I know there will probably be setbacks but yesterday gave me hope that things are getting better. I hope everyone else is having the best day that they can. 
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That’s brilliant! That’s a big chink of light, and more, what you’d might call some rays of sunshine. Very pleased for you. Love xxxx
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Thank you, and how have you been doing?
Oh bless you I’m so glad you the the plunge to go and try and enjoy it I’m struggling to go places and to try and enjoy stuff the guilt comes and I break down in tears as I shudnt be enjoying myself I’m struggling really bad with this I’m trying to find a way to not feel such guilt by wanting to try and enjoy the normal everyday things in life but I’m so glad you enjoyed it XX love shellyanne
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Well done, Racy … that is a big hurdle to get over. So proud of you! I really struggled with going out after we lost Gemma. I used to feel so guilty and feel that I shouldn’t be going out and enjoying myself when she couldn’t. Although I do go out and enjoy myself now, there are still some times when I have to find a quiet corner, take a few big breaths then regroup and that will probably always be the case. We are never the same people that we were before and we can only do our best.
Shellyann, just do things at your own pace as we are all so different and you will know what is right for you. It will come.
Much love to you all xxx
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Thank you Victoria is so nice coming on here knowing you get the love and support we all need I’m so glad I joined I look forward to coming on reading all these posts knowing we are all grieving together and we are not on our own at this dreadful time in our lives take care everyone sending love and hugs. Shellyanne XX
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Thank you Victoria it felt really good, hopefully it lasts but if it doesn’t I enjoyed that day!
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Shellyanne, thank-you. I remember posting on here months back that I had laughed and I felt guilty about it and that was just laughing! I remember the support and advice that was given to me at that time which was so needed. When I was out yesterday a thought did come across my mind as far as being out having a good time without my son being here, but I replaced that negative thought with my son would be glad I am doing this.
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Okish. I’m not crying all day and I can even think of something else at times. I’m getting out more and decorating in bursts of energy. Life has calmed down considerably. My grandkids now have a new home and that’s meant I am on better terms with their dad. To an outsider it looks like I’m fine. Im not fine yet, but I do feel less tortured. Im doing better than I would have thought possible in January, but I’m aware it’s still a lifelong journey with all ups and downs. I still miss her very very badly, but now things aren’t so raw I am on the first tiny steps to slowly slowly accept what can’t be changed. Tho it makes me shiver to say that, and it feels disloyal but it’s a part of the grief journey I think and issues come up, go, and they might reappear suddenly. I’m so glad things are improving for you. I can’t praise everyone on here enough for the support we all share. I think it was definitely one of my chinks of light when I came here. Sending you hugs xxxx
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Dear friends.
Well, tomorrow at 13.55 it will be 3 years since life support was switched off for our Lisa. As I am sure you all feel, part of us dies with our children. We are never the same as before.
However, this weekend we had Jemma home and Brooke here too. My friend had her 60th in her garden and sadly the weather changed and it raised but my two special girls were with us and we had a wonderful time. Also today I took Brooke swimming and she has become so confident. Its a joy to watch as she is exactly like her Mummy. Same body shape same movements! It’s really weird but lovely.
We will get through tomorrow remembering our beautiful daughter and all that she was.
Love to all.
Attached photo of Jemma and Brooke at the party. Xx
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Nell, I am so happy to hear that! I feel exactly the same way that you do I feel I’m in the same place. Things are improving little by little but like you said I know it’s a long journey but I grab on to the moments of happiness that I do get. Joining this site was one of the best decision I have made on this journey. Everyone has been and is lovely and supporting. Hugs back to you
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That is wonderful such a fun and beautiful photo.
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Oh Beautiful photo of your lovely girls . Brooke is doing so well , and so pleased she is like her Darling Mummy and brings so much joy to you all . Will be thinking of you tomorrow , as I know it will be so hard for you Sending love to youbnd your family xxxx
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Thinking of you tomorrow Kate…These anniversaries are not easy, I know you will be reliving every second every minute every hour in detail just as if it was yesterday, but you have the love and support of your family around you and that means so much.
Take care…Marina xxx
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Sending you my love and hugs. For tomorrow xx
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